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Original poster

People that document their life on SM

76 replies

shesadramaqueen · 30/12/2022 21:25

So I admit I'm not overly a big user of social media but I do have it, mainly to book hair appointments and the like but I have one girl that I worked with about 15 years ago who literally lives out her entire day through her 'stories' she's stunning, great job and lives an incredible life but I find it so tone deaf at times I mean she has had about 20 foreign holidays this year ( honestly) and is always posting about eating in the most expensive restaurants ( with her moet and Chandon) it fascinates me and I love watching her stories but I think im supposed to be incredibly jealous... surley that's her intention? Making the nobodies like me envy her lol!
( maybe I do a little) but isn't bit such a show off things to do??

OP posts:
Branleuse · 30/12/2022 22:10

you say you enjoy reading her posts but also that she is trying to make you and everyone else feel awful by posting them,

Maybe shes trying to post pics that her friends and followers will enjoy?? She sounds a bit flashy maybe, but I just wouldnt assume that a friend would post things in order to make people feel bad. I really think this is more about you than her. Social media is just another way people communicate in the digital age. I dont know why people get so judgy about it

NewMoonPhase · 30/12/2022 22:12

Don't follow her then 🤷🏼‍♀️

DuplicateUserName · 30/12/2022 22:12

2023yearofchange · 30/12/2022 22:09

I think the problem with SM is you almost have to document elements of your daily life etc to fit in with what everyone else is doing!! I came off instagram a month ago and honestly it feels like a weight has been lifted. I don't miss it at all. Am not on fb either. I get what you are saying OP. I just felt that there was a little pressure to record what was going on in my life and pressure to comment on others' lives... without the good part of meeting up wirh people!! I mean what is the point, honestly. If you really are friends wirh someone you are going to be in contact / meet up / chat about stuff anyway.

I think the problem with SM is you almost have to document elements of your daily life etc to fit in with what everyone else is doing!!

See I disagree but maybe that's because I'm in my mid fifties and not into Insta or anything other than FB.

FB for me is just a nice way to keep my friends (actual friends) and family in one place so to speak, and I love to see all their holiday photos and anything else they choose to post.

If I didn't I'd unfriend them but hell would freeze over before I became bitter about it like the OP.

2023yearofchange · 30/12/2022 22:19

Duplicate that's lovely and probably how sm should be used. I sort of felt that if I didn't put posts up fairly regularly I would be out of the gang on Instagram!! My lot posted a lot! It wasn't for me. Much happier without it!

Sidking · 30/12/2022 22:24

Maybe she's not trying to make anyone jealous, and she's just posting her life like many people do, only her life appears more luxurious 🤷

I use Facebook and Instagram, I used to post a lot more day to day thoughts/bollocks but I think more about what I post now, and the majority of the time I'm only putting words to the pictures I'm posting. I use SM to share pictures with family & friends, and as a memory book for me, I have ADHD and absolutely love seeing things come up on my memories I had completely forgotten about.

Some people definitely show off on SM, but others are just over sharers, some of those have much more luxurious lifestyles than others but I don't think that should mean they can only post about one of their 5 holidays a year or buy some Primark clothes for FB pictures in case it bothers someone on a lower income. Sure some will be jealous, but that's not necessarily intentional

Smellywellyhoo · 30/12/2022 22:26

Does it matter? She is using social media now it's intended to be used, so unfollow/unfriend.

Branleuse · 30/12/2022 22:32

2023yearofchange · 30/12/2022 22:09

I think the problem with SM is you almost have to document elements of your daily life etc to fit in with what everyone else is doing!! I came off instagram a month ago and honestly it feels like a weight has been lifted. I don't miss it at all. Am not on fb either. I get what you are saying OP. I just felt that there was a little pressure to record what was going on in my life and pressure to comment on others' lives... without the good part of meeting up wirh people!! I mean what is the point, honestly. If you really are friends wirh someone you are going to be in contact / meet up / chat about stuff anyway.

friendships are not all about meeting up in person. Thats quite narrow minded and ableist.

Hibye23289 · 30/12/2022 22:35

You're feeding into it though by looking at all her stories, maybe you are annoyed at yourself for doing that. I honestly think how you feel about others can sometimes be a reflection of how you feel about your own life, for example if my marriage is going great I don't care about other people's happy marriages but if my husband has been a dick then I seen someone being lovey I would maybe feel that pang of oh fuck off 😂 buy not always.

On the flip side I feel like I am hypocrite because I am going completely back on what i have just said, I have someone on social media who is currently on a cruise, holding a glass of champagne in hot tubs or standing at the staircase like Rose from Titanic and I think it looks slightly ridiculous that they want the attention off the 'little people' because so many people comment in awe and the posts get hundreds of likes but I am not jealous, I don't like the posts because I am not gonna arse lick but then by not liking the posts I feel it may look as if I am jealous which I would also hate 😂 social media is weird

Jennybeans401 · 30/12/2022 22:38

It sounds like this girl is a show off with the posts on there, it all seems very fake. You don't know what's going on in real life though, a friend of mine had a fantasy Facebook life. Everything was perfect on sm and her life was enviable.

She rang me every night in tears about her dp who was emotionally abusing her. Her FB life made her feel better for a while.

Jennybeans401 · 30/12/2022 22:39

You can unfollow people instead of unfriending them. It makes life easier.

DuplicateUserName · 30/12/2022 22:40

I have someone on social media who is currently on a cruise, holding a glass of champagne in hot tubs or standing at the staircase like Rose from Titanic and I think it looks slightly ridiculous that they want the attention off the 'little people' because so many people comment in awe and the posts get hundreds of likes but I am not jealous, I don't like the posts because I am not gonna arse lick but then by not liking the posts I feel it may look as if I am jealous which I would also hate 😂 social media is weird

Social media isn't weird, people are.

'Attention off the little people'? Why would you rather come to that conclusion than 'they're just documenting their happy memories online'?

Honestly, I've probably got about 6 photos of me online and 4 of them I've been tagged in by other people, yet it would never occur to me to view my friends/family as anything other than just posting what they want because it makes them happy.

BagOfBollocks · 30/12/2022 22:41

Jennybeans401 · 30/12/2022 22:38

It sounds like this girl is a show off with the posts on there, it all seems very fake. You don't know what's going on in real life though, a friend of mine had a fantasy Facebook life. Everything was perfect on sm and her life was enviable.

She rang me every night in tears about her dp who was emotionally abusing her. Her FB life made her feel better for a while.

Oh don't encourage the OP 🙄

She'll see it as justification of her bitterness

Jennybeans401 · 30/12/2022 22:43

@BagOfBollocks I'm just trying to point out the fact that a lot of sm is very fake. No one is going to put all the mundane, dull things on there.

BagOfBollocks · 30/12/2022 22:46

Jennybeans401 · 30/12/2022 22:43

@BagOfBollocks I'm just trying to point out the fact that a lot of sm is very fake. No one is going to put all the mundane, dull things on there.

That's true but someone always comes up with a story like that.

It's rare for people to point out on these threads that actually, there are plenty of people who have lovely relationships and lives, and their SM reflects that.

mincepiepie · 30/12/2022 22:47

It's not showing off because it's not real.

I think a lot of these instagrammers are living their lives for show. So their lifestyle is the Instagram lifestyle and it's common to document it in this way.

So every aspect of life become about "doing it for the 'gram" rather than the other way around. Everything is about creating content. Lots of it is mocked up and faked, not all real.

I think when you get that in your head it become more realistic. What she is doing is all for show.

It a carefully constructed reality. For entertainment

Just my opinion mind you!

Cleanthatup · 30/12/2022 22:47

I’ve felt this way recently with an influencer. Tbh I did get very jealous when I seen her designer gear, luxury holidays, nights out, seemingly perfect partner etc!!

I had to stop looking, it made me feel absolutely worthless and doubt ny own life. I’ve never felt like that before so it hit me hard. I just deleted the app… much better.!

2023yearofchange · 30/12/2022 23:10

Branleuse I mean chatting off sm!! Not necessarily meeting up - could be phoning or zoom calls. I found the interactions on sm itself to be quite shallow if that makes sense? I mean the odd message but nothing beats a real conversation imho.

DuplicateUserName · 30/12/2022 23:13

I think influencers are a different kettle of fish because the whole point of them, is to get as big a following as they can so I'd say all bets are off as to how truthful their content is.

But it's interesting if you read just the OP's posts, she's determined to believe that this woman is only out to belittle those who have less and to make them jealous.

I think that's some real paranoia there.

Bicurator · 30/12/2022 23:14

shesadramaqueen · 30/12/2022 21:40

@erikbloodaxe I enjoy the performance she puts on lol I quite like watch the blatant determination to rub my nose in her lavish lifestyle 🤣

This makes you sound paranoid

Bicurator · 30/12/2022 23:16

PinkBuffalo · 30/12/2022 21:56

I am not like you friend but I am a bit of a prolific poster on social media. I never used to be but then I ended up completely alone through bereavement and very often have days (like today) where I have not spoken to a single other person
I guess I am the sad person who use it to feel less lonely and I fully admit that

❤️❤️❤️ That is what social media is for, making people feel connected.

Rayn22 · 31/12/2022 10:17

I have a friend like that and I asked her why she does it. She said she uses it like that to record memories for when the kids grow up as she will forget otherwise it's a lazy way to do it but makes sense!

Seaweasel · 31/12/2022 10:39

Someone very close to me has a daily blog on social media with many followers. They do it because it adds structure to their day, helps them see the positive in tricky days/weeks, lets them share 'nice things' they do and thoughts and experiences and they enjoy journalling and sharing it. They enjoy the likes and the comments. That's it. No ulterior motive and I suspect that is the same for 99.9,% of people who do this.

jesseastmids · 31/12/2022 10:40

I don't get it ! It's just showing off but surely it makes people dislike them? Who wants their friends to dislike them ?

buckingmad · 31/12/2022 10:43

I’m too lazy to do a physical journal or photo album. My FB posts are like a diary for me and also a way of keeping my family who are all over the world up to date with my little girl in one place rather than individual texts!

If you don’t like her stories, put her on mute?

gemblondie · 31/12/2022 10:46

I think you're right OP, she's doing it because she's insecure and it adds something to her life that's missing.
Surely the 20th holiday of the year is probably a bit boring!? She must be going every few weeks? id start to wonder if she doesn't like being at home very much? Which I'd say is a shame!

My sister has recently become a social media addict. And I've noticed she has started to post in particular ways that gain more recognition and "likes", I know her so well and know that this is probably going to make her insecurities worse in the long run. The more you make a social media life, the more your real life goes into the shadows.