Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Flexible and made to last.

Meet the Other Phone.
Flexible and made to last.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
Chat

Join the discussion and chat with other Mumsnetters about everyday life, relationships and parenting.

Original poster

DRY JANUARY 2023! Been overindulging? Drinking crept up? Want to begin a healthy new you? This way please. All welcome!

992 replies

HPLikecraft · 28/12/2022 20:17

It’s that time of year again... the late Christmas present to our livers!
You may be thinking of doing Dry January to:

*detox a little after seasonal overindulgence, or
*help you cut down a bit generally, or
*help you start to get out of a harmful alcohol habit, or
*just be a bit healthier for a month...

It’s good for all of those things!

I find the MN DJ threads excellent for support, encouragement, sharing info, ‘we’re in this together’ camaraderie, suggestions for grown up drinks, aversion techniques and just fun.

This is my sixth year of DJ and I swear it may have saved my life; it was so hard first time, but having succeeded I did dry June and October after that, and do so most years. It has broken my habit, banished much of the craving and reset my relationship with booze. I imagine it's added years to my life.

I won’t be finding DJ too difficult this year, but some will. Hopefully this thread will help.

Throw your hat in the ring, pull up a chair and let's do this together. Everyone welcome 🙂☕️🧃

The DJ2022 Wagon creaks to a start in just 4 days, but always stops for latecomers 🙂

OP posts:
Thread gallery
5
lemonsaretheonlyfruit · 10/01/2023 10:32

I totally agree @MeinKraft

I also grew up like this around my DF.
I think a lot about my kids too. I want to pick up my teen DD on Friday night from a friend's house and the mum came to the door and had obviously had a few drinks. Nothing wrong with that but I could smell the wine really strongly. It just made me think about how I must have smelt like that In front of the DC. Also when my friend came over and had a bottle, the living room really smelt of wine after she left.

All I could think was how it smelt and how my DC must have got used to that over the years.

Fundays12 · 10/01/2023 10:33

MeinKraft · 10/01/2023 10:13

I think of it in terms of what it's like for my children to live with drinkers - the empty bottles, the unpredictability, the low motivation, the smell of someone who's been drinking the night before. Money that could be spent on things for all of us pissed down the toilet. It's how I grew up and it's not good enough, my kids deserve better than that.

Show quote history

Totally agree this is how I grew up as my dad was an alcoholic and drunk himself to death at 53. Thankfully my mum wasnt a drinker so I had one stable parent and we were fine for money as mum had a good job.

Fundays12 · 10/01/2023 10:39

Well done everyone. My kids are home today as the school staff are striking. DC1 was being incredibly challenging behaviour wise and very aggressive and abusive again. I am mentally exhausted with him. I wish there was light at the end of the tunnel but he seems to get more difficult as he gets older. His PA is taking him out today for a couple of hours so me and the other dcs can relax while he is gone. The middle DC is at a birthday party just now so will be quite happy when he gets home. I have plans tonight to finish waxing a unit I have painted and strip the livingroom wallpaper as I am repainting it this week.

Interested in this thread?

Then you might like threads about this subject:

General food
MeinKraft · 10/01/2023 10:42

lemonsaretheonlyfruit · 10/01/2023 10:32

I totally agree @MeinKraft

I also grew up like this around my DF.
I think a lot about my kids too. I want to pick up my teen DD on Friday night from a friend's house and the mum came to the door and had obviously had a few drinks. Nothing wrong with that but I could smell the wine really strongly. It just made me think about how I must have smelt like that In front of the DC. Also when my friend came over and had a bottle, the living room really smelt of wine after she left.

All I could think was how it smelt and how my DC must have got used to that over the years.

The smell is a visceral thing isn't it! An imprint from childhood. What I've noticed with DH is that if he's going through a period of heavy drinking like over Christmas for example, if he even has one pint he instantly reeks of drink. So I think the more you drink long term the more you smell of it eventually. Can't test this theory on myself because I can't smell myself 😅

MeinKraft · 10/01/2023 10:44

@Fundays12 sorry about your dad. Mine was an alcoholic too and died in his 40s (in an accident) his drinking was so destructive. I think this DJ is important to prove to ourselves that we aren't like them.

freshstart2023 · 10/01/2023 10:50

MeinKraft · 10/01/2023 10:13

I think of it in terms of what it's like for my children to live with drinkers - the empty bottles, the unpredictability, the low motivation, the smell of someone who's been drinking the night before. Money that could be spent on things for all of us pissed down the toilet. It's how I grew up and it's not good enough, my kids deserve better than that.

Show quote history

Thank you @MeinKraft - that is so important to me too. I want my DC to have the childhood they deserve, not a heavy drinking mum who is hungover all the time.

The negatives of drinking really do outweigh the positives massively don't they?

lemonsaretheonlyfruit · 10/01/2023 11:01

@MeinKraft @Fundays12

Re the smell. My DD came and got into bed with me the other morning and before I would have rushed off to clean my teeth just in case but that didn't enter my mind. We just hung out together for half an hour. It had become such a way of life (the morning shame, regret, feeling shit) that it's so noticeable and lovely when it's not there.

Most of my teen memories are of my dad smelling of gin, mixing orange juice in the morning with gin (I tried it a few times by mistake) , falling asleep every afternoon after he lost his job and drink driving. Thankfully I have never got that far!

freshstart2023 · 10/01/2023 11:18

What I don't understand is, why do we continue to drink (or crave a drink) when we know the negatives vastly outweigh the positives?

buzzofthebumblebee · 10/01/2023 11:20

Incredible why we drink at all when you put it like that @freshstart2023 & @MeinKraft . I'm definitely feeling clearer headed now. Body beginning to feel more human, with me in control of it too. As an all-or-nothing person I never know how to drink mindfully. Food for thought ...

@Sunshineesther - reading back over your post a few times (as it was all so familiar!!) the key things that jumped out were your self-awareness which is amazing, but also "something minor upset me". Alcohol & food both my go-to when I am struggling with bad feelings. Or desperately needing a reward / comfort (when I don't get it elsewhere). I know you know the over-eating was a blip, it made you feel rubbish, it wasn't alcohol, and you won't be doing it again in a hurry. So all in all no damage, just frustration with your self. All I want to say really is that I totally get it !!

Sorry to hear about the insomnia @Findyourneutralspace . So frustrating. Presume you've tried all the non-alcohol tricks - exercise, listening to rainforest, reading, etc etc. Do keep strong and see how you go & whether you can find a way without need for alcohol.

Have a good day everyone!

lemonsaretheonlyfruit · 10/01/2023 11:20

@freshstart2023

Have you read Alcohol Explained? It's a really good and straightforward book that explains exactly that.

I might re read.

FlightDeckBuckarooo · 10/01/2023 11:43

lemonsaretheonlyfruit · 10/01/2023 11:20

@freshstart2023

Have you read Alcohol Explained? It's a really good and straightforward book that explains exactly that.

I might re read.

Alcohol Lied to Me is also really good at getting across how the huge the amount of negatives are compared to any (perceived) positives.

Champagneforeveryone · 10/01/2023 11:49

Greatly · 10/01/2023 07:42

I hate those first few days when they are gone. Taking dd2 back tomorrow 😭 I forgot that taking them back after Christmas in their first year is the hardest. It's been lovely having her here, shes great company for me and for poor old dd3 who will be lonely when she's gone. I won't miss her bottle of rose sitting in the fridge mocking me though!

Show quote history

Oh god, I thought the first drop off in September was bad 😢

DS off tomorrow but on the train. He's got so much stuff that I can't feasibly see how he will carry it, but he is stubbornly refusing a lift <shrugs>

I was up early for a hospital appointment, bright eyed and bushy tailed once the sleeping tablet grogginess had worn off. Good news is I will not require surgery, bad news is I need to improve my overall fitness and strength in order to stave off any further issues <sigh>

FlightDeckBuckarooo · 10/01/2023 11:54

freshstart2023 · 10/01/2023 10:50

Thank you @MeinKraft - that is so important to me too. I want my DC to have the childhood they deserve, not a heavy drinking mum who is hungover all the time.

The negatives of drinking really do outweigh the positives massively don't they?

Show quote history

Totally agree with all this.
Thinking about my (primary aged) Dd is also what is making me think twice about my original plan of only drinking at the weekend.
Why should she be the one to have to put up with a hungover person who is too tired to do much on our days together? As I mum I should be saving my best for her, not giving her the negatives of me choosing to continue my bad habits, but only on a Friday and Saturday.
I’m increasingly coming to the conclusion that I should give up drinking altogether- or at least only drink occasionally.

FlightDeckBuckarooo · 10/01/2023 12:08

Also has anyone got any recommendations for free QuitLit style podcasts on Audible?

Fundays12 · 10/01/2023 12:40

MeinKraft · 10/01/2023 10:44

@Fundays12 sorry about your dad. Mine was an alcoholic too and died in his 40s (in an accident) his drinking was so destructive. I think this DJ is important to prove to ourselves that we aren't like them.

It is definitely. I know I have a fear of alcohol controlling me not me controlling my intake as I never want my kids to witness and go through what I did.

Wishmelucknow · 10/01/2023 12:56

Day 10 yay. Lasted until day 23 last year as got the worst trigeminal neuralgia for which I’ve been taking medicine ever since and helps me with sleep. Interesting discussions re children and the impact the drinking has on them. Must admit been more absent as a mother the past year due to getting really tired after a few glasses of wine and needing to get up the next morning. DH is a saint! Back to work … have a good day everyone!

Fuwari · 10/01/2023 13:01

My dad was an alcoholic but we never really saw it (or him!) as he'd come home for dinner after work, then straight to the pub, home after we were sleeping, then all day/evening weekends he'd be out drinking. It just made him absent the whole time. It was only as I got older, that I realised not all dads did that!

One thing I am coming to realise is that I felt I needed to drink so much to "cope" with life. But the less I'm drinking the better I am starting to cope with things. I thought I was at the stage that the amount I drank didn't really affect me, as I was so used to it. But I definitely now feel less stressed, anxious etc the more I cut down.

freshstart2023 · 10/01/2023 13:10

One thing I am coming to realise is that I felt I needed to drink so much to "cope" with life.

This is a huge factor for me too - sometimes life just feels so overwhelming and I want to escape. But you're right, it's much easier to cope with things when you don't have a hangover.

lemonsaretheonlyfruit · 10/01/2023 13:21

I totally agree. It's quite scary how much better everything is without the booze isn't it?

Stickywhitelovepiss · 10/01/2023 13:22

We all sound quite gloomy today - I know I am.

My parents were wine o' clockers and (in the case of my dad) stress drinker due to work pressures. Neither were alcoholics (though my Dad skirted close to the wind at times), but both dialled it back considerably in later years (my Dad is my Dry January buddy in real life).

I suppose I - like many people - am following suit now. It's all quite depressing, but I won't crack. Hopefully.

Stickywhitelovepiss · 10/01/2023 13:25

lemonsaretheonlyfruit · 10/01/2023 13:21

I totally agree. It's quite scary how much better everything is without the booze isn't it?

I don't think so, personally. I'm sleeping worse and otherwise not feeling any different physically, and certainly no less tired or any more energetic. And work is getting me down without any kind of release from it for the next 20 odd days...

Stubbornness will keep me going!

Mushroo · 10/01/2023 13:26

Does anyone else not feel that much better? I never drank Mon / Tues / Weds anyway but I feel knackered!

even at the weekend, I thought I’d be up nice and early but I slept in until 11am both days. I had zero energy.

it’s nice not being hungover, but I don’t seem to have gained any energy at all.

Stickywhitelovepiss · 10/01/2023 13:27

Mushroo · 10/01/2023 13:26

Does anyone else not feel that much better? I never drank Mon / Tues / Weds anyway but I feel knackered!

even at the weekend, I thought I’d be up nice and early but I slept in until 11am both days. I had zero energy.

it’s nice not being hungover, but I don’t seem to have gained any energy at all.

Me (cross posted!)

Mushroo · 10/01/2023 13:27

@Stickywhitelovepiss cross messaged! Glad it’s not just me… I’ll stick to it out of stubbornness but so far it’s made me realise I just need to avoid massive binges, I’m quite happy with my Friday / Saturday half a bottle.

freshstart2023 · 10/01/2023 13:28

Mushroo · 10/01/2023 13:26

Does anyone else not feel that much better? I never drank Mon / Tues / Weds anyway but I feel knackered!

even at the weekend, I thought I’d be up nice and early but I slept in until 11am both days. I had zero energy.

it’s nice not being hungover, but I don’t seem to have gained any energy at all.

I must admit I do feel much better physically and mentally, but I was drinking daily and consuming 70-90 units a week, so it's probably not a surprise. I still have the voice in my head that's begging for a drink though.