Is this do-able for London?

[WitheringTights000]

Hi all,

Just looking for some advice regarding living in London!

I live in the UK (not mainland UK) in quite a small and boring city.

I'm 30, single and want to move somewhere fun and lively! Everyone here is married and having kids....nothing wrong with that of course but I'm not at that stage!

My salary in London would be 45k. I would not be able to share a flat/house as have a bladder condition so it would not work for me. I would need to live alone.

Is it do-able on that salary? I hear conflicting reports. I would probably be able to bring some savings of just under/around 10k.... but im guessing that won't last long in London.

If London isn't do-able does anyone know of any lively/fun cities in the UK I could live in, also where I could get about by foot and not need a car!

Thank you in advance

Yes but she can’t afford a spacious London flat that’s my point! She’d have a bedroom in a house share. Not the same.

I know, that’s my point too! Thinking she’d be ok WFH in a house share is unrealistic.

Also most house/flat shares in London now don't have a shared living area. I read some statistics recently that horrified me. In order to make the most money, landlords are turning every room into a bedroom. I'll try to find the stats, but anyone looking for a room in shared accommodation in London is going to be lucky to find one with a living room. The thought of wfh and living ones entire home life in a bedroom is deeply depressing.

The thought of wfh and living ones entire home life in a bedroom is deeply depressing.

Isn’t it. Then there’s also the thing of needing Wi-Fi that can handle several people being on Zoom at once if needed.

@EmpressaurusOfCats - I have been to London quite a few times and it's never taken me over an hour to get anywhere

I always fly into either Gatwick or Heathrow and take the express to Victoria for example, there is a toilet on the train.

Anywhere I go to on the tube certainly doesn't take over an hour! A couple of stops only.

@AlltheFs - thank you for your post. Yea it's something I would deffo consider for one year at least to see if I wanted to do it in the longterm!

@saraclara - is there not an option for him to go into an office though?

@TheFlowersofRomance - office isn't really an option! My current company is hybrid but they got me to do a health assessment with a nurse through their medical insurer and i she said I should be working from home...everyone else has to go in so it gives you an idea that it's pretty bad!

I guess my main ways I was thinking of making friends is through a flatmate and also friends outside of work....apps/groups etc...

Haha why no dating for a while?! Is it awful in London?

@LaurieFairyCake - glad to hear you are having a great time

@saraclara - I've found some lovely flat shares. Just sharing with one other person. En-suite bedroom in a brand new flat with nice living room and kitchen. New build, 24 hour concierge and gym etc. that's the only type of place I would be living anyways, I wouldn't consider what you are describing!

@EmpressaurusOfCats - I would hope the wifi would be good, it's not a house share im looking at with multiple people, just one other person!

@WooWooWinnie - I don't know about other cities! I feel they would be the same as where I am from!

For those still awake....what's London like for dating?

Is it easy/hard/are most just wanting something casual?

You can definitely live well in London on that salary. I lived alone on far less. There is so much to do for cheap/free like comedy, art galleries, museum lates, free talks, cheap theatre (if you are young, last minute, or not bothered about the best seats) etc.

My experience of dating has generally been people wanting more longer term relationships. I weed out the one night stand types very quickly. It depends what apps you use, making your expectations clear, and picking up if they are just after a casual thing before you even meet. People I've met in person have all been interested in longer term relationships. I like dating in London. It's completely normal to do a work night for a couple of drinks so very easy to make your excuses if you're not interested.

@ChopSuey2 - that's great to hear!

That is good about dating! Most I met on apps here were just looking for casual which was kind of surprising as it's a much smaller city!

What dating apps for London did you mainly use?

OkCupid has tended to be the best. If you answer questions it does tend to match you with people you'll at least get on with. The highest matches include my ex (we're still friends) and lots of my friends 😂I've only met one person that I didn't have a great night with, even when I didn't feel a connection. Tinder has been ok but only when I've messaged for a while first. I've had a good time with people I've met but have met very few because lots are either wanting a ONS or someone to talk dirty with. Feeld is good if you're more alternative. Hinge is awful, it's not that they are overly sexual, I can't even describe why I hate it so much. Nobody is my type on hinge. Friends have had luck with bumble but I've not tried it.

@ChopSuey2 - thank you for your message. The only one I have tried is tinder and that was a disaster!

I do know one person who met his girlfriend on hinge.

I just wish money was no object and then wouldn't have to worry about whether I can finance London or not

LOL

Yet again back to this thread I made at the start of the year as still haven't made a decision,

Slight update, I have family who live in Toronto and they have always tried to encourage me to apply for a working visa to go live there. I applied last year then the website said I didn't upload a document etc and I missed the deadline....

Anyway, I decided i wasn't fussed, I love Toronto in the summer and going there on holiday, but winters can be brutal. They also only get 10 days annual leave plus public holidays which is rubbish!

But I am thinking maybe I should give it a go?

Does anyone have any experience of London and Toronto in terms of life there and could say which one is better?

Thanks in advance

I worked on and off in Toronto for a couple of years and loved it.

Friendly, welcoming, fantastic cafes, ‘open’ sort of vibe. Sort of old fashioned but with a young outlook. I found the deep cold and proper snow preferable to the cold grey drizzle of a London winter. Summers very hot and humid.

@DreamingOfAGreenChristmas -

Yes I am used to Toronto summers As I only visit family in the summertime. But I do struggle in the cold winters!

How did you find it for making friends?

Couldn't you do a flat share with an en suite?

@Unexpectedlysinglemum yea that is what I would be doing if I moved to London.

But I need to work fully remotely and it might be a bit grim just being in a bedroom 24/7 you know?

You'll have a great time dating in London, so many options and also what a fun way to discover the city. You could even tie that into your profile or ask guys to take you to their favourite place in the city - they love being able to impress! I think you'll have fun!

I do need to work from home so I think what i am worried about with London is I would need to live in a flatshare (with en-suite) .....which would mean me working from a bedroom 24/7 which would be depressing!

Toronto is a bit cheaper than London and also flat sharing less of a thing so I would be renting my own place! I would still need to WFH the entire time but at least would have the whole place to myself and wouldn't need to work from a bedroom

Back again as I just love to talk myself out of these things!

Is 30 coming 31 too old to move in with someone (as in a flatmate, would only be interested in en-suite) ....I sort of feel like I would be taking a step back ward?

Like is it childish at my age?

It's not ideal of course, but it's a necessity in central London for many in their early 30s.
Rents have shot up recently. My friend just moved out of his one bed flat for which he was paying £1400 (up from £1300 six months before) and his landlord was immediately able to re-let it for £1850. It's shocking.

@saraclara - oh gosh! That is shocking! I have seen some lovely flat shares which would suit me I've just been worried that I'm a little old for a flatshare, even in London!

I feel like I'm very far behind with everything 🥴

To put it in perspective, my friend was 36 when he left his flat share for his one bed flat. His other sharers were a similar age. You won't be the only 31 year old sharer on the block by a long way.

While it doesn't seem a good way to live, it's increasingly the only way if you want to live and work in central London.

Go to Edinburgh or Toronto.

@saraclara - thank u for your advice. My main priority is finding somewhere sociable as I live in such a small place and everyone is married already etc!

@SaxSick - thanks for your post! Why Edinburgh? I really love Toronto for going there during the summer etc! But I'm just not sure on living there...my family are a lot older, so I don't have like family my age to hang with! I would be worried that it would be hard to meet people as I've heard it's very hard to make friends there. The North American work culture is also pretty tough!

I tie myself up in knots over things like this and always worry about making 'the wrong decision' ....and then end up doing nothing because I cannot decide lol

Well the good thing about renting is that it doesn't tie you down too much! You can give it 12 months and if it's not working, then you can walk away.

But yep, in London I'd only suggest a house share with an en suite and a proper living room, given your physical needs and that you want an instant social life. And if you can't find that, I'd look for a one bed flat in one of the other big cities like Leeds or Manchester.