Is this do-able for London?

[WitheringTights000]

Hi all,

Just looking for some advice regarding living in London!

I live in the UK (not mainland UK) in quite a small and boring city.

I'm 30, single and want to move somewhere fun and lively! Everyone here is married and having kids....nothing wrong with that of course but I'm not at that stage!

My salary in London would be 45k. I would not be able to share a flat/house as have a bladder condition so it would not work for me. I would need to live alone.

Is it do-able on that salary? I hear conflicting reports. I would probably be able to bring some savings of just under/around 10k.... but im guessing that won't last long in London.

If London isn't do-able does anyone know of any lively/fun cities in the UK I could live in, also where I could get about by foot and not need a car!

Thank you in advance

Look south of the river and you can easily find a flat for around £1,200 p/m. My tenants pay that for a lovely Victorian 2 bed flat within a 10 minute walk to Lewisham station.

@roselune - many thanks.

One of the main reasons I would be looking to move to London is definitely social scene/fun/going out lots etc...so the lonely comments worry me a little.

Could anyone offer insight into what ways London is lonely? I wouldn't want to move on a whim then find it really tough to make mates.

I haven’t read the full thread so apologies if someone has already suggested this, but have you thought about an en-suite in a shared flat/ house. I live in London and share with a flatmate but we both have our own bathrooms, and I’ve prioritised that in my last few houses.

I think it is doable to live on our own on £45k, but would mean compromising a lot on socialising, location and quality. I earn £10k more at £55k and have chosen to prioritise having more disposal income/ the location (social scene, proximity to the tube, near friends etc.) over living on my own. If you’re starting from scratch when building a life in London I don’t think you’d want to be too far. From the experience of friends who have moved out it can be difficult to enjoy all that London has to offer when you’re stressing about last trains etc!

Apologies if an en-suite wouldn’t work for you or you’ve already considered it, but just wanted to throw that out there in case you hadn’t!

I think the ‘London is lonely’ point is interesting because any new city is going to be to start with, unless you’re moving somewhere where you have an existing friendship or family base. In my experience, London has better infrastructure for combatting some of this. There’s tones of different options for joining groups, and because a lot of people don’t have ready made friendship groups people are generally more open to meeting new people. You do have to be open to putting yourself out there.

I went to Newcastle for a while for uni and I loved it...had to leave due to health problems! But everyone I know who has ever lived there has only gone for uni and then moved on. I would worry it would mainly all be locals, so people wouldn't be interested in making Friends etc.

A lot of the people I know who went to university in Newcastle have stayed in the area.

If you are worried about being lonely I really would look into renting in a flat share.. not a men behaving badly type one.. there are new build apartment blocks set up for rental only, specially designed for professionals where you would often get an en-suite room in a two bed apartment. I know a couple of people who rent such properties in the Olympic park. But I guess they are all over London.

A housing company owns the building and it's them I pay rent and service charge to, then they do building maintenance and so on.

I would go for London given your job and the fact that there is scope for you to earn more

but it may well be a studio in east London (docklands) or eg Lewisham side - still very close to central and you can get an Uber if coming home late. You don’t want to live in the suburbs though as Ubers would be really expensive if you miss last train

alternatively research co-living /the collection - it’s a great phenomenon for London living and is for young professionals exactly like you

London isn’t a particularly lonely place. Yes you will need to put yourself out there and there will be a transitional period but it’s full of people who have moved there without connections who then build lives - will also be easier if you are working in London. I work in a massive company that is full of people moving from other countries/uk cities alone to build their careers and lives here and they all seem happy. My dH also moved from Scotland ten years ago and now has loads of friends and of course our family in London.

London is set up to meet people.

yes you will need to budget but it is doable and will get better as your career progresses

You're only 30. House share is the best bet.
Somewhere with en suite. That will give you a social life.

You'll meet people at work but chances are they live an hour's travel away from you so you probably wont meet up at weekends.

You have to put in effort to make friends. Its so vast and spread out

I’ve lived in London for ten years. Notting Hill/Shepherd’s Bush to be precise.

I had a break from renting there and have been unable to get back on the rental market. I was on 50k. I’ve now moved out of London and the rental market is almost the only thing stopping me returning.

I’ve looked in plenty of areas but the prices are far higher than they ever were pre covid (not blaming covid just date wise). Flats are going so fast, people are bidding on rentals and I was told one flat had 30 viewings on day one.

Id struggle unless you can get your rent low enough, as the cost of living is also so high now!

London I found hard to make friends tbh. I’ve been there 10 years!

I had a bunch of friends already there from Dublin who I knew tears so had them there already so maybe my need to make new friends wasn’t as urgent as had a bit of a crew already

Most of the new friends I’ve made are from various jobs I’ve had and that was from being in the office - not sure you’d meet as many people if you are permanently remote working

how are you hoping to meet people if you do move?

l lived in a house share with my partner until we were almost 30 paying bloody 950 a month - finally moved out and then paid 1400 for a 1 bed (eeeep we’ve since bought a place and I can only imagine that rent is even more now than it was a few years back

i got much better jobs over the years and now earn waaaaaay more than when I started out so job wise things have been great for me in London

London is massive so I find sometimes you might have a friend there but they could live 90mins away from you so it’s not always easy to meet up

Cardiff, Bristol, Manchester would all fit the bill.

Glasgow, flat share with an en-suite. Friendliest city in the world.

OP
I was born and raised here so have no experience of trying to make friends (until post lockdown), and I'm now 46 and only looked at local stuff so a very different experience than what you'd have.

my older sister is still very active on a social circuit that revolves round bars and restaurants and for her, the occasional club night - it certainly all seems very much there for people who want it.

I've never found London unfriendly, lived in five different boroughs and known my neighbours to say hello to and sometimes go to the pub with.

I rarely go "out out" but the last time I did, round mid October, other people in the bar were chatting to us.

A lot of people you meet out and about are coming in from outer zones.

if you work for an investment bank, they will hopefully still have regular drinks, or did lockdown kill that off? Most people I know still have days in the office.

if you look on meetup, there's dizzying numbers of events in London where you can go and meet people.

Sorry - to complete, hope that answers your questions to me - I do want to leave but I've definitely had fab times living here and very glad I grew up and was a young adult here, at what seems like the height of raves and dance clubs!

I have lived in London on a lot less. It may not be great living conditions. But being in London beats all that! Personally I wouldnt live in most of the other places PP recommend, London is the best

I live centrally (zone 1). Your budget would be tight for my neighbourhood unless you shared a flat. Howeever, ensuite rooms are very available round here as it's full of two bed two bath flats. Renting a whole flat is crazy competitive and I don't know how easy it is to get into a flat share.

Most of my younger colleagues (I'm mid 40s) flat share until they move in with their SO. I'm a bit of an oddity in that I live alone.

I love living centrally - I walk loads of places including work.

You have to try a bit to make friends - join things/ adopt new colleagues to turn them from acquaintances to friends.

Most of my friends are from work and my network has got bigger as people have introduced their friends. I love the fact that people I've introduced now go off and do stuff independently of me but if you make friends who silo acquaintances that won't happen.

You're better house sharing finding a decent sized flat for less than £1.8k is rare.

Many landlords are asking for 6months-1year rent up front as well as over bidding.

London can be lonely it's a fast paced city people tend to work long hours, and from my experience it's hard to make friends at work because people are so drained with working. Also people have always got something to do therefore they don't really have the time to make new friends. It can be lonely and I would recommend considering another city.

I've lived in central London (zone 1) for 20 years. DH used to rent a flat share with an ensuite room and they are pretty common around here. He was flat sharing until we bought our current flat when we were 33, and it definitely wouldn't be unusual to be flat sharing in your 30s around here, even for professionals on high (£100k+) salaries. It's just as much for the social aspect as anything else. But I know that rental prices have gone up significantly in London recently so no idea what areas your budget would stretch to now.

I would definitely encourage you to live as centrally as you can find, even if you have to compromise with flat sharing/less nicer properties. It's just that much harder to get around from the outer zones, and often entirely reliant on a single station, and harder to get to other areas of London except central. You won't get the full benefit of London living if you're spending a long time travelling in/out or worrying about getting the last train home.

My tip for making friends would be to take up some creative hobbies or sports that need interaction - you can find almost anything here. And start off accepting any social invitation you can, even if it doesn't particularly interest you.

My DSis works in HR here and I agree with pp that you should expect to increase your salary significantly. You can speed it up by job-hopping every 1-2 years, aiming to increase your salary each time.

@WitheringTights000 Do you have IC? I used to have it but have found things that work and help a lot. At its worst I was almost housebound and needed the loo every 30 mins. I had to give up my work and do similar work but from home, self employed.

I am wondering how your condition would impact on the social life you want if you can't work in the office because of your bladder issues.

It depends how much you need to loo.

If you live in London, you would probably be travelling in and out by tube or bus, with the time on a tube or bus being up to 30 minutes, and there aren't always loos at tube stations.

As for sharing a flat and bathrooms, you could keep some kind of 'potty' in your bedroom and use that during the night.

If you need to work from home all of the time, it will affect how much you see people and you will rely solely on getting out and about in the evenings or at weekends, to make friends.

What kind of hobbies do you have and how would you expect to create a new social circle?

Look at Glasgow, Liverpool, Newcastle, Leeds, Cardiff or Manchester for a much cheaper big city experience.

unless you work in a sector full of 20-somethings you’ll need to make an effort to find friends wherever you go - what hobbies/interests do you have?

Living in Shoreditch is not that different from living in central london!

I live in London, though a lot older than you. From what you describe I would suggest other cities especially Manchester would be better on the income you are expecting.

So you know there are 6 zones in London. Most people don't live in 1.
2 or 3 are perfectly easy to get into town from.
London is very sociable.
But if you don't know anyone here, you will obviously need to make an effort to get to know people through work, clubs & activities.
Check out the local Facebook pages and community forums to get a feel for specific areas.

I chose it because it is a very lively area, lots of clubs, bars etc, which when I go through seem to be entirely populated by people under 40!