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How would you feel if your dh wanted your 8 year old to do kick boxing

55 replies

Foxytail · 28/12/2022 12:13

I’m not keen

OP posts:
Onnabugeisha · 28/12/2022 12:37

I’d rather he start with a more formal martial art than kickboxing. Only because the options are more varied and there is a discipline aspect to learning them.

Have a look at what is available locally and then see if any interest your DS. Some forms like karate are open hand, others like aikido will include weapons training, something like kendo or fencing is just sword training.

GiltEdges · 28/12/2022 12:37

I’d think it was great. I started kickboxing with encouragement from my Ddad at a similar age and had all of my belts by 12/13ish. It’s something I always regret not keeping up as an adult as it teaches amazing discipline and self control, as well as being a fantastic outlet for burning off excess energy.

What exactly do you have against it?

Gizlotsmum · 28/12/2022 12:40

My son does kick boxing, he’s not sparring yet ( and doesn’t ever need to if he doesn’t want too) it is a really good way of exercising, he’s made friends and he has learnt to control his emotions. He is 11 now and a brown belt. If you find a good club it is really enjoyable

Foxytail · 28/12/2022 12:40

Just don’t like any kind of physical violence what so ever

also would it eventually lead to sparing

OP posts:
SamphirethePogoingStickerist · 28/12/2022 12:42

Not necessarily. There are all sorts of variations within most clubs.

I was a kickboxercise instructor, for example. We trained with pads and gloves, never sparred.

albapunk · 28/12/2022 12:42

Foxytail · 28/12/2022 12:40

Just don’t like any kind of physical violence what so ever

also would it eventually lead to sparing

A good martial arts instructor and club doesnt promote violence, they promote control and self-defence. Sparring is a test of that control, the skills they have learned, respect for the other participant and using only enough force and power necessary for building those skills. Sparring isn't about actually hurting each other.

YellowHpok · 28/12/2022 12:43

Sparring is brilliant though! It is such a disciplined sport. Zero tolerance for any nonsense at the club I attend. Sparring has to be done with full head gear and only at about 50% of the force you'd use otherwise.

Maybe have a look at what clubs are available locally and have a chat with them.

thelobsterquadrille · 28/12/2022 12:44

As long as my DC was interested, I'd be fully supportive of it.

user143677433 · 28/12/2022 12:44

Foxytail · 28/12/2022 12:40

Just don’t like any kind of physical violence what so ever

also would it eventually lead to sparing

Is the request coming from your DC or from DH?

Would you be more comfortable with something else in a similar vein. DS does judo and there is absolutely no “violence” of any type.

CoffeeWithCheese · 28/12/2022 12:47

Mine do it - aged 9 and 10 (both girls incidentally and it's a woman who owns the club) - they go to an age 8+ family friendly class.

It's really benefitted calming DD1 down with her ADHD and struggles to regulate emotions, and they're all booming bonkers and end up howling with laughter most days. They don't do spa-ing - they do pad work and that's as far as it goes - apart from at the end of terms where they do daft games like trying to get hankies shoved into waistbands of shorts and stuff which can get a bit brawl (mainly my two against each other to be fair).

Huge focus is on fitness, flexibility and mindfulness rather than the actual kicking and boxing - although some of the women do have a mean hook on them - DH gets suckered into pad holding sometimes!

We didn't quite get on with karate - it was dominated by some pushy parents round here and the kids didn't cope with the long waits to work with an adult and just started arsing about - this is much quicker paced so works better for them (and the cafe next door does a corking breakfast while I'm on parental taxi duty!)

Kanaloa · 28/12/2022 12:48

Well my son has done karate since really small - initially DH took him along and now he competes and is really into it. My middle two weren’t keen but now my youngest daughter has started as well and just got her red belt!

If you’re worried about violence etc I can’t speak to kick boxing but at my kids’ dojo any violence or bullying would be taken a very dim view of. Respect and careful sparring are really drummed in, and they’re always taught that in real life the best fight is one you avoided altogether, and that karate is a sport and not a weapon. It isn’t like an episode of Cobra Kai where they all practice their karate to further their bullying after school!

Hopeyoursproutsarealreadyon · 28/12/2022 12:48

Sparing and boxing takes skill. And restraint. It doesn't lead to playground /pub brawls op. You are way over thinking op.

Kanaloa · 28/12/2022 12:49

Also fab for fitness and mental health - I’ve always tried to encourage any sports or activities my kids wanted to do, even when we didn’t have much money. Too many kids that we know spend a majority of their time indoors alone glued to the PlayStation or whatever, and I don’t think it’s any good compared to out enjoying activities with great role models and peers.

Weepachu · 28/12/2022 12:51

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Campervangirl · 28/12/2022 12:51

Dss is an amateur boxer, started young, late teens now.
It's been a great experience for him, he's had some boxing matches and done well.
His club has instilled discipline in him, it's a sport, he's not a thug, never been in a fight outside the ring, he will walk away from trouble, he knows he could hurt someone.
His friends are out drinking and clubbing, he prefers not to as he takes his fitness seriously.
Plus there are as many girls as boys in his club.

notacooldad · 28/12/2022 12:52

I was at my fittest during my kick boxing years (37 to 48) My kids went for a few years from the ages of 9 and 6 but it wasn’t the sport for them.
If I was in your shoes I would let him have a go.
i am-a huge believer of a sport (any accessible sport really) being great for kids as long as they enjoy,it as it provides a certain amount of discipline and pride and being part of a community. My kids later found a sport they did like and stuck with it.
I loved kickboxing and made a best friend for life through it.

Onnabugeisha · 28/12/2022 12:53

Foxytail · 28/12/2022 12:40

Just don’t like any kind of physical violence what so ever

also would it eventually lead to sparing

Hmmmm. In that case, I’d recommend a martial art that is about self-defence like Aikido.

Aikido is the way of harmony in which you take an attackers energy and redirect it to defuse their attack. The katas involve protecting your attacker as well…so you’d spin them but protect their elbow from being broken, or you’d throw them but also protect their head from hitting the ground. You might do a clothesline move to knock them, but you’re trained to hit collar bones and not the throat. How to break a choke hold and wrestle & pin someone without injuring them. It’s also perfect for smaller person defending against a larger & stronger attacker.

It includes weapons training so you can disarm someone attacking you with a knife or gun or stick/staff or even a sword.

It’s very effective, but also very anti-violence. There is no ‘sparring’ as it is all two partners and one is the attacker, the other the defender. So it’s all about learning how to defend yourself. For black belt you get attacked by five black belts at once…pretty fun. There is no winner or loser.

Galvantula · 28/12/2022 12:56

It would depend on whether the 8yo wanted to do it really. 🤷‍♀️

SamphirethePogoingStickerist · 28/12/2022 13:03

Onnabugeisha · 28/12/2022 12:53

Hmmmm. In that case, I’d recommend a martial art that is about self-defence like Aikido.

Aikido is the way of harmony in which you take an attackers energy and redirect it to defuse their attack. The katas involve protecting your attacker as well…so you’d spin them but protect their elbow from being broken, or you’d throw them but also protect their head from hitting the ground. You might do a clothesline move to knock them, but you’re trained to hit collar bones and not the throat. How to break a choke hold and wrestle & pin someone without injuring them. It’s also perfect for smaller person defending against a larger & stronger attacker.

It includes weapons training so you can disarm someone attacking you with a knife or gun or stick/staff or even a sword.

It’s very effective, but also very anti-violence. There is no ‘sparring’ as it is all two partners and one is the attacker, the other the defender. So it’s all about learning how to defend yourself. For black belt you get attacked by five black belts at once…pretty fun. There is no winner or loser.

No. It really doesn't. Well, not outside daft films it doesn't. Only fools try to disarm someone in real life. Most martial arts, if/ when they ever touch upon self defence, suggest leaving the scene as fast as possible. What you describe is self discipline and coordination of movement, multiple areas of mental focus. Not a real attempt to teach kids how to disarm assailants.

Strawblue · 28/12/2022 13:05

DS(7) has been going to an MA academy that is a blend of kickboxing predominantly along with other MA disciplines for around 18 months, and learning to spar for nearly 6 months (have to reach purple belt and age 7 before this is permitted).

MA have always been seen as great for learning self-discipline and control, confidence, fitness and self-defence etc. Find a reputable company or two and ask for a trial session and then you also stay to watch and see how it is run. It is not about aggression or beating the crap out of your opponent at all.

RocketIceLollie · 28/12/2022 13:13

A couple of years ago I'd be horrified at the thought of my son doing anything like that but in this day and age unfortunately I think it might be wise for my son to learn some sort of self defence art.

Onnabugeisha · 28/12/2022 13:18

SamphirethePogoingStickerist · 28/12/2022 13:03

No. It really doesn't. Well, not outside daft films it doesn't. Only fools try to disarm someone in real life. Most martial arts, if/ when they ever touch upon self defence, suggest leaving the scene as fast as possible. What you describe is self discipline and coordination of movement, multiple areas of mental focus. Not a real attempt to teach kids how to disarm assailants.

? I am 3rd Dan in Aikido. Are you literally mansplaining my martial art to me?
And no, a child wouldn’t be able to disarm anyone as it would take years to get to that level. You don’t even start weapons training until 4th kyu in many schools (start is 8th kyu). He’d be a teenager before getting to that skill level.

Onnabugeisha · 28/12/2022 13:32

Meh
heres an article on it that is not half bad. It’s a good martial art for beginners.
theselfdefenceexpert.com/aikido/

Itsthewhitehat · 28/12/2022 13:36

Foxytail · 28/12/2022 12:40

Just don’t like any kind of physical violence what so ever

also would it eventually lead to sparing

If your child does kick boxing ‘point’ fighting, the aim isn’t to inflict harm on someone. It’s not in continuous either.

But point fights are simply making contact. Though, obviously injury and accidents occur. But that happens in all sports.

SamphirethePogoingStickerist · 28/12/2022 13:41

Onnabugeisha · 28/12/2022 13:18

? I am 3rd Dan in Aikido. Are you literally mansplaining my martial art to me?
And no, a child wouldn’t be able to disarm anyone as it would take years to get to that level. You don’t even start weapons training until 4th kyu in many schools (start is 8th kyu). He’d be a teenager before getting to that skill level.

I'm suggesting that the manner in which you describe it suggests you either know nothing or choose to misrepresent it, glorifying in skills no kid is taught, that no sensible person would rely on outside books and films.

Only you know which is true.

Oh, and I am congenitally incapable of mansplaining anything.

Alternatively that's something else you are misrepresenting.