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Original poster

Anyone else get on well with their in laws?

62 replies

BarrelOfOtters · 28/12/2022 09:32

My dh has a good relationship with them which helps. They are a good laugh. Look after our dog a lot and house when we away. They are good with dh’s young adult kids and his ex…

I like it when they pop in…

OP posts:
soundsystem · 28/12/2022 12:21

Yep! Mine are both lovely people - have always welcomed me into their family and are wonderful grandparents to my kids.

That's not to say I don't sometimes find them odd/irritating (I'm sure the feeling is mutual but they're far too nice to say!) but the same can be said for my own parents.

SinnerBoy · 28/12/2022 12:42

YouremywifenowTubs

For 10 years in fact. Until I walked in on them unexpectedly one day and heard them describing me to a friend as the “fat, useless incredibly racist term for Indian person that dh married who they only tolerate to see the grandchildren.”

That's absolutely awful for you, you have my total sympathy. Does your husband know?

MrsMurphyIWish · 28/12/2022 12:43

Love my in-laws. Tbh, I don’t consider them “in-laws” as they are the family I never had. I’m very lucky.

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Families
C1N1C · 28/12/2022 12:44

No complaints here, they don't speak English :)

SinnerBoy · 28/12/2022 12:51

I get on well enough with most of my wife's family, apart from one sister. She's horrible and controlling. I'm basically NC now.

She's told a huge number of lies about me, is argumentative and aggressive towards me. She can't speak to me normally, she just has to know everything and try to portray me as an ignorant dunderhead. She twists my words, or pretends I've said something unbelieveable.

A mild example: when the London Olympics were on, we were at hers, with a lot of her friends. Someone mentioned Danny Boyle and I said, "I don't know who he is, I hadn't heard of him before." She bawled,

"What?! You've never seen Trainspotting? Ridiculous! I don't believe you!"

I said, "I didn't say I hadn't seen Trainspotting, which is by Irvine Welsh, by the way." She then started screaming that I was a fucking idiot, who's Irvine Welsh anyway and everyone knows it's Danny Boyle. Someone supported me and she googled it and said, "Oh, you're right."

I said, "Yes, I know." She went berserk again, shrieking "How could you possibly know that?!!"

All of those exchanges follow the same format, ridicule, lie, put words into my mouth, then make out I've gained knowledge by some sort of underhand means!

My wife's terrified of her.

CornishGem1975 · 28/12/2022 12:52

Yeah, they're fine. We're not particularly close but it's nice when we see each other and we text once or twice a week. It's an easy relationship.

Taytocrisps · 28/12/2022 12:54

I'm separated now but I was (and still am) very fond of my in-laws and buy them Christmas presents every year. FIL has a great sense of humour and MIL is a very kind, caring person who would give the shirt off her back to anyone who needed it. They're both fantastic grandparents who adore all of their grandchildren equally. Our relationship is a little strained because of the separation (Ex left me and now has a new partner) but I made it very clear to MIL early on that I would never let the separation impact their relationship with my DD and would never use DD as a weapon.

lurchermummy · 28/12/2022 17:06

Yea very well, they are lovely although MIL has quite a strong personality and likes things done "her" way. But she has a good heart and us kind so I don't mind. DH unfortunately doesn't get on with my Mum though and as she's my only living relative apart from some cousins I never see, that makes life quite trick at times.

forlornlorna1 · 28/12/2022 17:08

I've got the best mil. She's been the mother I never had. Absolutely adore her.

I'm a mil to a lovely dil and we have a good relationship too.

I consider myself lucky lol

catinboots123 · 28/12/2022 17:10

I adore mine. I spent Boxing Day with MIL and SIL.

STBHX wasn't invited.

Dartmoorcheffy · 28/12/2022 17:12

Mine are great. Get on brilliantly with all of them.

Ohnotheydidnt · 28/12/2022 17:13

My MIL and her husband (not FiL) are my favourite people!!

FIL once took me aside and said "how dare you take my boy away from me!" - we were only moving 200 miles! He's been nasty ever since. He hates me 😔

DarkKarmaIlama · 28/12/2022 17:16

Nice to hear these stories. I really tried with my MIL but she hates everyone including herself so you can’t get a look in. She’s incredibly miserable and lonely now in her old age.

I have sons and I hope to have warm relationships with any future daughter in law.

Southwestten · 28/12/2022 17:18

I adored my parents in law - they were amazing people and I miss them both terribly.
Neither MIL or my mother interfered with how we brought up the children but if they ever did make suggestions or offered an opinion I didn’t mind as it meant they cared about my children and wanted the best for them.

mondaytosunday · 28/12/2022 17:35

My husband loved my parents. We'd go stay with them (they lived half the year in Spain) every year it was fun, and when in this country they came for almost every Sunday lunch.
My in laws - his father lived quite far away but we made a big effort with his mother. She blew hot and cold though and had little interest in any grandkids. But I'd say yes we get on quite well - they hated my husband's ex. But we certainly don't have a close relationship.

AnnaMagnani · 28/12/2022 17:57

My DH has a great relationship with his in-laws!

Me - not so much Grin

However this is entirely due to the massive effort my DM has put into her relationship with DH, who is she always points out is her favourite son-in-law (he's the only son-in-law too...) She also doesn't meddle in our marriage and if he is annoying her, just accepts they are different.

Compared to my MIL who started out by expecting me to do a pile of wifework and getting upset when I wasn't thrilled about this. It's taken a long time to get to the relationship of tolerance we have now.

Doremisofarsogood · 28/12/2022 18:00

Yep, get on great with both mil and fil. They're much more fun and likeable than my own parents which is a shame really. DD adores my mil and they have a very close bond. They will look after DD anytime we ask (we don't ask often as we don't want to take the pee). In fact DH whole family is a lot more friendly and fun than some of mine! I feel very lucky.

lovemycbf · 28/12/2022 18:18

Nope we don't disagree as such but she's so completely uninterested in our children she often confuses them as she doesn't know which one is which
It's incredibly sad but she doesn't seem to care a jot

StripeyDeckchair · 28/12/2022 18:44

DH has a large, close extended family who we spend a lot of time with when we are in his country. His farther died when he was 20 so I've never known him, his mother is great fun and has more of a social life than anyone else I know.

When we lived there for 2 years when Dc 3&4 were young they were all so welcoming and included me in everything.

ExPIL & grandparents of the twins dropped all contact when we separated.
MIL was a total bitch & hated me, she was rude to my family, had ideas that were out of place a century ago never mind about now. She was very good at being nasty without anyone else hearing or seeing. Some of the things she orchestrated were beyond batshit.

Monica2507 · 28/12/2022 18:53

Yes. I'm closer to my in laws and see them more often than some of my own family. We go on holiday together and spend Christmas together, which I haven't done with my family in a long time. They still do the occasional annoying thing but nothing like what I read about in laws on here.

LadyGardenersQuestionTime · 28/12/2022 18:58

Very fond of my MIL (although glad I didn't meet her until I was grown up myself and able to stand my ground); we escape from the boys and go for jaunts out together. PIL has dementia but can still play cards like a pro and has a great sense of humour when he's in a good place.

PiddleOfPuppies · 28/12/2022 19:05

Yes, they are awesome. My MIL was an absolute star when I was suffering with PND - no judgement, just support. She had a terrible relationship with her own mother and MIL, and was determined not to repeat history. FIL was a lovely man who was generous with both time and money.

PiddleOfPuppies · 28/12/2022 19:07

PiddleOfPuppies · 28/12/2022 19:05

Yes, they are awesome. My MIL was an absolute star when I was suffering with PND - no judgement, just support. She had a terrible relationship with her own mother and MIL, and was determined not to repeat history. FIL was a lovely man who was generous with both time and money.

^FIL has dementia. He's still alive but not in the same way.

Draconis · 28/12/2022 19:08

Yes. Lovely people. Dh gets on well with his too Smile
It helps that no one is interfering, critical or crosses any line. Everyone treats each other as adults and with respect.

MrsH497 · 28/12/2022 19:12

Love my in laws genuinely. They get on well with my parents as well