How do you drown it all out?

[Heatherbell1978]

I've always been an anxious person; obsessive, perfectionist, overthinking tendencies-mostly it's not stopped me doing anything, if anything it's meant I've done very well in my career and live a nice life as I've planned it this way I guess. Have DH and 2 DC (5 and 8).

But I just can't drown out the noise, the shit that's going on in the world. I lie awake raging about the fact Putin invaded Ukraine or raging at Liz Truss for busting our economy or my parents voting for Brexit which will impact my kids (DH just been made redundant due to company folding because of Brexit which doesn't help). I know I can't control any of this but it all gives me such anxiety. I don't suffer fools gladly which is why I think my anger is directed at people. I over analyse why they have made the decisions they have and how dare they do that...
Part of me wants to live in a bubble where I can just go about my day not caring but then I don't understand people who do that, it makes me think they don't care? Although also envious they can switch off.

Anyway, looking for some advice as to how I can just switch it all off and focus on the things that matter in my life. Thanks

Is your anger a cover for something closer to home?

I find myself getting irritated at much smaller things, I make myself look at the bigger picture and if its something a family member or friend has done/said I remind myself Ive probably irritated them at some point!

Can you have total break from media? Im interested to see what others say.

I’ve just accepted there’s a lot of things I can’t change and now I focus on the things I can change.
I rarely listen to the news (I just read enough to know what’s going on). It doesn’t mean I don’t care, I do and I do have an opinion on things but there’s so much shit going on in my own life that uf I worried about what’s going on in the world I would lose mY mind (I’m already teetering on the brink as it is)

I distract myself a lot, arts and crafts, reading and walking.

I have terrible anxiety, on meds but night time is the worst. It’s horrible

I stopped watching the news, breakfast Tv and don't read newspapers. It's all gloom when there are plenty of good things also going on in the world. Me knowing about things doesn't stop them from happening so now I exist in more of a bubble.

Maybe you're suffering from an anxiety disorder, and some kind of targeted therapy like mindfulness (e.g. MBSR taught by a practitioner, not an internet article) or yoga, CBT, or medication would be helpful?

I'm the same; my life is ok although not without its difficulties, but if I let myself I get so angry about 'the world' = the things you have mentioned, as well as many other things; it's just not healthy. I try to keep informed but don't watch any news anymore or read papers... I realised (finally!) that I can't change anything by worrying. I also try to keep up with my art, yoga/meditation and make sure I walk the dog, and get out on my horse whenever I can. My horse is my greatest therapy, we just poddle along in the woods/fields/beach and life is good. Switching off is the main thing. When I can't sleep I use a meditation app that helps me drift off/calm my mind. Hope you're ok x

I mean this kindly - you need help x

What kind of help? I function well day to day, good job, friends, kids happy etc so I certainly wouldn't class myself as 'needing help' (which sounds quite derogatory) but if you have suggestions then great. I have taken anti-depressants in the past but genuinely find they make no difference to my busy mind.

I had a horse when I was in my teens; happy times indeed and if I had the time and money now I can see how that would be great therapy. I do yoga but not nearly enough other exercise.

Mindfulness and meditation. Not watching the news. Keep a gratitude journal.

I know it does but I really didn’t mean it that way. Talking therapy would be a good start for you I think.

I don’t think you’re ‘crazy’ I just think you could feel better and enjoy life more. CBT retrains your thoughts which I think you might benefit from 😊.

start with a call to the GP but if you can afford privately look for a local therapist today and tell them what you’ve written here.

our brain has the biggest job in our body and is responsible for everything but we have no tolerance for it when it’s not working properly - we associate that with shame which we do not do when other organs are not performing 100%. You sound like you may have anxiety, some OCD maybe intrusive thoughts, pent up resentment.

you don’t have to feel this way you just need to talk about it.

You are putting a lot of effort into this, can you refocus the effort and energy elsewhere?

Anger, blame and bitterness don't help you in life. Don't look back, you're not going that way.

Sure Liz Truss was a dick but someone else might think you or I are a dick because (eg) we are benefiting from institutional racism.

You can't fix all the worlds problems. Look at what you can do, and make little nudges in the best direction.

Meditation was a game changer for me. It allows you to have the thoughts but let them just pass. And I run which also helps with any anxiety.

But I don’t think you can change who you are. I think I’ll always get anxious and have those perfectionist tendencies.

Someone else in the thread mentioned getting help. Have you ever had any sort of therapy for anxiety or obsessive thoughts? Any assessments for ADHD or ASD etc? Not saying there has to be something like that going on but if there’s other things too, being a perfectionist, obsessiveness, anxiety and feeling like you can’t switch the noise in your head off are certainly things which are common in some neurodiverse people. And we’re realising girls/women with these issues often present differently to boys/men. Lots of women diagnosed with anxiety and OCD are found to have ASD. They often function well enough but are in a heightened state of anxiety etc. Obviously, there’s not much to go on here but it’s worth thinking about.

There is no perfect world. If it wasn't those things that keep you awake it would be other things. And it would be the same anywhere you lived, at any time in history.
In some places you'd be worrying about the poor rice harvest or that the cow is sick, in others it's about how the FTSE is doing, or whether the project to put a man on Mars will succeed.
Everyone has their worries, but if yours are overwhelming you, you need to get some help.

@Heatherbell1978 I could have written your post and I'm sorry I don't have any answers. I have been recommended to seek therapy too but it's not always that simple. I don't feel like I need help but as you say, I'd like the noise to stop a bit. I find increased exercise helps a bit.

OP I have very little money but manage my horse relatively cheaply, by renting a field where he and a mate live outside - the best way for the horse, too; I buy everything I need second-hand and have learnt about barefoot as opposed to shoeing (also better). Or could you ride someone else's? Many owners are looking for loan-shares, where you can ride for a share of the cost or work. It's how I got back into it after major trauma, many years ago x

The politicisation of everything won’t end any time soon. Group identities fighting it out for positions, just when you think it’s over something new will appear.

Turn off social media. It really is a sesspit.
Newspapers - restrict yourself to what you can handle, maybe the broadsheets.

TV - do away with live tv and the license fee - and stay with streaming services for entertainment. (Although that’s harder due to the social constructionists invading entertainment.)

Mumsnet is the only social media i think isn’t toxic, although it does have its moments. :)

It will be difficult to adjust, initially, then you just have to stay strong and not be tempted back on.

You need to have a licence to stream programmes now.

Not from paid services like Netflix, Prime. Only for iPlayer.

You need a license to watch live tv and watch iplayer.

If you just stream from netflix, etc, you dont.

I think it’s the volume, access and immediacy of all the negativity in the world that makes it so difficult to cope with .

i don’t think our brains can process the vast amounts of ‘news’ we are exposed to all the time. I suffer from ‘system overload’ if I try to absorb it all.

So I don’t - I don’t watch/listen to or read stressy stuff. I still know about it, partly because I am married to a news media addict so I can’t avoid it all.

Im so much happier since I realised it is not my duty and responsibility to watch the news/question time/any other stuff.

I'm sorry that you feel like this @Heatherbell1978

I think having less time to allow these intrusive thoughts to dominate your day, is the way to go. Your mind can only focus on one thing at once, it can't travel east & west at the same time, so give it a better, more positive focus.

My suggestions would be:

Stop watching/reading/listening to the news - we can't change the news but you can absolutely control what you take in. It sounds cheesy but this saying is true (I find): "where attention goes, your energy flows." Currently, yours is flowing towards the news, world events & politics. Find something else that draws your attention & electrifies you. Look at the horse riding options or find another interest that is consuming. I think anxiety can occur when we are overthinking or anticipating future events. Instead of overthinking, get up & out and do something active.

Meditate: allow the thoughts to swirl and then calm. The Braveway app gives 21 different meditations & is really calming (can recommend- how to de excite the nervous system).

Journalling: again to get your thoughts & worries down on paper, but also to make exciting plans & set yourself some great goals for the day, week, month & year.

Good luck OP.

I'm kind of the same. I get so wound up with it all, I have made the conscious decision to ignore everything and get on with my life as if nothing is wrong. I know it's ignorant, and it isnt because I don't care. I just don't think I could function well and would just always be so anxious if I kept ruminating on the state of everything at the mo. The state of the NHS worries me, that one is harder to ignore.

Thank you for all the thoughts; it's appreciated. I do consume a LOT of information. I am on social media but tbh more for light-hearted things like following celebs, fashion, house renovations etc. I post the odd picture of the kids. Twitter is maybe where I need to step back from as that can be full of hate. And news.

My perfect 'me' would be someone who runs regularly (I have in the past and enjoyed it once I was in the routine), reads books (again I used to consume them - before kids) and watches Netflix dramas rather than news - just things to switch off and zone out - but I'm struggling to get out of my rut where I work, sort kids and fall asleep by 9pm on sofa! And spend a lot of time on my phone inbetween. DH is great so no issues there, purely my own destructive mind and laziness (?) not allowing me to move forward.

Meditation sounds like something to try again - I have before but honestly my mind just doesn't switch off enough for things like this.

When it's politics or wars etc, chances are it's a combination of different factors and people.

Sometimes all we can do is hope for the best and appreciate life etc

Or if it's more personal issues, just go over the information each day and plot for the next day's information etc