How do you drown it all out?

[Heatherbell1978]

I've always been an anxious person; obsessive, perfectionist, overthinking tendencies-mostly it's not stopped me doing anything, if anything it's meant I've done very well in my career and live a nice life as I've planned it this way I guess. Have DH and 2 DC (5 and 8).

But I just can't drown out the noise, the shit that's going on in the world. I lie awake raging about the fact Putin invaded Ukraine or raging at Liz Truss for busting our economy or my parents voting for Brexit which will impact my kids (DH just been made redundant due to company folding because of Brexit which doesn't help). I know I can't control any of this but it all gives me such anxiety. I don't suffer fools gladly which is why I think my anger is directed at people. I over analyse why they have made the decisions they have and how dare they do that...
Part of me wants to live in a bubble where I can just go about my day not caring but then I don't understand people who do that, it makes me think they don't care? Although also envious they can switch off.

Anyway, looking for some advice as to how I can just switch it all off and focus on the things that matter in my life. Thanks

You could be describing me too, OP: anxious, perfectionist, overthinking.

I completely get why you'd hate it, and why others here say you may need help for a disorder. I've spent much of my life feeling the same way.

But there's another approach: see it all as a gift, a kind of superpower. What you describe means you have an active imagination and insights; you spot things others don't; you do things to a higher standard than most.

These are gifts, the sort of gifts that make somebody a good writer, counsellor, inventor, critic. It's not a comfortable place to be, but the negatives you describe have huge positives too. In my case, writing books and coming up with creative new strategic solutions at work. Sounds as if you have seen work and other benefits in your own life.

I suspect you wouldn't actually want to be the sort of person who doesn't care about issues and the state of the world. You wouldn't be you.

Sometimes I have to distract myself when the overthinking is too much (eg music, going for a walk, watching a film). But for me, the breakthrough was to see the way I am as a gift rather than something to be wished away.

The recent book Future Tense: Why Anxiety is Good for You (Even Though it Feels Bad) by Tracy Dennis-Tiwary is helpful. She's a professor of psychology and neuroscience.

This post resonates with me a lot.
It would be so nice to give less of a shit.
But I also think the world is a pretty unpleasant place right now.

Op

Remember that your phone and the apps on it have been designed to the nth degree. Everything about it is made to be frictionless, and the human ‘trigger (sit down on the couch) - action (pullout phone) reward (dopamine hit)’ process of habit formation has been ruthlessly exploited by tech designers. And unlike a book, it’s instant - no investment or back story required. Don’t berate yourself for laziness or lack of will power - it’s not that. You are obviously not a lazy person, if you are working, bringing up children etc.

you ask how to switch it off? One way is to literally switch it off. Build some friction into the way you use your phone. Switch off notifications. Delete apps that you want to spend less time on, so you have to log into the web version every time. Only have one charging point, far from where you relax.

For the obsessive / anxiety etc I’d recommend CBT therapy and reading about Stoicism.