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Original poster

Either a scam or an actual death of an old friend

36 replies

Wilff · 27/12/2022 00:25

Received a letter advising my ex fiance (30yrs ago) had died a few weeks ago & to contact them as I was a trustee on a life policy.

It's from an extremely well known reputable international company so should be straightforward to find out if its actually from them or not, once they reopen offices in New Year .
In the meantime there's nothing to be found on the Internet relating to this person in anyway at all.

The letter contained details such as our full names Inc middle names and my mother's address which I can't understand how would be known?

OP posts:
Mushroomlady · 27/12/2022 00:27

Sorry for your loss

Luredbyapomegranate · 27/12/2022 00:33

Sorry for your loss

It will be easy to figure out as you say

Changechangychange · 27/12/2022 00:40

Presumably they took the policy out when you intended to get married, and then never cancelled it. Doubt it will be worth much, but worth phoning up on Wednesday (using the number off the website, not the number on the letter).

lifeinthehills · 27/12/2022 00:45

I'd phone. Not everyone has a death notice published.

Pickle1512 · 27/12/2022 00:49

The details would be known as he gave them when he named you, so that you could be identified. Are you a trustee or a beneficiary? He has named you when he took it out over 30 years ago presumably, when you were together, and never updated it. If he has dependants now, and you are a beneficiary, the trustees may haves a duty to pay to the dependants. if you are a trustee, you will be administering.

Fleurdaisy · 27/12/2022 00:54

If your ex fiancé died in recent weeks nothing will show yet in online records.
Check the number you’ve been given against numbers shown online for the company. Also, how did the letter reach you after 30 years ( unless you still live in same house)

SoSweetAndSalty · 27/12/2022 01:07

I wouldn't assume that was a scam. It's a fairly common that people forget to update life policies. I'd double check the numbers and give them a call.

Original poster
Wilff · 27/12/2022 01:15

I've googled the tel number provided and it appears to be a sort of central number for a multitude of small intermediary financial businesses which could possibly be underwritten by this major organisation.
Rather than call the number on this letter, I will call the number for the major organisation from the legitimate main website.
Quite anxious now... ?!

OP posts:
CKL987 · 27/12/2022 02:03

If you are a trustee you would have filled something in when the policy was put into trust as trusteeship can't just be forced upon you. If you haven't moved in 30 years it would make sense but if you have then unless your ex updated your address with the insurer then it is odd.

Original poster
Wilff · 27/12/2022 02:41

What type of policy would have a trustee though?
(In the late 80s endowments linked to a mortgages were the thing. But that was cancelled when the property was sold. )

Wonder if current addresses can be found using electrol roll ?
Isn't there a possibility that client names,held on a database, could be obtained by third parties?

OP posts:
determinedtomakethiswork · 27/12/2022 02:56

I really hope this isn't a scam and can't really see how it could be.

sjpkgp1 · 27/12/2022 03:09

On balance, it sounds a bit too convoluted to be a scam. I think you are right to call the main organisation - if you are bit worried you can always ask for their fraud department and explain. Good luck, and sorry for your loss, it sounds unexpected, even after all of these years. x

SoSweetAndSalty · 27/12/2022 08:21

I don't think you need to be anxious about this. Just be wary when you call.

Pickle1512 · 27/12/2022 13:31

Many policies are written in trust, it’s very normal. I deal with life insurance policies for work and nothing you say says scam.

PlaitBilledDuckyPuss · 27/12/2022 13:36

Wilff · 27/12/2022 02:41

What type of policy would have a trustee though?
(In the late 80s endowments linked to a mortgages were the thing. But that was cancelled when the property was sold. )

Wonder if current addresses can be found using electrol roll ?
Isn't there a possibility that client names,held on a database, could be obtained by third parties?

Was the endowment policy definitely cancelled?

lljkk · 27/12/2022 14:13

it sounds legit. How would any scammer know who you were engaged to 30 years ago?

They can't be legit & ask you to pay out but they might have been paid fees out of your nominal fund to track you down.

TribeD · 27/12/2022 16:34

SoSweetAndSalty · 27/12/2022 01:07

I wouldn't assume that was a scam. It's a fairly common that people forget to update life policies. I'd double check the numbers and give them a call.

When we moved house DH found his old building society account book. His account had sat dormant for about 30 years; It's a fairly regular occurrence for people to find details of accounts which are decades old.

I'd agree it's unlikely to be a scam, given the amount of detail, but do be careful when contacting them.

Original poster
Wilff · 28/12/2022 19:26

As i received such kind responses i thought it might be interest to add a brief update from today.
Rang the 'well known company ' & it does sadly seem genuine. They still did not specifically confirm but the policy is a pension and they're posting further paperwork.
:-(

Any suggestions how long it might take to appear online public register of Births Deaths and Marriages?

OP posts:
TribeD · 28/12/2022 22:18

It must be quite a strange situation to be in. I can imagine it may have stirred up some emotions within you.

I'm glad it's not a scam, but obviously there's an element of sadness and I hope you are doing okay.

CherrySocks · 28/12/2022 22:44

It doesn't sound like a scam because surely it's about you receiving money.

Greatly · 28/12/2022 22:49

I'm sorry for your loss. What an uncomfortable situation for you.

Original poster
Wilff · 29/12/2022 00:00

The kindness and empathy in all your responses is making me feel so grateful.
It absolutely is an emotional roller coaster at the moment however I have only confided in 1 person about it.

I'm still holding on to the chance that he's alive.
He has a daughter who will be approx 14yrs and the additional extreme sadness &dread that she will have lost her dad at 56yrs is awful.
If there should be some money coming in my direction I won't feel its right to keep it. It will be a very small amount in any case, but I think the way I could show my respect to him, would be to pass it to his daughter.

It's the not knowing that I am struggling with

Xx

OP posts:
PriamFarrl · 29/12/2022 00:03

Did you maintain contact with any of his family?
I can imagine how you are feeling. It’s a very odd emotion when something happens to someone who was once a significant part of our lives.

Original poster
Wilff · 29/12/2022 00:05

This is a bizarre coincidence!!
I set up my Mumsnet account BEFORE I knew anything about this situation..

How weird that whilst trying to think of a Username, the one that came to mind ,which I have used "Wilf" is genuinely and truthfully the nickname he had for me.

Noone else has ever called me this and I've never used it or spoken it since we broke up almost 28yrs ago..

How weird

OP posts:
NeverDropYourMooncup · 29/12/2022 00:09

It's possible that he named you at the time as next of kin, didn't update a beneficiary with the provider or leave a will and they are now considering who to give the pension monies to (it's their decision). You can say that you feel it should go to his daughter and they will make a decision taking the opinions of others they have contacted such as a current partner/mother of his child into account. They will not update you after you receive the letter confirming his name and the amount of the pension fund.