Either a scam or an actual death of an old friend

[Wilff]

Received a letter advising my ex fiance (30yrs ago) had died a few weeks ago & to contact them as I was a trustee on a life policy.

It's from an extremely well known reputable international company so should be straightforward to find out if its actually from them or not, once they reopen offices in New Year .
In the meantime there's nothing to be found on the Internet relating to this person in anyway at all.

The letter contained details such as our full names Inc middle names and my mother's address which I can't understand how would be known?

I am sorry for your loss OP, it must feel very unsettling

They still live in the same house as when I used to go there BUT I cannot possibly approach whilst not knowing.
There's that chance that the information could be incorrect.

It's hardly "her loss" when she hasn't been with him for decades. Come on!

I think your lost empathy is somewhere over there >>>>>>>>

It's still a loss, they were clearly close at one point.

I've been sad when people I used to know have died, just because I have not seen them in years. Sure its not the sharp unbearable pain of someone close dying, but it's still a loss.

I don't think that honours or respects him, he wanted the money to go to you. Otherwise he'd have cancelled or changed it.

@WomanhoodIsABirthright Or he could have just forgot or not got around to it?

I don't think that honours or respects him, he wanted the money to go to you. Otherwise he'd have cancelled or changed it.
Come on, it's far more likely he forgot about the pension than he's cut a child out and is leaving it to an ex from three decades ago.

Certain pensions sit outside of the main estate. So it's very possible the pension company will pay to you as name's beneficiary without involving or waiting for the rest of the estate and will etc.

I had a similar situation to this when my ex husband died. We had an insurance policy linked to our mortgage which hadn't been cancelled. I hadn't been in touch with him for years and was contacted out of the blue.
I gave the money to his family. He had been paying the policy for many years. The money didn't feel like it was rightfully mine.

I think you should approach, assuming you know the name of his family. If it is genuine, you can offer condolences, if not, they should be alerted to this.

Aren't most pensions discretionary trusts so whilst you may say give it to my mum, 30 years later when you are married with kids, the trustee would probably give to your kids. (Unless you did it in last few years post kids with a clear reason why)