Things you can’t believe your teenager doesn’t know

[Annoyingwurringnoise]

My teenage DS, who went to a Church of England primary school, does not know the song Little Donkey. I am utterly perplexed as to how this can possibly be. He’s been a donkey twice in nativity plays, once at preschool and once at school, but he swears he doesn’t remember Little Donkey.

What things have you found out your teenagers don’t know that’s just left you scratching your head in disbelief?

I think some people would like us to start every school day with the National Anthem, the Lords Prayer and a raising of the Union Jack.

so despite living in a farm cottage for 20 years, it turns out my 21 & 22 sons don't know how to lay the fire in the woodburner.. I was quite frankly, astonished!

When I was young, it was played after the end of a film at the cinema and also when TV finished for the evening.

Mine couldn’t understand how or why ABBA won the Eurovision Song Contest by singing about a London train station 🤷‍♀️

My DNiece (16) didn't realise you could make Yorkshire puddings. She thought you had to buy them in shops, until she asked me what I was making when I was whisking the batter.

When I told her that if I poured said batter into a pan and fried it, instead of baking it in the oven, it would be a pancake, she looked like her head was about to explode. She thought you had to buy the mixture, in a packet.

Remember it coming out that they weren’t having the c of e assemblies any more from maybe the 90’s due to not being inclusive , fond memories of all the songs but not parroting the lord prayer , sounded awful and false 🥴

My younger sister (now not a teen but was at the time) cannot tell the time on a normal analog clock…. My step sister is exactly the same. Everything they have has a digital clock which they can read…. This blew my mind!!!!

DD1 was 16 before she realised that cows were all female. She's been teased about "girl cows" and "boy cows" ever since...

Twenty something at work asked me why the Kristin Scott Thomas character in Slow Horses is called Lady Di - when I said after Princess Diana replied that they didn't watch The Crown. Other youngsters in the office didn't know of of The Yorkshire Ripper or the film Some Like it Hot. Sorry, bit of a weird mix of stuff. Also none of them know how to drive!

She didn’t know houses had to be insured, just thought that if you had a fire or flood you simply replaced it all yourself.

We've only just had a conversation with DD1 17 about contents insurance - around uni accommodation currently being looked into - and first house we bought we were surprised that at exchange we needed building insurance rather than completion - worse still we had to be reminded by solicitor second house we bought as well but that was so slow going then suddenly very fast so we were a bit thrown.

TBH when we were renting some of the call centers wouldn't believe we didn't need building insurance just contents.

Our teens know about insurance as a concept as they've heard us talk about pets insurance and talk about travel insurance.

^We need a Venn diagram of “people who complain about teaching of any religious content in schools, even from a strictly ‘belief-neutral’ standpoint,” and “people who express dismay when kids can’t understand cultural allusions or metaphors that are grounded in religion.”
The “core knowledge” people are right, honestly; kids need some basic knowledge of the classics and world religions.
If the schools don’t do it, parents need to do it themselves.^

Speaking as a hardcore "no religious content in schools" type, the whole point is that we want parents to do it themselves if they see the need.

Look up “Nina And Frederick’ and the song should come up. It’s lovely - takes me back to my childhood but a long time ago so not surprised some have not heard of it.

My DDs both went to C of E Primary schools and they now go to a C of E high school. They went to church on the last day of term for a Carol service and had to LEARN Once In Royal David's City, Hark! The Herald Angels Sing and another one I can't remember which but I was gobsmacked that they didn't know them already.

They were absolute staples that we used to sing every year at my (non C of E primary school)! To be fair, we used to sing hymns every day year round and then carols at Christmas. It's one of the happiest memories of my childhood, although I am not religious in the slightest. I love a Christmas Carol.

@whiteroseredrose same here! I thought I’d been quite a good parent (v hands off) until this point as they could make their own dinner UNTIL I bought the WRONG beans that they had to figure out how to open

My 18 yo apprentice didn’t know what the yellow pages were - we suddenly felt v old 😞

We never sang ‘little donkey’ at Christmas at my C of E primary (70’s/80’s). We always sang a Mexican(?) song about peanuts and monkeys, can’t remember it now.

Never did a Christmas show/nativity either but I think that’s because there were a lot of NUT strikes when I was at school. Nothing extra-curricular, ever that I can remember.

Nope - it's on you! Little Donkey had a heavy load, not a busy day!

I've been taken by surprise when I've been at church services with my daughters and they haven't known any of the most popular traditional hymns. They went to church and to C of E schools as children and heard me singing them around the house and I'd have thought they'd have some recollection. My son has learned them as an adult because he sings, plays musical instruments, and is involved with his local church.

I was more surprised when my youngest daughter presented me with some clothes that needed mending. Not only because she couldn't figure out how to restitch a hem or seam herself, but also because she thought that "Mum likes knitting" meant the same as "Mum likes sewing".

Heavy day, not heavy load. 🤣

I have worked in a CofE primary for the last 8 years and we don’t t sing that carol. It’s a shame as I loved it as a child.

I probably had no clue about income tax when I was 16 either and both my parents worked and I didn’t come from a socially deprived area. I’m 32 now though so not sure if the curriculum has changed massively since then!

genius.com/The-beverley-sisters-little-donkey-lyrics

^Little donkey, little donkey
Had a heavy day
Little donkey, carry Mary safely on her way
Little donkey, carry Mary safely on her-^

My teens know fewer hymns that I do - they did a few but modern songs were often done in carol services they did do.

Mine asked me what the “thing that looks like a big orange” in the fruit bowl was. It was……. an orange. He’d grown up thinking that mandarins/satsumas were standard oranges, as I’d always bought them for his packed lunches.

DS aged 19 buying his first car ( his own earned money) browsing the internet.
This one even has an MOT he exclaims, he was really surprised when i said that all cars on the road ( obviously over 3 years) must have an MOT 😳

Dd17 until recently thought the Republic of Ireland was Wales on a map of the UK. For some reason she was convinced Wales was detached from the mainland. I was gobsmacked when she told me! To be fair she hasn’t lived in the UK for a long time but still..very questionable geography indeed!