I promise I am not being smug when I say this

[ChangedmynameagainforChristmas]

I had a lovely day yesterday. My family came round and we went for a walk with the dogs, and we had a meal together and the children played and the dogs played and we had fun.
I received a wonderful dressing gown (the sort you dream about) and a pair of slippers and all of my gifts were gratefully received.
Today I am slowly tidying up and sitting with a cuppa and reflecting on my lot.

Five years ago on Christmas Day I sat outside a chapel of rest on the path with my back to the wall where my son was inside. I never thought I would be happy again.

My children and my grandchildren were here yesterday. It's all you need really.
I know family can be annoying at times especially at Christmas when people behave badly but I would rather have a bad Christmas than one without the people I love.
So never mind your mother/sister in law (insert name here) with her shitty present that she wants back :) Go and give her a hug because she is still here and that's what it is all about.

That's wonderful OP.
Great attitude and approach to life.

You don't sound smug at all. It's wonderful that you have found peace and happiness after a tough time.

Well said.
Christmas brings out the absolute worst on Mumsnet. At one point yesterday 17 threads in Active were minor whinges (my 3 year old was underwhelmed etc) that has their OPs devastated and howling that Christmas was ruined.
wishing you well.

That's lovely, Op. After the devastating heart ache and loss you've suffered and while you will never heal from losing your beautiful son you most certainly deserve some happiness. I'm sure he's looking down on you.

I think two things might be simultaneously true -

1. you have had a devastating set of experiences and it has taught you the value of things we don’t notice.
2. people might have very valid, genuine and honest difficulties with family members where their struggles with family at important moments are important and genuine, and not to be undone with a hug.

both these things can be true.

Amen to this. Wishing you and your family well op.

We had a lazy unofficial Christmas, eating oven food, scoffing chocs, watching films all to the sound track of Dh's man flu.

I know you’re well intentioned but people find Christmas challenging for all sorts of reasons. I’m sorry for your loss but judging others for daring to feel anything other than beatific gratitude all day comes across as sanctimonious
.

Not trying to be in any way sanctimonious. Think about it. It's the one time when you can actually appreciate the people around you. Not the presents or the politics.. just the people. Is all I was saying.

I am so pleased that you had a wonderful Christmas op.

And sometimes the people around you are difficult to appreciate. We lost my dad last year, that doesn’t mean I can’t occasionally find my mum irritating! I think you should let others feel how they feel without judgment or lecturing.

You sound brilliant OP. So glad you had a lovely day after such a hard time. So sorry about your son.

@ChangedmynameagainforChristmas
I'm so glad you had a lovely day after the the terrible time you went through. 💐

It's not smug at all. You've lost a child and five years on, you're showing it's possible to find some peace after the worst thing in the world happens. I'm really happy for your simple joys and that you got to have a special day.

I agree with this.

I am truly sorry for your experience with your son. I am very pleased you had a lovely day yesterday.

I also think you could have made a lovely post without the little bit at the end commenting on how others choose to manage family relationships.

What wise words. Thank you for those and enjoy that cuppa and dressing gown 🎄

Oh shush does it!

It makes a change to have a lovely thread like this where people appreciate the simple things about Christmas.

OP, it's lovely to hear. My DC are grown up now and they and their partners spent from Xmas Eve to this morning with us, and we had such a lovely time.

We didn't do much outside of present giving and Christmas lunch...lunch played board games and laughed and laughed.

I had a little silent moment where I looked around the room and thought how lovely it is, that we all get on so well.

What a lovely post.
My mum passed away 10 yrs ago, she loved Christmas.
When My friend moan constantly about their mums and the gives they got I feel like reminding them you still have your mum.
I have the traditions with my kids my mum had with me.

Nice post

Thank you OP.
I have a difficult relationship with my family and Christmas can be difficult. However they are my family, and although they are frustrating I can still appreciate them.
I know social media doesn't help- it looks as though everyone else is having a blast.
It's good to be reminded that things don't need to be perfect to appreciate them.

There's not the slightest hint of smugness, it's very moving. You seem very Zen.

I'm so pleased you had a peaceful, content Christmas.

For those that had difficult Christmasses because of tricky relationships, I get that too. There really is no need to hug or even see people who have not treated us well. There will be some of us who wish we had relatives that it was bearable to spend time with, foibles and all, but some people are actually abusive .

I’m so happy you had a lovely Christmas OP, you deserve it .

I too looked around the room and felt so much love for my family. I felt blessed ❤️

i appreciate your moving, wise and not at all smug post, OP.

Totally agree OP. My favourite part of yesterday was my husband adult son & daughter all helping cook Christmas dinner together, eating together & playing games together. (Funny enough only mum husband & i washedup 😜).
Enjoy your time OP your people are special 🥰