I promise I am not being smug when I say this

[ChangedmynameagainforChristmas]

I had a lovely day yesterday. My family came round and we went for a walk with the dogs, and we had a meal together and the children played and the dogs played and we had fun.
I received a wonderful dressing gown (the sort you dream about) and a pair of slippers and all of my gifts were gratefully received.
Today I am slowly tidying up and sitting with a cuppa and reflecting on my lot.

Five years ago on Christmas Day I sat outside a chapel of rest on the path with my back to the wall where my son was inside. I never thought I would be happy again.

My children and my grandchildren were here yesterday. It's all you need really.
I know family can be annoying at times especially at Christmas when people behave badly but I would rather have a bad Christmas than one without the people I love.
So never mind your mother/sister in law (insert name here) with her shitty present that she wants back :) Go and give her a hug because she is still here and that's what it is all about.

Lovely post OP. This time last year, we were preparing for one of our twins to be stillborn. This year, I spent the day hugging her and playing with toys. A lot of emotions this year.

I’m sorry for your loss, 💐. And even you are smug, (which you’re not) you’re allowed to be ☺️. Though I have to say, dressing gowns have never formed part of my dreams 😁

Your post brought tears to my eyes. Last year I was mourning and this year, Christmas has been quite hard emotionally. But I put my heart into it, and the family had a lovely day all together. It’s Christmas I will treasure in my memories, “the one where nothing really went wrong”.

merry Christmas to you, and best wishes for a peaceful new Year

Go away

Hahah, Merry Christmas to you too. I just think that having a bit of empathy for those who find some of the little things at Christmas a struggle might sometimes be kinder than lecturing them on gratitude.

Thank you for sharing this. I am so glad you could find that happiness yesterday

Am so pleased you had a great day op. You totally deserve it.

I agree with this.

To hug my mother would be to hug my abuser.

This will be our 10th Christmas without her in it as the police and SS became briefly involved when it came to light she had put my children at risk of abuse too.

I don't tell anyone why. Legally, I'm not allowed to. But I know I am judged harshly by some of those around us who think as you do OP.

I'm glad you're in a better place now but have some compassion for those who are, for whatever reason, where you were 5 years ago. I don't think trite platitudes will have helped you then as they won't help others now.

Wonderful attitude and view on life OP.

I feel similarly. 2021 I had a breast cancer diagnosis and last Christmas I was in the middle of chemo, bald and feeling pretty crappy. All food tasted vile and I was so fatigued and low.

This year my hair is growing crazy and I had all my family here. My amazing DH prepared lunch and we had a quiz, drank, laughed and enjoyed the day.

My parents are now 80 and 77 but still in good health. Each year they're still with us is a blessing.

Life is good. I'm embracing every moment and precious memory.

That’s lovely op.

I too am feeling warm and fuzzy this morning after a successful Xmas with my wonderful in-laws who are just nice normal friendly people who care about their children’s happiness. None of the drama, callousness or uncomfortableness that a lot of people seem to experience. I am very lucky

I've had a bit of a shit Christmas .. was really lovely to hear you had a nice one. I don't think you're smug at all. You've reflected on times that haven't been so good and made the most of and enjoyed what you do have. Merry Christmas OP. Hope next year is good to you too 🥰 x

A bit of peace is all we need, I'm glad my post was well received. It's quiet here today and will be back to normal before we know it.

Thanks OP. That’s what I needed to read today. I’m so glad you had a lovely Christmas this year.

I’m glad you had a good Christmas OP and I completely get where you’re coming from. A friend of mine has a child with a life limiting condition and every so often a picture of her son will come up on social media when my kids are driving me insane - it reminds me to be grateful that my infuriating children are healthy. It’s an important reality check at times.

Ahh bless your heart. You've finally found happiness and peace and that is absolutely wonderful. It's not smug to be happy. A lot of people sometimes complain as a choice. It's about looking for the good amidst the darkness or pain. The loss reminds us of how precious life is and how we must hold on to what we have now. Finding peace is a wonderful thing x

This.

Also, do people dream about dressing gowns?

This is a lovely post, thank you OP.

I understood your well-intended post OP and don't find your sentiments at all smug. You've suffered a seismic loss and it's made you reassess your priorities in life. These experiences tend to do that to us. I'm happy you've now reached a place of peace.

I didn't interpret anything you said as a damning indictment of those who do have difficult relationships with equally difficult relatives, more a thought on how things find their proper place in life. Still won't be hugging my MiL, though! 🤣

I came on to mn yesterday and had to log off after about 10 mins as it was so depressing! Full of people moaning!

Ah, OP. Thank you.

I’m so sorry for your loss of your son, but I’m thankful you can still appreciate the good times.

Also, do people dream about dressing gowns?

Why shouldn't they? Some of the things that matter to people are small things. Not everything is seen in terms of its price tag, and this is definitely nothing to sneer at. It's the alternative that amounts to more of an impoverished life.

Absolutely fascinating that you took my comment as a statement of valuing the price of things.

Says a lot about how you see the world, or, rather, how you like to think 'other people' do, that you jumped to this.

TheUndoing

You're quite mean spirited and a total joy sponge.

Completely agree with this. I had a lovely day despite some challenging family relationships that can’t be mended with a hug (from both perspectives).

Absolutely.

Happy for you OP - it sounds like a wonderful Christmas, and richly deserved after such a terrible time. I’m sorry for the loss of your son.