Family Christmas fight- help please!

[Bekindbekind]

Please talk me down 🙂

DS is 12 and DD is 10.

Christmas holidays started ridiculously late this year (non-UK), Friday was the last day of school!

Work has been insane and I’m a frazzled mess. Spent all day yesterday running around sorting out the shopping. The children didn’t want to come and I thought fair enough, they’re tired.

We had a nice time this morning opening presents (none for me mind you), after a while I went to make breakfast. I thought I had a full carton of eggs, for scrambled eggs and smoked salmon. It turns out there are only 2 left. I asked DS to pop to the supermarket to get some more. The shops are open today and the supermarket is literally 20 metres from our front door. LITERALLY.

Well he didn’t want to and got all upset.

So did I. I stayed calm but I made it clear that I was NOT going to the shops again and I came upstairs to my room. I’ve spent the last 10(?!) minutes sobbing.

What do I do now? I’m hungry and I just wanted to have a nice breakfast and relax. But I’m not a bloody servant? Where have I gone wrong?

I want to start by saying to him no more phone or computer until the new year. I mean FFS. But how can I salvage Christmas in the meantime, without teaching him that he can be outrageously selfish and I’ll just suck it up? Advice needed.

(The DCs father is in the picture and will back me up 100%, but we won’t see him until this afternoon.)

And you seem to want to spend Christmas Day putting the boot into someone who is clearly struggling.
How lovely of you

Why not go and do something more Christmassy with your day eh?

yes he should have gone and bought the eggs and I don't think you are unreasonable.And the next time he wants something that matters to him from you, you say no, give and take and leave him without.

Maybe your DS really didn’t give that much of a shit about eggs for breakfast? If it was such a big deal to you, go and get them instead of having a tantrum.

Hahaha bored, bitter mumsbetters forgetting again that the strangers they are taunting from behind their screens are actual humans. Twats.

On the other hand, I tend to think there must be something missing in their lives if they can only think of nasty things to say at the end of Christmas Day. Anyway, lucky them if they’ve never reached the end of their emotional tether. I’ve had a hellish couple of years tbh, health-wise and otherwise, but I’m still alive and still happy 95% of the time 🙂 DS is falling asleep next to me now. Happy Christmas to you @AllOfThemWitches 🎄🎅🏻

Hope you had a nice day OP

I assume you invested a huge amount on ensuring your kids had a brilliant xmas, yet you would ruin it because a 12yo was too excited to run an errand for you?

You then pondered whether an over excited 12yo should have his media devices confiscated until after NY!

This is more than being overwhelmed!
You need to have a very serious word with yourself before you completely alienate your child!

I assume you invested a huge amount on ensuring your kids had a brilliant xmas,

Of money? Nope.

Bully for you if you’ve never contemplated punishing your children. You should hear some of the things the other school mums say about theirs at times.

I don’t think I need to worry about alienating him. But thanks for the tip, I’ll keep it in mind.

Oh OP you're absolutely knackered. Eggsgate was just the straw that broke the camel's back. Any other time you'd probably have rolled your eyes and said nope, up you jump, you're going to the shop.
LOL to alienating your child 🤣 honestly some people. You monster OP😆
Chill out and resolve to find alternatives to working yourself to the bone. You don't deserve to be a skivvy.

I agree with this.

I also agree with the pp that by 10 and 12 they should be buying you, and each other Christmas presents.

Yes, as parents we have to teach our dc this, and, similar to the pp, we started young, with them taking their £1 into poundland whilst I turned my head, moving to waiting outside the shop, moving to meeting them by X in 30mins, etc until they could safely think about it themselves and work out something to get you that you would like.

OP, hope it worked out in the end. I totally get the wrung out from working thing and also having a 12 yo who is just into his own thing.

I hope you get to chill out over the next few days and enjoy your lovely DC, eggs or not!

and while my 17yo DS went and bought gifts with his own money for us, DS2 who is 12 needed some help and guidance and also DH's cash to sort that one out.

Perhaps he’ll try for that “divorcing your parents” thing you used to hear about in Hollywood? 🤷‍♀️

This is the first year since 2018 that we haven’t had lockdowns in the runup to Christmas, so point taken on teaching children to shop for presents but we’ve kind of forgotten how to live I think? Only supermarkets were open in the corona lockdowns, and we don’t have the type that sell books, clothes, toys etc like in the UK. Just food really and some of them might have a shelf with a few pens, a writing pad and a mini mending kit.

But I digress.

I shall leave this thread now and I appreciate all the comments. Some of them really did give me a laugh. Some were food for thought and the support was lovely too. Happy Christmas everyone.

No presents for you? Tell them that the least they dance do is make you breakfast. If you behave like a doormat that is how you'll get treated.
My kids organised presents and breakfast in bed for me on special occasions from age 8 And by giving presents they get joy, the excitement of choosing, hiding, wrapping them and puttingthem under the tree, the recipients surprise and joy at a present. You are doing your kids a disservice by not encouraging them to give. As to your oh, if he can't ge arsed about you time to split up, life's too short to be miserable.

That's one of the problems of the world nowadays- ignore anyone who disagrees with you or has an opinion that might make you reflect on your behaviour, you're 100% right and your feelings are completely validated! 🙄
You're not wrong to feel annoyed or knackered, but it was Christmas day and you sulked and spent 4 hours in bed leaving your kids on their own, instead of playing with them and feeding them. In my opinion (that I'm allowed to have and allowed to disagree with you) it's not on!

Try a happier and healthier relationship between you and him first.