A thread of solidarity for those with Christmas guests

[Champagneforeveryone]

DM is arriving today, DH has just gone to collect her. Our relationship is normally OK, but due to some extremely dubious parenting on her part we've never been close.

Currently she's astounded and quietly appalled that the trains are busy and there's been a delay. She had also made vague noises about sending gifts down via courier but then left it too late, so tomorrow will require a trip to town <screams>

Added to the mix, DS is home from uni and his GF will be joining us from Boxing Day. DM is mildly racist and GF is not British. Dm also disapproves of wokeness and the general silliness of young people, so we're all in for a treat when she finds out GF is actually trans.

I intend to spend the next few days in a state of mild inebriation 🍷

We're having the 'mixed race people are so very musical' comments in strictly.

I just want to shout YOU KNOW WHERE THE F*ING KETTLE IS

Gosh yes! We've put everything ready so she can reach her own tea and coffee whenever she wants. Does she sort it? No. She announces she's thirsty and thinks she needs a cup of tea.

The amount I'm eating keeps being commented upon. I'm 35 weeks pregnant and very much a healthy weight. Unlike the commentator. Argh.

I’m a guest, not the host. But my DM has outdone herself on the most po faced evening buffet ever. No pork pie. No pate. No cold meat I like. No proper bread. No pickled onions or gherkins. Crappy biscuits for the cheese. Some sort of weird green lentil splat things.

I’ve just had to go and microwave a couple of the breakfast sausage rolls but I got told off for using the wrong tub to microwave them: apparently having a microwave symbol on the bottom is insufficient to warrant entry to the microwave.

Over lunch, DDad said red or white? And my DM chipped in “there’s always water!”

Oh piss off mother!

The blessing in my situation is, I'm in charge of food! So it's great.

When I stay with her, I have to shop when I arrive. She'll buy a beautiful looking pie in a farm shop, then put it in the freezer and wonder 'what on earth we'll have for tea', and offer freezer scrapings!

It's 9.15 and I'm in bed. Sleeping in the toddler's room because of elderly guests taking over ours so no doubt will be woken up, but I'm so ready to be lying down in the dark and quiet. Merry Christmas all!

may I just get it off my chest…

I have hosted too many for lunch today. My Dad grandly announced he would be doing the washing up. However he did none of it and my inlaws did it all with DH and i helping. DF told the same story several times over. DM gave me a present even though we said we weren’t doing adult presents, as with every present she has bought me over the years it will go straight to a charity shop because it isn’t anything even vaguely nice, useful, or to my taste (I am not fussy, I always say “just buy a book that’s been nominated for a prize” if asked, they live within 5 minutes walk of a bookshop,I do not want or use random cheap body cream sets likely to make me itch) . My sister (lives overseas, rare visitor) played Disney auntie, amongst other things demolishing a dig your own gemstone set with DS. And then walked away at the end, not doing anything to help. The dust and mess was everywhere, including all over the other children’s activities happening at the same table. DSis was staying here last night but isn’t tonight and hasn’t bothered even to make her bed, hang up her towel, anything. Which considering she took 90 minutes to get ready this morning is a wonder. PILs (also staying with us) look askance when I have suggested having anything else to eat since Christmas lunch (which was at 1pm) because “one meal a day is quite enough, I don’t know how anyone else fits anything in, etc etc.”

just remembered the point I started bringing the food into the table to find a) there weren’t enough chairs around the table b) the spoons I’d got out to be set out had been put away. So I had to fix that too.

i know that everyone who has been here today has genuinely had a better time than their alternative. My children have been lovely, fun and charming. But I have not had fun.

and I had just gone to sleep when DS woke up wetting the bed and now he can’t get back to sleep and I have more washing todo tomorrow..

@Hoppinggreen

You know exactly what I meant

No I have absolutely no idea what you meant
Why don't you make yourself clear

She meant it didn't take long for somebody to pull the "how dare you all moan, I'd give anything to have relative X with me" @CallieQ

Was pretty ruddy obvious to 99.9% of us I'm sure

My dad passed a few weeks ago, but fortunately I can still sympathise with people who find hosting difficult. Not sure why you can't.

Good for you

I'm not sympathising with anyone who still has their parents around when I lost mine way too early

It's Christmas get over it

"Good for you"

What? Losing my dad? What a cruel and crass choice of words

How nasty

Well done @CallieQ
Now you're getting it 😂😂😂😂

Wow you really think you're funny don't you

@CallieQ you've been nasty on this thread. I'm sorry you miss your parents, I'm sure they were lovely. There's a thread on here somewhere for people who are struggling with loss or loneliness at Christmas.

This isn't it. This is for those of us struggling with the behaviour or entitlement of our guests.

We started to watch strictly Christmas last night with MIL and had
(Rosie Ramsay)"She's a hefty lass, hope he's a strong boy" ,
(anyone with a hint of darker skin)"Why are there so many of them, they are everywhere on telly nowadays?"
And I cannot repeat what she said about Amy's partner George...

I switched it off in under 5 minutes to be told "I was enjoying that"... really?... tough.

She's going home today.

Mine arrived (well I drove 3 hours there and back to collect her, staying overnight) Thursday. I've no idea how she's getting back yet!

Or when.

Blimey people that jump on these threads with the usual

" you don't know how lucky you are"

"I'd give anything to have X relative here"

Yes that's YOUR relative and your life. I lost my DM and of course I would love her to be here but I don't get all incensed at others struggling to be kind and do the loving thing with difficult elderly relatives!

See also people that say you have a choice just don't invite them. Posters are just enjoying sharing getting it off their chest they don't actually want old uncle Des to sit on his own on Christmas day.

I had my DF yesterday who is mostly sweet and generous and kind but after a few wines gets right on my tits and can say the odd rude thing but love is complicated so we all get on with it.

I suspect like most families we get bits of the day that we get some joy out of and other parts we give to the guests to have some company and joy.

Anyway I raise hunger games style salute to all of you, especially those that have guests for days! Now that is one thing I wouldn't do for love 😀.

🤣

I have not had a moments peace and quiet in 48 hours. I even had to sleep in with my youngest 😭

I'll lend you mine. She'll be fine, she has alzheimers and hasn't a clue where she is anyway. Yesterday she was surprised we were allowed to take over the kitchen (in our house). That was after she asked my married DS if he had a girlfriend on a video call with him, DIL & his in-laws.

Well DS has left to collect GF, it's around an hours journey each way and we are meeting for dinner at 3pm. He's even scraped the top layer of debris off the car seats so things appear serious 😆

It is gone 11am and DM is still in pyjamas on the sofa. She's slightly appalled at the desecration of a book bought specifically from the charity shop to make paper stars. She's sat there sniffing it nostalgically and murmering, "I do love books"

I will take DDogs for a walk shortly in order to get out of the house. Alcohol consumption prior to the meeting of the GF is apparently frowned upon.

I've taken mum home. DS1 ad his partner have gone to see her mum and DH is out so I'm having a blissfully quiet cup of tea. This morning mum was telling me about her daughter, which is me😔