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Original poster

Tell me why being in your 40s is good

50 replies

oldandfeckless · 22/12/2022 22:06

So I will be turning 40 in a few weeks...I'm trying not to freak out as I know deep down it's just a number - however, I do feel a slight panic that I am getting older. 40 always seemed such a milestone when I was younger, and people seemed older back then.

I have 2 dc who are in their late teens which probably makes me feel a wee bit older, I think having young kids makes you feel younger, but those days are behind me now - scary to think they are not far off the age I was when I had them! I put my career on hold in my 20s to raise my DC, and now I am doing quite well,and nearly professionally qualified in my profession (so a late starter there really).

I think back to turning 30 and all what has changed in the last 10 years and I do feel proud of myself...but slightly scared of the next 10 years at the same time!

Not sure what I want out of this post other than other peoples stories of being in their 40s and how life has only just got better I guess! 😁 better to grow old than the alternative, but where have the last 20 years gone????

OP posts:
Lovelyellowlab · 25/02/2023 08:35

I take it your showing no signs or peri menopause yet then !

good luck op
I think for alot of women 40s can be a rough ride !!

Papayaya · 25/02/2023 08:40

My grandma always said 40’s were a great decade which helped me feel less anxious about it! For me it’s the growing and genuine confidence in myself, being much more empathic and tuned into other people, just generally wiser and not being too different physically than my 30’s. Really it’s not bad at all!

ItsHitTheFanNow · 25/02/2023 08:41

I won't lie. It's not been my favourite decade. Sorry OP.

randomusername2020 · 25/02/2023 08:42

This reply has been withdrawn

This post has been withdrawn at the poster's request due to privacy concerns.

Papayaya · 25/02/2023 08:43

Mid 40’s and I’ve just started having peri symptoms… It’s given me a kick up the arse to take control of myself generally through exercise, diet and supplements and hopefully will be balanced out by medication if needs be.

FiveShelties · 25/02/2023 08:43

I am 66 and being in my 40s sounds like a fantastic place to be.

Youdoyoubabe · 25/02/2023 08:44

40 to 45 was great. 45 to 50 a bit more of a schlep. That middle aged anxiety a lot of women get hit me. Weight gain etc.

happy to be waking up alive everyday though.

time to get into gardening.

Papayaya · 25/02/2023 08:49

There are just so many inspirational women of 40 plus in the public eye nowadays. It’s really a great decade in so many ways.

Wishyouwerehere30 · 25/02/2023 08:53

Same as last poster; 40-45 great! I'm 46 now, still feel fine but def more tired and beginning to show signs of aging. However more confident than I used to be, kids older so less pressure there. Getting older is hard when you still feel young mentally but I try and feel grateful for what I have without being too much of a cliche; ie health, family, security etc.

mac1974 · 25/02/2023 08:55

For me, the best thing about the 40s so far is that I have more confidence in my decisions and am comfortable with myself. Also my kids are older, more independent & we can do more fun things tighter. I also a bit more time to myself.
The hardest part has been becoming more aware of my parents ageing & having to care for them. Also seeing my friends parents decline or suddenly die has been quite sobering.

Andthatstheend · 25/02/2023 09:00

i have found it’s the decade where you finally start letting go of all the people pleasing, saying yes when you you mean no, worrying about what people will think, and you dgaf anymore. It’s liberating

quiteathome · 25/02/2023 09:04

I started a degree at 40, graduated and got a new career. My kids are old enough to be more independent and are great (most of the time) to be around.

I am giving less of a fuck these days about what other people think of me. And I have just slightly more confidence in a way. I am also lucky in that I have good friends.

I am definitely happy and content overall. That could just be due to luck really.

But it is just a number and I know peri is approaching but I will get through it, although I am a bit worried about it

dreamalittlescreamforme · 25/02/2023 09:05

You give less of a fuck.

Justbetweenus · 25/02/2023 09:07

I liked my 40s - DC were more independent, had more time and headspace to focus on me. My career went from strength to strength, I started going to a hardcore and really enjoyable Bootcamp and was in the shape of my life. I didn’t have a troublesome peri-menopause (I take HRT). Turning 40 feels significant because of the 4 … but you’ll look back and realise it is just a number.

MachineBee · 25/02/2023 09:11

I divorced my ExH at 42 and from that point my life was so much better. My health improved, career bloomed and I met my now DH. Finally felt in charge of my own life for the first ever time. My 40s were brilliant.

cravingtoblerone · 25/02/2023 09:13

It's not all been plain sailing. But the nice thing about being in your 40s is that you have far far more confidence in yourself and your choices. I am way less likely to tolerate bullshit from others now. I stand my ground more and I worry less about what people think of me.

DorritLittle · 25/02/2023 09:14

I am almost 45 and so far it feels like my 30s but with more options to see friends and do things like better holidays as my kids are older. I was tired in my 30s anyway from having young kids and can’t currently notice any difference.

Papergirl1968 · 25/02/2023 09:16

Yes, what others have said.
I dreaded it and my 40s were hard for me in the sense that I adopted two DD with very challenging behaviour, and had a fairly early menopause with long, heavy periods that then just stopped which was very liberating.
I had an amazing job that I loved before taking voluntary redundancy and a break from work for a few years.
More confidence, less giving a fuck what others think, or worrying about my looks etc.

ChocAuVin · 25/02/2023 09:16

I am 44 and life kind of began (again) at 40 when I got divorced. The last 5 years have been excellent. I love freedom and being single with teens. I still feel very much in my prime and the only niggle is how much prominence peri/menopause now has in our psyche — I wonder if I’m about to be hit with horrendous or debilitating symptoms.

Like other posters, I care less about lots of things — this leaves more headspace to care about stuff that does matter — in my experience, that’s people and rarely things.

It’s a season and so far it feels like the upsides far outweigh any downs.

Heartsandbirds · 25/02/2023 09:17

I’m 43 in 6 weeks. My 40s are by far my favourite decade so far. I no longer take any shit, I’m confident and assured in my career, I have all the children I want, my marriage is solid, I can see where I’m going financially, I’m beginning to regain some independence now the children are old enough to be without me a day or two… And I know who I am at last. Love my 40s. Enjoy!

PlaitBilledDuckyPuss · 25/02/2023 09:20

I'm nearing the end of mine. My early 40s were when I stopped caring so much about what other people think, which is good. But my health generally took a nose-dive - levels of energy declining and so on; body generally 'going south'.

My parents have aged a lot in this decade, going from coping and functioning to not coping and functioning poorly.

It's not been a great decade, really, and sadly I think it can only get worse when I hit my 50s.

Lottapianos · 25/02/2023 09:21

'For me it’s the growing and genuine confidence in myself, being much more empathic and tuned into other people, just generally wiser and not being too different physically than my 30’s'

This is definitely my experience too. In fact I'm in better shape physically at 43 than I was in when I was 30. I know how to eat well, I know how important exercise is to me, and in general I'm much better at taking care of myself

Yes, perimenopause will hit in your 40s but there are TONS of information and options available and whatever happens, you will manage it

maranella · 25/02/2023 09:22

I've loved my 40s. I still looked pretty good, DC getting a bit older so more time for myself, my interests, social life, etc. Better sleep, so more energy. Being older makes people take you a bit more seriously. It's been a great decade - my favourite so far!

NoraLuka · 25/02/2023 09:23

Yes to not giving a fuck about what people think. I wish I could go back in time and coach 18 y o me (who thought 40 was ancient!) about not giving a fuck!

I actually feel healthier than I have for years due to doing more exercise and eating better, although I do still smoke and drink.

One downside is kind of feeling restless and wanting to change everything, but I don’t know if that’s being 40 or just me.

I only turned 40 last summer so don’t know what the rest of the decade has in store !

dudsville · 25/02/2023 09:26

We're not all in the same boat, but for me i loved that decade. I had answered all the big questions of the 30's - where would i live, who with, children, work, etc., and i could just BE me whilst still being young. The 50's and 60's are similar, but it's no longer young, it's mature, and the last hurrah re health 🤞 and that brings a level of sobriety, entering the time when illnesses start to creep in for loved ones too. The 40s are a brilliant time.

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