Tell me why being in your 40s is good

[oldandfeckless]

So I will be turning 40 in a few weeks...I'm trying not to freak out as I know deep down it's just a number - however, I do feel a slight panic that I am getting older. 40 always seemed such a milestone when I was younger, and people seemed older back then.

I have 2 dc who are in their late teens which probably makes me feel a wee bit older, I think having young kids makes you feel younger, but those days are behind me now - scary to think they are not far off the age I was when I had them! I put my career on hold in my 20s to raise my DC, and now I am doing quite well,and nearly professionally qualified in my profession (so a late starter there really).

I think back to turning 30 and all what has changed in the last 10 years and I do feel proud of myself...but slightly scared of the next 10 years at the same time!

Not sure what I want out of this post other than other peoples stories of being in their 40s and how life has only just got better I guess! 😁 better to grow old than the alternative, but where have the last 20 years gone????

Holy shit! It’s a great decade to be alive in!!

Truly!

I had my miracle, unexpected and amazing baby that I never thought was going to happen! !!

So I got to do parenting a wee one all over again but this time better because I knew what I was doing, did it with confidence and did it with the utmost style!
Didn’t give a fiddlers fart about what people said! Was liberating and absolute joy!

Also got creative with jobs, somehow the pressure to stick shite things out was lifted. So I did what made me happy and content.

I honestly felt like life’s challenges were behind me. I had a warrior mentality and whatever came, I had seen it, done it and fucking survived it so I felt strong and prepared.

I had my daughter at 40. It's been an enjoyable decade mostly with some challenges. I'm enjoying being 50.

I'm.almost 44 and I'm really enjoying my 40s. I'm doing well in my career, much more confident in how I look, secure in my relationship and give far fewer fucks about people who don't matter to me. Sure, there are bumps in the road with parents aging and dying, and parenting teenagers but it's my favourite decade so far.

I am mid 40s no signs of menopause or period menopause but the constant discussion around it is giving me menopause fear if I am honest dreading how bad it might be and it might be absolutely fine and 5 or more years away. Positives are more freedom as your children grow up you have older ones so less parental guilt if you take some time for you. Giving way less of a shit what people think the more you move through your forties the less of a fuck you will give. More financial freedom in sight my mortgage is ever closer to finishing. I kind of know where life is going hopefully nothing is uncertain or unknown really. Plan to finish working where I am no big career or work changes. Just comfortable I guess. I take so much more pleasure from simple things. A sunny day a long walk nice meal spending time with nice people and care so much mess about things. I want to travel more and should be able to now so looking forward to doing that with my kids. The places that when they were little would have been more stressful that enjoyable can now be done.

My40's have been the worst decade so far, lost my DM, Covid, financial worries and HRT.
I think honestly thought it would be a lovely decade. But thats just my experience and everyone has a different position in life.
It can be a squeezed decade with teen kids and older parents demanding more emotionally.
It can also be a time where you get to put more into your career or own hobbies again as the kids get older. So don't listen to my gloomy tales! Im still happy and health and enjoying my family it's just been tough.

Agree with other posters that stoppping the people pleasing and being more confident in the decision making

For me personally a couple of things have happened since hitting 40 (at which time my life was pretty good tbh) which make it hard to be positive but these are not age related
My dh has been in and out of work, as have I creating a lot of uncertainty and covid happened too.
But I am still gaining new skills and being resourceful

Yes but of perimenopause but also a feeling of knowing there is still lots of time to make changes that will make a difference long term.
I became eligible for a well woman check and am making food choices which are making a difference

Oh yes and my kids are more independent so lots there that is easier

I'm in my early 50s now and had DCs in my late 30s, so a bit different to you OP but my 40s were amazing in general, on reflection.

I was more confident, had more money, had a better sense of what was important in life, had much better skin as I still suffered from oily breakouts in my 30s. My figure had pretty much stayed the same too luckily.

In comparison I look back and think I was a floundering freak in my 30s!

Post-40, I had my much-wanted second baby after multiple miscarriages, changed career, bought first house and generally things have gone pretty well in my 40s and I rarely feel my age.

Since 45, some health problems have started kicking in and first signs of peri which has been difficult to accept but has made me take more care of my body which will hopefully be a good thing in the long run.

I haven't reached the famed dgaf stage yet - always been an overthinker and worrier. In a way that's reassuring as I still feel like my personality hasn't fundamentally changed and I am still me.

Even though you are at a different life stage in terms of children, it sounds like your career is blossoming and you have a lot to look forward to.

It isn't.

I'm 48 and have loved my 40s, so much more confident and comfortable in my own skin, and care less what people think. 40s will be great OP!

It doesn't feel better or worse just different mind you not why I guess I just feel older

I’m about to turn 50, I think people now at 40/50 seem younger than when I was young, I think people are younger longer now.

I have liked my kids getting older and more independent, although they were only 7 and 4 when I turned 40 so it’s happened over the decade than when I was actually 40

I wil be 42 in May and I feel better than I ever have since I turned 40. Fitter, stronger, more confident.

Early 40s are great! I'm now 48 and perimenopausal. Generally feeling quite tired and flat - but not terrible. I'm still content. There's still so much that's good. I'm genuinely more confident and comfortable in my own skin. I don't care what other people think of me. I feel like I finally know who I am and what I want. The years of people pleasing are behind me.

@Andthatstheend I've found this too. And I'm much happier as a result.

My 40's were fabulous. I had my dc at 34 and 38, so they were mostly primary aged for my 40's, we did all sorts of wonderful things. I still looked young and had boundless energy, I was agile and still flexible enough to jump up and run. I'd have my 40's back in a heartbeat.

I'm not doing bad for 55, I'm still going to the gym and look good but it's always "... for my age" now, lol. The thing is, you have to look for the positives of every age and make the most of them, there's no point pining after ages gone by.

I‘m 45. Have an adult child and a teenager.

40-45 has been one of the best periods of my life! My career has taken off. My confidence is the highest it’s ever been.
I feel like I’ve really come into myself and am who I was always meant to be.

Granted I was thrown off kilter a bit over the past year as I’ve hit perimenopause. That was a bit of a shocker, as I underestimated how hard it would hit me. Had a very rough 6 months, but feeling better since I started HRT so hopeful that my good decade will continue!

Overall I’ve found my 40s less stressful and more enjoyable than my 30s, for sure. Embrace having older kids and more time for your career and interests!

The only good thing about your 40’s is that you haven’t got to your 50’s.

48 here. Way better for not caring about various things. I like it and life feels pretty good

I echo many of PPs in that my 40s were the best decade so far. I turn 50 this year and so far no menopause symptoms, although I too have a fear of it with all the recent discussion in the media.

I have adult and teen children, so time for myself and DH again. Did a degree and qualified in a whole new career, have an interesting and challenging job which has given me focus for the past few years. Ran a marathon, kept myself reasonably fit, so overall I feel I've achieved a lot.

I am trying to look forward positively despite the inevitable parents ageing, health changes etc. Having lost friends these past couple of years, a similar age to me, I'm not dwelling too much on the what ifs.

Your 40s can absolutely be the best time, and I hope they are for you OP.

One post in and the bloody menopause is mentioned - only on MN are people so obsessed with being "peri" 🙄

OP, I'm sailing through my 40s, I'm 47 now and the fittest I've been due to more time to to run and get to the gym. We see friends whenever we want as our kids are self-sufficient (16 & 18) although have less money now they're older and thinking about University...

I'm not going to lie, I am not looking forward to turning 50 as I still feel like I'm 25 but hey ho, with exercise and the right clothes I can pass for someone a few years younger than I am 😉

Anyone who is feeling anxious about impending menopause - knowledge is power. Educate yourself. Know the symptoms to look out for. And if you start to experience symptoms that are making your miserable and impacting on your quality of life, go and see your GP and discuss your options for HRT. I'm 49, went on HRT at 46, and honestly most of the time I feel great. It can take a while to tinker with methods/doses, but when once you get it right it can take away a lot of the symptoms that can make this stage of life hard otherwise.

My kids are teens/young adults so I've had time to build on my own social life and hobbies.

I've taken up running, had weekends away and have had more freedom/time for myself.

I've been able to lose the working mum guilt a bit and work for promotion.

We have such fun as a family unit too, as we can do grown up things.

At 47 I'm beginning to see signs of peri but I'm fit and healthy and will get hrt as soon as I feel the need.

Uni costs aren't helpful but no childcare so it's still easier.

Embrace it!

My 30s were spent parenting younger children. Early 40s now and the children are in the early stages of a bit of independence and I'm enjoying not feeling totally tethered to them. Independence will return through my 40s which is something to look forwards to.

I was at a gig recently and looked younger than much of the crowd. There were some young people there, but a gap between looking studenty and the 40s/ 50s making up most of the crowd. I did smile at the memory of going out 20+ years ago and seeing the "crusty old rockers" still going in their 40s and the thought that I'm now "crusty old rocker" age myself. It seemed like forever away at the time.