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Original poster

Utterly sick of my embarrassing bowel when I visit anywhere

51 replies

Lasttangowithcarys · 20/12/2022 21:39

I’m so embarrassed at myself, absolutely fed up with it.

Basically, whenever I visit people / go out for food with friends or even have people visit me in my home my stomach acts up.

I always need the loo urgently, today I visited my brother who’s NEW girlfriend was there. I had to excuse myself to use his loo 3 times (urgent pooping) and whilst sat chatting I moved and let out the hugest fart. 😞

I apologised and it was brushed off but I’m so embarrassed. It happens all the time! I’m petrified to visit people, not so bad with family but even going out with friends I’m going to the loo urgently until I’m empty and I’m full of wind.

Im the same even in my own home, I’m having to disappear off to the toilet every half hour or so or I’m passing gas!

I love going places, having visitors so why is my body acting nervous? What can I take to stop this happening?

OP posts:
upfucked · 20/12/2022 21:41

How long has this been going on? Have you seen your GP?

WomanhoodIsABirthright · 20/12/2022 21:42

Have you tried an elimination diet?

GreenFingersWouldBeHandy · 20/12/2022 21:43

Have you spoken to your GP? Could be anything from a food allergy to IBS.

You need some professional help here.

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General health
Cucumberbund · 20/12/2022 21:43

I use really good probiotics and stay off sugar, alcohol carbonated drinks and eat gluten free bread to reduce the wind problem.

onepieceoflollipop · 20/12/2022 21:43

Imodium may help for occasional use.

have you tried eating very small amounts when in these circumstances - for example if out for a meal with friends, make an excuse such as ‘had a big lunch’ and order a soup or something bland to have when others have their mains.

do any foods/drinks make it worse or better? Some people find kefir is beneficial - as a daily routine as part of your diet.

Fuwari · 20/12/2022 21:44

I'm hoping you get some answers as its the same for me. I have been diagnosed with IBS which is zero help. Taking immodium for days out etc was helping but the other day I took 2. Went out, had a coffee and the tiniest bit of cake and barely made it home in time. I am so so fed up with it. So sorry, I know that's no help! But just to let you know I sympathise.

Margo34 · 20/12/2022 21:44

Probiotics / fermented foods? Small amounts to start with!!

onepieceoflollipop · 20/12/2022 21:44

Sorry yes meant to add that you need to get checked out first rather than just treating symptoms

PragmaticWench · 20/12/2022 21:44

There are definitely huge links between anxiety and your bowels, so it's worth investigating calming techniques.

I'd also be off the the GP with a list of symptoms, and how long you've had them, and requesting tests. Blood tests for coeliac, stool tests for other bowel/intestinal diseases.

zeddybrek · 20/12/2022 21:45

This happens to DH, he has IBS. Helped by the fodmap diet. Massive difference once he went on that. But he stills gets this to some extent if he has to go anywhere. Peppermint pills, mint tea, meverine (sp?) All help too. Definitely get this checked out by the GP to rule out other gastric issues.

zeddybrek · 20/12/2022 21:46

CBT is next on the list as apparently that helps with anxiety/nervousness related IBS.

Fuwari · 20/12/2022 21:46

order a soup or something bland to have when others have their mains

Whilst I can see that's potentially good advice. How bloody miserable! I'd rather then just not go.

onepieceoflollipop · 20/12/2022 21:47

@Fuwari - yes it is a bit miserable, but I imagine so is ordering a nice big plate of something rich and creamy and abandoning it for a mad dash to the loo…

PinewoodScent · 20/12/2022 21:48

Sounds like irritable bowel urgency. I have never managed to solve it and still have occasional accidents where I soil myself. It’s much better since I cut out gluten though.
I am not Coeliac but have found going gluten free helped - please note you shouldn’t cut out gluten this until AFTER you have been tested for Coeliac disease.
Peppermint oil capsules can also help if I know I am likely to have trouble.
Avoid tight waistbands. Elasticated waistbands are better.

Outandover · 20/12/2022 21:49

Have you seen the GP? It sounds like it could be IBS which is also linked to stress. Perhaps you have got yourself into a cycle of worrying about needing the toilet and then it becomes a pattern.

I had IBS for many years which only occasionally flares up now. I would take Buscopan when it really flared up. I have also found that reducing all carbs has helped enormously, but different people have all sorts of triggers and you could do a process of elimination by keeping a food and symptom diary etc.

gothmothtime · 20/12/2022 21:49

This happened to me for about 15 years due to anxiety. And the more I worried about it the more it happened.

If I was at home by myself I had no problems at all. But when I was going somewhere I was even the slightest bit nervous about, or somewhere I knew I wouldn't be able to easily access a toilet, it always happened.

A combination of SSRIs and therapy have helped loads, but it still happens at times when I'm anxious. On those occasions I take Imodium, but only when I absolutely have to - I.e my wedding day, long haul flights.

MrsCarson · 20/12/2022 21:55

I have this and I'm Coeliac. I find taking Windeez or other Simethicone based tablets for a day before a big visit day, or even take one occasionally when I can feel myself getting more and more gassy. I've found that taking care of the wind seems to ease off the rushing to the loo every 30 minutes.

Original poster
Lasttangowithcarys · 20/12/2022 21:56

Thanks all, I’m not a poo troll honestly!

Its been happening on and off for a few years but it’s now getting absolutely all the time. I have been to the GP about my stomach troubles but after clear blood and poop samples he said probably IBS and to take meberverine which didn’t do a thing.

I’ve had some success with Fybogel taken of a evening which has reduced the morning urgency but it’s still not enough in situations like today.

I get like it in shops, supermarkets, if we go for food, visit people, all the nice things. I’m always looking for a loo.
seems to have really kicked off around peri menopause I suppose.

OP posts:
Summerhouse2013 · 20/12/2022 21:59

gothmothtime · 20/12/2022 21:49

This happened to me for about 15 years due to anxiety. And the more I worried about it the more it happened.

If I was at home by myself I had no problems at all. But when I was going somewhere I was even the slightest bit nervous about, or somewhere I knew I wouldn't be able to easily access a toilet, it always happened.

A combination of SSRIs and therapy have helped loads, but it still happens at times when I'm anxious. On those occasions I take Imodium, but only when I absolutely have to - I.e my wedding day, long haul flights.

Absolutely this 👆

Uberbeeboo · 20/12/2022 22:00

Could it be anxiety maybe? It seems to be when you're in situations which would be embarrassing and inconvenient if you did need the loo. Anxiety can cause the bowels to loosen.

Aquamarine1029 · 20/12/2022 22:00

I was going to ask if Peri might be a factor. I see that it is, which isn't unusual at all. Our whole system can change radically during peri, so I suggest you start of journey of examining your diet. Foods that we used to tolerate well can become our enemy. It definitely happened to me.

Baconand · 20/12/2022 22:00

Try Betablockers

stellabella22 · 20/12/2022 22:03

gothmothtime · 20/12/2022 21:49

This happened to me for about 15 years due to anxiety. And the more I worried about it the more it happened.

If I was at home by myself I had no problems at all. But when I was going somewhere I was even the slightest bit nervous about, or somewhere I knew I wouldn't be able to easily access a toilet, it always happened.

A combination of SSRIs and therapy have helped loads, but it still happens at times when I'm anxious. On those occasions I take Imodium, but only when I absolutely have to - I.e my wedding day, long haul flights.

I could have written this. It has happened to me for years and is particularly bad at the moment. I can't go anywhere without visiting the loo but I'm fine at home so I'm 99% sure it's anxiety related rather than a physical issue. I'm taking propranolol to try and control the panic attacks but it's not really helping.

Can I ask what the SSRI's you mention are and how you eventually overcome this?

Sorry to hikack the thread op, in your case it does sound a lot more physical due to it happening when you're home too but being anxious about it definitely won't help. There's a massive link between the brain and gut so even thinking about it may trigger the urge to go. Once you're in full blown fight or flight it's a biological reaction to poop. I have suffered with it for years.

Crackedmosaic · 20/12/2022 22:05

My DH and MIL have both been advised by the GP to take one codeine a day for it bunging up properties. MIL does take one a day but DH takes occasionally when he is having a bad flare up due to it being addictive but it definitely helps him.

Uberbeeboo · 20/12/2022 22:07

gothmothtime · 20/12/2022 21:49

This happened to me for about 15 years due to anxiety. And the more I worried about it the more it happened.

If I was at home by myself I had no problems at all. But when I was going somewhere I was even the slightest bit nervous about, or somewhere I knew I wouldn't be able to easily access a toilet, it always happened.

A combination of SSRIs and therapy have helped loads, but it still happens at times when I'm anxious. On those occasions I take Imodium, but only when I absolutely have to - I.e my wedding day, long haul flights.

Absolutely this, and I remember searching for advice this time last year about the same thing. I had to get treatment for mental health to improve my physical health. I genuinely thought I had a bowel condition, yet this issue only occurred when I was in the office or the cinema or a restaurant. I avoided going anywhere and it impacted work massively. The only treatment for anxiety worked and it's amazing how well I managed the situation. Imodium is effective too for emergencies.