Utterly sick of my embarrassing bowel when I visit anywhere

[Lasttangowithcarys]

I’m so embarrassed at myself, absolutely fed up with it.

Basically, whenever I visit people / go out for food with friends or even have people visit me in my home my stomach acts up.

I always need the loo urgently, today I visited my brother who’s NEW girlfriend was there. I had to excuse myself to use his loo 3 times (urgent pooping) and whilst sat chatting I moved and let out the hugest fart. 😞

I apologised and it was brushed off but I’m so embarrassed. It happens all the time! I’m petrified to visit people, not so bad with family but even going out with friends I’m going to the loo urgently until I’m empty and I’m full of wind.

Im the same even in my own home, I’m having to disappear off to the toilet every half hour or so or I’m passing gas!

I love going places, having visitors so why is my body acting nervous? What can I take to stop this happening?

I solved this by colon irrigation. Once a month for a year and that was over 20 years ago and it’s never returned. But find someone who specialises in it rather than someone who does it as part of beauty.

Sounds like it could be anxiety op. I get this too. Even if im looking forward to something it'll happen. It's definitely got worse since lockdown, food shopping is a nightmare as I shop at aldi and they don't have public loos. Also if I know somewhere doesn't have a toilet I need to go urgently. Shopping centres, first thing I need to find is a loo.

I'm fine if I'm at home alone, no urgent poos. If I have a stressful meeting, even on video, I'll need the loo a few times beforehand, so I know it's my nerves. Excited to go shopping with my dd, get to the shops - need the loo.

I've got no real suggestions for you except to plan, and know your loo exit

As others have said it sounds like a anxiety link

I get this (not the gas, just sudden, uncontrollable diarrhea) when eating out. Rarely happens at home, unless I massively overeat rich food, but it can happen even with modest meals (e.g. a sandwich) if I am out. Covid means I haven't really eaten at friend's houses since it started (a couple of years back) but the thought terrifies me!

It will usually happen about 15 mins after eating a meal (so if I'm very local, I just make sure we get the bill and leave the restaurant promptly!) Though sometimes can be up to an hour. Usually just one episode, then I'm fine. Very little warning- maybe maximum of 5 mins between first cramp, and uncontrollable diarrhea. Sometimes I have to weigh up the choices between leaving immediately following a meal, or hanging around long enough that I can use the restaurant toilet, but then if I haven't gone, knowing that it's even more likely to hit me on the drive home!

I routinely manage it by taking one or two immodiums before eating. That works 90% of time but there have been cases where I've had an episode despite taking them.

Anxiety definitely makes it worse but it won’t be anxiety related for everyone. I can shit myself just as easily at home as I do elsewhere! Likewise the advice to stick to bland foods. I can eat the tiniest plainest thing and still have to rush to the loo. I kept a food diary, didn’t point to anything. Absolutely OP should try everything and consider everything. I just wanted to point out that for some, there are no answers. Nothing helps. It’s a miserable way to live. I am pretty much agoraphobic now. It hasn’t “solved” my bowel issues in the slightest, but I know I have a loo to hand and the “clean up” is easier at home.

I am exactly the same. I take codeine w paracetamol (OTC). Only 2. It stops my loose bowels. It’s the only thing that works. Defo occasionally. Not daily.

@Fuwari i have a whole other set of investigations going on myself atm, but can confirm caffeine is a big trigger for many people with IBS or even in general as it’s been shown to activate the colon. That coffee almost certainly didn’t help you! Rubbish if you love your coffee like my DH does x

Agreed Fuwari. I don't think mine is totally anxiety related (and by anxiety, I mean excitement anyway - I love eating out!). Have you heard of dumping syndrome? My GP suggested I might have that - when the lower bowel decides it must suddenly expel its contents when the stomach signals to the brain there is food incoming - a normal process gone into overdrive. Theories are that certain, rich foods (like in restaurants) are more likely to trigger this over-reaction, ditto anxiety.

I have IBS and find talking Imodium (Loperamide) before going out for a meal helps greatly, although there are certain foods I avoid (onions, chilli, anything spicy, etc).

Holland & Barrett Activated Charcoal capsules are great for reducing gas and bloating.

Oh gosh I could have written that myself over these last few years OP. It's anxiety (even when you think you're not anxious it's there in the back of your head, worrying about needing the loo) and until that's under control your bowels will play havoc. I've had CBT and propanolol etc but nothing helped me, unfortunately I overuse imodium as at first 2 did the job but then I needed 3, then 4. Now I take up to 8 over a few hours if I need to be away from home for longer than 2 hours. It's an awful cycle. I only eat at home now as it's just too stressful to bother eating out, I also have a phobia of pooping in public toilets so that just adds to my anxiety. However I have now been diagnosed with bowel disease so I'm not sure all those years of 'it's just IBS' were correct in my case so always worth speaking to your GP if things get worse.

You need to gonto your doctor to be assessed for IBS and you need CBT to manage the anxiety.

Could it be Crohn’s?

My bowels have been like this for years. I realised it was worse when I’d been out for coffee, or ice cream, so I’ve cut out dairy products and caffeine. It is a little bit better than it was.

CBT for anxiety and citalopram cured my IBS! I suffered for years, I actually didn’t get the MH help with the IBS in mind (I’d not linked them and had rather resigned myself to a life of bowel issues) then one day I realised it was gone.

have this but mostly anxious peeing, going anywhere like the dentist i go about a dozen times, then calm down. Also had lots of tests for stomach issues and now looking at trigger foods or intolerances. Tried probiotic drinks to help guts but they really disagreed with me.
Have started doing CBT and have downloaded a few wellbeing type apps to see if they help. One thing to say is don't withdraw yourself from a social life as that will definitely make you worse.

I get this quite often too, not the gas but the need to poo. I have IBS and chronic diarrhoea. Certain foods make it worse, dairy and fried I find the worst so I avoid those while I’m out. Keep a food diary and see if anything in particular is triggering it.

I have this if I eat gluten.

Go to your doctor op, it needs investigating.

Its a relief to know others have this too. Mine is definitely anxiety related. I was wondering if it was peri menopause too.

I'm gobsmacked that so many other people suffer with this. For years I've believed I'm some sort of freak. People talk a lot about other symptoms of anxiety but never this.

Mine happens everytime I go somewhere especially somewhere new. Example, if we are taking dc out for the day you can bet money that as soon as we get on the motorway I get panicky and have to get dh to stop and find a loo. But on the way home I'm always ok. Fear of the unknown perhaps.

Another major trigger for me is going to my ds football matches on a Sunday. They play all over the place which includes travel, new places and a distinct lack of loos. I've always been fairly lucky in that there has been a toilet (some very grim) but recently we weren't to a game that was literally a pitch in the middle of nowhere. I got in such a state it was horrendous. I had to make an excuse and drive somewhere for the toilet and missed most of the game. I hate how badly it affects my life.

So far I've tried citalopram, CBT, meditation and breathing exercises. Nothing has worked. I'm listening to an audio book at the moment called The DARE Response which essentially tries to teach you to accept and even welcome your anxiety. It's a lot easier said than done when you feel like you're about to shit yourself.

Try acupuncture. Taking meds to bung you up can’t be good.
sorry you’re having this problem. My sis had similar and found it resolved post menopause

Peppermint tea works for me.

Get a notebook and be vigalent about recording symptoms, what and how much you ate and drank and what time.

See if you can see a pattern. Keep the diary going while you try different solutions. Good luck

I'm on Venlafaxine and propanolol.

They make an enormous difference.

For years a had this issue, and developed agoraphobia because I ended up scared to go anywhere. Then I started therapy and the medication.

It still happens occasionally. But for example before a long haul flight I'll take propanolol and imodium.

I sympathise. It's awful.

I would return to the GP. Take with you a list of everything you have already tried.

I think around the time of menopause it definitely gets worse, that’s where I’m at. I was diagnosed with IBS over 20 years ago but for many years I held down a stressful job. At one time I worked in a Court and would have to stand up and speak to the Judge in a packed Court room. I was also in a relationship that turned abusive. It was full on anxiety in every direction yet, for the most part, my bowels behaved. The worst times tended to be when I had my period.

Now I’m the most relaxed I’ve ever been. Wfh, no stressful relationship. But I am going through menopause. Sympathies to everyone going though this.

So sorry to hear of everyone's symptoms.

I would imagine the worst thing is finding a loo whilst out. I truly sympathise. I do not have a problem bowel but I could piss for Engjabd. Intact I have moaned about this very subject on MMumsnet.com before.

I was really angry before and after cinema trip at the lack jf facilities. The cinemas toilets were closed(broken) so wS a coffee shops, several shops were too small!