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Original poster

Gifting someone £40 in secret

46 replies

coffeetofunction · 19/12/2022 20:12

I have a friend that has found themselves in a different situation over Christmas, so I've decided to anonymous gift them £40 to help buy Christmas dinner... What I'm asking is it
A- insulting
B- thoughtful

I'd like to gift more but I'm not able too...

I've also included a little scratch card

I want absolutely nothing for it not nor will I ever tell them it came from me

OP posts:
Stopclutchingpearls · 19/12/2022 20:14

That’s so nice and lovely and think your friend might be chuffed but surprised and touched

LetUsPonce · 19/12/2022 20:15

B.
Lovely thing to do. What a good friend you are.

Ihateboris · 19/12/2022 20:17

What a lovely thing to do. She's lucky to have a friend like you x

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Christmas
rosemarysalter · 19/12/2022 20:18

Lovely. What will you do? Put cash in envelope?

MenaiMna · 19/12/2022 20:22

Make sure it's in an envelope & type a note (in case they know your handwriting) making it very obvious it's a gift/no obligation; so that they're not looking over their shoulder waiting for someone to claim back the money they've "found". It's sweet and thoughtful. It has happened to me before when things were hard and I was ever so grateful.

raspberrycordial · 19/12/2022 20:25

I did this in Covid for a family I knew were struggling with no furlough or government help (they don't know me-only in passing-probably don't even know my name), only one friend knows I did it (needed her to tell me which was their house). I included a card so they knew it was definitely for them and not an error. I really hope they didnt feel guilty or bad, it was a gesture that I hoped might relieve some pressure and I hope they never find out it was me.

Username6194 · 19/12/2022 20:29

Actually someone did this for me many years ago when I was a piss poor single mum who was too proud. They put cash in an envelope, a hamper of food for Xmas and wrapped presents for my kids- left in my doorstep.

To this day I have no idea who it was, I was immensely greatful and still tear up when I think about it.

Please do it, I'm certain they won't be insulted.

SippingSangriaInMyHead · 19/12/2022 20:29

If someone did this for me during hard times I would be crying happy tears. That’s such a thoughtful thing to do. You sound like a great friend.

SnuggleBuggleBoo · 19/12/2022 20:33

Hmm, I would probably include something on the note along the lines of 'you can Pay It Forward to another family in a year or two when times are easier' to help them feel less of a charity case. A lot of people feel really awkward about accepting handouts.

Annabananna1 · 19/12/2022 20:34

Nice idea

EarringsandLipstick · 19/12/2022 20:43

You're lovely OP. But I'd hate this personally - I wouldn't like getting money anonymously.

Instead I'd give her the cash in a card, just wishing her happy Christmas. It's a gift, and I'm sure she'll be delighted.

A number of years ago when my marriage had ended, I was working p/t & had very little money (but ok, managing). A friend gave me a gift of €50, and I really appreciated it. It was unexpected money, and I used it to get something nice for myself.

Original poster
coffeetofunction · 19/12/2022 20:44

Thank you for your replies I'm pleased it's not going to seem insulting. I've got my daughter to write a card and I intend to send it in the post so it's not traceable.

I think they would do it for someone else so I'm happy to do it for them

OP posts:
WTAFnojustno · 19/12/2022 20:46

Don't send it in the post now! It won't arrive in time, if ever 😬

But yes do it, it's a lovely thing to do.

Georgeskitchen · 19/12/2022 20:47

It's It's lovely thing to do, I would like to do this but I Don personally know anyone who is really struggling

BeaLola · 19/12/2022 20:48

I think it's a really lovely idea BUT please do not send in the post - it is unlikely to get there in time and could even get lost

I can understand you not wanting to post through the door but could your daughter (perhaps late when it's dark) ? Off re could you do it when you know they are out but then it's there on the mat when they return ?

It's a very thoughtful and kind gesture _,what a very kind friend you are

Adultchildofelderlyparents · 19/12/2022 20:53

It's a wonderful kind thing to do 💛 But yes as others say, if you send in the post it'll take a few weeks to arrive. I posted Christmas cards two weeks ago that still haven't arrived! If you are close enough to deliver then I'd do it in person albeit undercover.

WomanhoodIsABirthright · 19/12/2022 20:53

EarringsandLipstick · 19/12/2022 20:43

You're lovely OP. But I'd hate this personally - I wouldn't like getting money anonymously.

Instead I'd give her the cash in a card, just wishing her happy Christmas. It's a gift, and I'm sure she'll be delighted.

A number of years ago when my marriage had ended, I was working p/t & had very little money (but ok, managing). A friend gave me a gift of €50, and I really appreciated it. It was unexpected money, and I used it to get something nice for myself.

Giving it as a gift then obligates her (even if imaginary) to give a gift of equal value back, or feel bad that she hasn't.

Original poster
coffeetofunction · 19/12/2022 21:04

I could smuggle it in to our work post but I'd have to ask someone from admin to help and I don't want to involve anyone else.

Any other suggestions definitely appreciated?

OP posts:
Adultchildofelderlyparents · 19/12/2022 21:13

Is it someone you work with then? Could you just leave it in a card on their desk when no one is looking?

Brokendaughter · 19/12/2022 21:15

If you know her address can't you just stick it through her letter box?

I wouldn't trust the post to ever deliver it, or not until January if she is lucky.

TwoRockSalmonAndAHaporthOfChips · 19/12/2022 21:18

coffeetofunction · 19/12/2022 21:04

I could smuggle it in to our work post but I'd have to ask someone from admin to help and I don't want to involve anyone else.

Any other suggestions definitely appreciated?

Unfortunately it won’t get there before Christmas by Royal Mail - you’ve missed last posting, and they are on strike 23rd and 24th.

You’ll have to find a creative way to pop it through her letterbox! Can someone else do it for you while you and she are both at work?

WomanhoodIsABirthright · 19/12/2022 21:25

Make sure she hasn't got a ring doorbell if you post it yourself.

MadameMackenzie · 19/12/2022 21:27

EarringsandLipstick · 19/12/2022 20:43

You're lovely OP. But I'd hate this personally - I wouldn't like getting money anonymously.

Instead I'd give her the cash in a card, just wishing her happy Christmas. It's a gift, and I'm sure she'll be delighted.

A number of years ago when my marriage had ended, I was working p/t & had very little money (but ok, managing). A friend gave me a gift of €50, and I really appreciated it. It was unexpected money, and I used it to get something nice for myself.

Someone gave you money because they knew you were short and so you spent it on luxuries for yourself??? When you were struggling to survive???? Hmm

Lollypop701 · 19/12/2022 21:28

Don’t post cash, it goes missing’ quite often

katseyes7 · 19/12/2022 21:32

It's such a lovely, thoughtful thing to do. I've had friends help me out unexpectedly when l was struggling, albeit not anonymously. Their kindness made me cry, in a nice way.
I'm with some of the PP who suggest putting the money in a card (and not posting it just now if you can possibly get it to them another way) and I'd say I hope it comes in useful. And that maybe one day, if and when they're able to, to pay it forward, not necessarily financially, but somehow.
I hope you have a lovely Christmas, OP, and you can work out how to do it x