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Original poster

Don’t really want or need a job, but others make me feel bad, so thinking of pretending I have one that’s working from home

52 replies

Redrobinbobbing · 18/12/2022 19:39

dc at school
health issues
dh works long hours and all sorts of hours

ueybithers the At have loads of extended family support make comments to me that are clearly judging me for not working

I’m actually thinking of pretending I have a job
a working from home job or starting my own business

OP posts:
Mrsjayy · 18/12/2022 20:32

I'm disabled i don't work people used to ask me so I would just say no what with illness caring for the children my chronic pain etc etc etc I can't work, then I would wait for them mumbling an apology and be uncomfortable. Why you don't have a job is your business nobody else's but I can guarantee telling people why will stop them asking! But it's fine if you want to say you wfh if it's easier for you.

MadameDe · 18/12/2022 20:33

AreOttersJustWetCats · 18/12/2022 20:26

I agree!!

Show quote history

Definitely. So many people hate their jobs. I went through a phase of wanting to give up mu job and become a writer. I had the idea I would tell people I had an admin job - admin is so boring that literally no-one asks about it.

Original poster
Redrobinbobbing · 18/12/2022 20:36

Yeah was thinking of saying admin from home as literally no one will ask anything further !

then I’d just be vague and say oh it’s for a family member ….

OP posts:
Dacadactyl · 18/12/2022 20:38

Don't lie about it.

Parenting is a job in itself IMO. Be proud.

AreOttersJustWetCats · 18/12/2022 20:39

Redrobinbobbing · 18/12/2022 20:36

Yeah was thinking of saying admin from home as literally no one will ask anything further !

then I’d just be vague and say oh it’s for a family member ….

You be surprised how many people might ask follow up questions. Don't lie, it's not worth it.

Shinyandnew1 · 18/12/2022 20:40

No, I wouldn’t invent a job and then lie about it-that is really bizarre! I would just care less about what other people think about me.

Magentax · 18/12/2022 20:41

Mrsjayy · 18/12/2022 20:32

I'm disabled i don't work people used to ask me so I would just say no what with illness caring for the children my chronic pain etc etc etc I can't work, then I would wait for them mumbling an apology and be uncomfortable. Why you don't have a job is your business nobody else's but I can guarantee telling people why will stop them asking! But it's fine if you want to say you wfh if it's easier for you.

Why would they mumble an apology and be I comfortable? Genuinely sorry if I’m missing something - wouldn’t most people just say “oh right” or something? Asking what you do for work is a very standard, if boring, bit of small talk.

sitandbequiet · 18/12/2022 20:43

Don't lie about it, that's really daft and will catch up with you and then you really WILL be judged, and all for the right reasons, too.
Just own your life and choices and if they don't approve, fuck 'em I'm sure there will be stuff you don't approve of their lives, too.
DO NOT LIE ABOUT IT!!!

SaveMeCheezus · 18/12/2022 20:46

Why do you care what anyone else thinks?

Anyway I can guarantee that whatever they think about you not working is better than what they'd think when they learn you invented a job and lied to everyone, which is downright bizarre.

sitandbequiet · 18/12/2022 20:46

Admin work from home is a very attractive job for MANY people who will want to know the details, how you got it, how many hours, how is the pay, do you ever go to office and so on.... and then you will be flustered making up more lies.
Just say not working at the moment or looking after family and work on your self confidence.

sitandbequiet · 18/12/2022 20:47

Crafts is even worse, I don't think you are thinking it through. People will be like: aww I'd like to get some gifts what your shop is? Oh yeah I love Etsy or whatever platform, whats your business? Do you have business cards? What crafts do you do can I see pictures or do you have a website... it's a very very stupid idea to lie about your work.

Pineappleskies · 18/12/2022 20:49

I really understand this.

I don't think you're doing this out of an over focus on what other people think so much as just ending the tedious questions, suggestions and observations from ignorant people.

I'm in the do it camp. Also make up a really cool and weird job because it'll be more fun.

AreOttersJustWetCats · 18/12/2022 20:52

Pineappleskies · 18/12/2022 20:49

I really understand this.

I don't think you're doing this out of an over focus on what other people think so much as just ending the tedious questions, suggestions and observations from ignorant people.

I'm in the do it camp. Also make up a really cool and weird job because it'll be more fun.

The problem is though, lying will just lead to more tedious questions! (Which she will have to invent answers for)

Buzzinwithbez · 18/12/2022 20:53

What do you do with your time? Better to be yourself and just talk about that.

I hate the what do you do question, but it's usually just meant as a conversation starter/filler, so if you give them your interests it keeps the conversation flowing.
I don't work although I'm thinking about what to do next so usually just say exactly that - I'm thinking about what to do next but it needs to be something I really love.

tiggergoesbounce · 18/12/2022 20:55

Aww those sorts of people are soo annoying but please dont start an imaginary job (despite how much fun you could have ). As a previous said everyone in the family would have to get on board.

Although we dont talk about work in our circles really, more than how is work going which is met with a "good thanks" then we talk about other things. And we certainly dont judge those who choose their own lifestyle.

Octo5 · 18/12/2022 21:05

If you got a job you’d get comments about not having time for your DCs.

Unfortunately, mothers can’t win.

Ignore everyone’s opinion as no matter what you do someone will always try and have a dig.

WiddIytinks · 18/12/2022 21:13

I hate this OP.

I have rheumatoid arthritis and can't work. Some days I'm more visibly disabled than others (eg, some days I use a walking stick), so people often don't realise that I'm ill unless I tell them. And quite often it's none of their business.

I hate it at when I'm asked what I do. When DD was younger I used to say I was a SAHM and that usually did the trick. Later, I briefly said I was a housewife but almost every time I did I got a rude response. Now I tell people I sell vintage clothes online. I sell my old clothes and accessories on eBay every couple of months and they're pretty much all vintage, so it's only stretching the truth a little bit! And it shuts people up.

I know I shouldn't be ashamed of being unable to work but people make horrible assumptions. Because I often seem/look well, people can and do make judgements - that I'm just too lazy to work, that I scrounge off the state/DH (I don't claim anything, I wish I could), that I'm on the fiddle.

I would love to work. Really, really love to. I just can't.

MrsPelligrinoPetrichor · 18/12/2022 21:16

Copyrighting is a good one 😉

Luredbyapomegranate · 18/12/2022 21:16

AreOttersJustWetCats · 18/12/2022 19:58

I wouldn't lie. If you lie, you end up involving your whole family in the lie. Your DH will have to back you up by lying, as will your DC eventually. It's an awful example to set them.

Yeah this.

UsingChangeofName · 18/12/2022 21:31

I agree with @AreOttersJustWetCats

If you start lying you are going to look really strange when it starts coming untangled.

Own who you are. If you feel you need something else to feel fulfilled, then find some volunteering you can do from home, or at least during the times you are feeling well.

summergone · 18/12/2022 21:43

I wouldn't lie , I work with someone who pretended for years that her boyfriend worked and she slipped up that many times it was obvious he didn't . It made me wonder what else she lied about. They should understand your situation and if they don't then they aren't worth your time and worry.

ItsMeHiImTheProblem · 18/12/2022 21:47

I do this too. I have a hidden disability, but am fed up of explaining to people why I can't work at present, so just tell them I work from home. I know it's lying, but telling the truth makes me extremely stressed and then I just get more ill.

rebekahnorris · 18/12/2022 21:56

If anyone judges you for not working then you should really question why they are part of your life.

Ineedcrisps · 18/12/2022 22:18

I have a hidden disability, I say I’m taking a career break

Original poster
Redrobinbobbing · 19/12/2022 19:22

Thought about all you’ve said and decided find it why should I lie !!
I’m actually going to start making a few, and I mean few craft i teams to swell on Etsy/ebay

and I’ll do this and then I’ll say this is what I do

even if it’s homemade soaps/ bath bombs
and basically a load of old shite 😂😂

OP posts: