I feel awkward breastfeeding in front of men. How do I get over it

[Fallingwhere]

I am extremely shy and awkward person. I have been breastfeeding for few months but when with other people apart from my husband, sis or mum I hid myself or cover up to feed. I am getting annoyed of feeling awkward or self conscious and always having to hid. I feel awkward specially in front of men. How do I find confidence to just feed my baby in front of people?
I just cant carry on hiding myself in another room or try and cover up for 2 years or potentially 4 years!

I never did, always took myself off, or turned away and kept child under a muslin for my privacy those odd occasions I did BF near others. This suited me fine and I'm not bothered that I didn't bf in front of others

You won't have to for 2-4 years because at some point the baby eats more solids than milk and you're only feeding at times you tend to be at home anyway.

I have heard a tip to feed in front of a mirror? Then you will see what it's like for other people. Many people won't even notice you are feeding.

Exposure- as in, the more you do it the less you care. I gave it a serious think, decided that anyone who cared was an old bigot, then put my best Paddington bear stare on in case it was needed. It's like, once I'd mentally prepared myself, I no longer cared.

The only one that nearly made me hide was my teen aged BiL. But I gritted my teeth...

Get your partner to take a picture of you while you are feeding from where a visitor might sit, it helps to show that what you can see is entirely different to what anyone else can see, and most of the time just looks like you are cuddling baby.

But you need to be comfortable and baby's feed very frequently for a relatively short time so do what you need to to and try not to worry about others.

Whats wrong with just using a blanket if you say you did that before? Or wear clothing where your not exposed so much?

This is only a problem if you're at a point where you can't breastfeed in the same room at all, and the baby is going hungry.

If you prefer to feed privately then just do that, I never breasted in front of anyone ... (apart from DH) personally I found it a good excuse to go and have some quiet time if we had visitors etc. I was lucky in that DS was happy with a 'schedule' so I could plan my time around breast feeds.

I found men didn't notice even if I was sitting right beside them. I used to wear a pregnancy bump band under my top to hide my tummy (and keep it warm)

plenty of 2-4 year olds who still breastfeed would want milk outside of the home! For comfort or nourishment

I don't see any issue in covering up when BF. If you feel more comfortable, baby is ok and others will likely feel more comfortable, then I don't see the harm.

Hey! Have you tried the one up one down clothing method? So wear a vest top under a jumper or a top. That way you pull down the vest and pull up the top and there’s just a small gap for baby to feed and no one can really see anything apart from baby.

if it’s more a confidence issue - genuinely after 1.5 years you realise that no one really notices or cares you’re feeding. If anyone does notice, most people think how great it is that we can feed our babies! Could you try little steps?

Honestly, I just sucked it up despite how uncomfortable I felt because needs must. I lived with my parents at the time and am sure my dad and brother have seen far more of me than they, or I ever wanted them too. They never mentioned it and neither did I much like my mum being at the birth. I think because they were supportive and chilled feeding out and about infront of strangers became a non issue, I'll never see those people again so what does it really matter. You have to get in the mindset that it's natural, it's what breasts were made for and there's plenty more boob exposed on beaches all over the world.

I BF for 3 years in total don't think I would have if I couldn't get on with my everyday life. A PP is right, as the baby gets older you can postpone feeding to a more suitable time and place although this does come after the phase of them getting distracted and turning to look at something else across the room either taking your nipple with them or leaving you exposed

I was comfortable feeding but only with a scarf just draped - you don't have to become comfortable with being completely uncovered. There are feeding covers of different types.

Dont pressure yourself too hard - how old is your baby?

That would be parental choice though because by that age you can (usually) choose to limit where/when without issue.

You can't limit when a newborn feeds without risking harm.

I don't agree with the posters telling you to just hide yourself away. There is something liberating about getting to the point when you just don't care. And often you'll want to feed baby while still chatting to people. Find some clothes that you don't feel too exposed in. A vest you can pull down under a loose top works for me. Other people will barely see anything. Your technique will improve. Just do it; you'll get used to it.

These days, I only feel awkward when the other person looks uncomfortable. But tbh that's their freaking problem!

I felt similar at the start and B-shirts were really great. The amount of people who came right up and patted her head and thought she was asleep was actuality astounding - even my own sister, who breastfed all of her own for years!

Now I just do the one up one down method and don't bother with special clothing. But at the start I needed that extra help by wearing feeding clothes.

I breastfeed my ds for 1 year and my dd for 2.5 years. I always used one of those covers you put over your head when out and about as I hated breastfeeding clothes so always has to basically take my entire top off. I always felt comfortable breastfeeding everywhere with this.

Breastfeeding tops like this are great because r

Smallshow Women's Viscose Nursing Tops Maternity Long Sleeve Breastfeeding Shirts amzn.eu/d/9fslID6

Nursing tops or one up, one down or a muslin - all are fine. As pp have said, people don't even notice. It gets trickier when they are bigger and prone to ripping off a covering or yanking your boob out of your top but tbh by that stage they are most likely on solids so you can stave off a feed with actual food and water until you get somewhere more private. I do sympathise though op, I was similar with my first and did a lot of car feeds (our rear windows are tinted) and fed in spare rooms a lot when visiting friends and family. On my third now and don't care - I'll feed anywhere and no one has said a word!

Thankyou for all the advices guys! I have been EBF for 2 months and I was just getting annoyed that I had to find a private room or cover up when in public. DS tries to pull the cover off which can get tricky when I am holding him too. So I really wanted to feel confident to just whip it out without care lol

I will definitely practice in front of the mirror and try the double layer idea!

I used to cover his whole body so he used to kick it or pull it with his hands but I recently saw a lady that just covered the babies head with small muslin so I will give that a try too!

Me too. I enjoyed taking 15 minutes out and having complete privacy.

I don’t want to see a 4 year old breastfeeding in public, sorry.

But what does that have to do with anything?

Men really are not at all interested in breasts which are being used for their intended natural purpose. It’s women who are judgemental about breastfeeding, as demonstrated above.

Tough? If someone chooses to breastfeed their 4 year old in public they don’t need your permission.

OP, the most important thing is that you’re comfortable. I only breastfeed openly in front of people I feel comfortable with. For everyone else I use a muslin or go somewhere private because it’s my body and my decision whether my breasts are visible to other people 🤷‍♀️. I’m not doing it for anyone else.

If you don’t want to hide, practising in front of a mirror sounds like a great idea.

Of course they don’t need my permission but it’s too old and frankly a bit odd.