I feel awkward breastfeeding in front of men. How do I get over it

[Fallingwhere]

I am extremely shy and awkward person. I have been breastfeeding for few months but when with other people apart from my husband, sis or mum I hid myself or cover up to feed. I am getting annoyed of feeling awkward or self conscious and always having to hid. I feel awkward specially in front of men. How do I find confidence to just feed my baby in front of people?
I just cant carry on hiding myself in another room or try and cover up for 2 years or potentially 4 years!

This is a thread about helping the OP feel comfortable breastfeeding her newborn in public, not the place for you to air your antediluvian views on extended breastfeeding. Take the goady posts elsewhere.

I had this brilliant little cover up - like an apron that went around the neck and baby could feed under it. No one could see a thing (also good as shade).

Very similar to this one

Yes this is similar to what I used. I never found muslins any good as they would always just fall off. My babies would almost inevitably fall asleep under these too which was a bonus.

Wear a loose cardigan, and wrap that around instead of a cover... they bring attention to what you are doing!

When DD2 was 2 months old I was feeding her at my best friends daughters Christening, best friends father came over to chat with me and didn't notice I was feeding for 10 minutes until best friend came over. It really isn't as noticeable as you think.

(With older babies/toddlers, I actually found it a lot easier to find a quiet spot as they get too distracted in busy places. But its five minutes rather than 30mins)

Flop a muslin nonchalantly over your shoulder then flop some of it down so it covers most of your breast without making a big thing about it. Then there’s hardly anything to see anyway while you get used to whopping out your bosoms in male company. After a few times you won’t care any more and you’ll be able to get them out without even thinking.

And maybe avoid these, hehehe

Cuppasoup, I bf for so long with my last one we had an incident in an IKEA queue where he was sitting in the trolley at bosom height, and he lifted up my top to help himself, much to the amusement of the assembled company. I felt that was a step too far and told him he needed to ask nicely before helping himself, and certainly not in places like IKEA queues. He got the point. It’s like someone rummaging through your handbag uninvited

Going to a breastfeeding group can really help if you have one locally, seeing other mums feed in public and being able to practice there can help build confidence of feeding in public.

agree feeding facing a mirror so you can see what other do is a good idea. Many mums find that once they do those first few public feeds it just becomes completely normal, other people are going about their own lives and rarely notice.

I'd avoid the apron things, they draw more attention to it.

I always did one up one down for tops so you only have to get a tiny piece of nipple out (gets a lot easier as they get older) and I used to have a breastfeeding scarf thing that turned into a cover if I needed it, but most of the time I'd take myself off or try to pre-feed. At my in-laws I'd go outside and feed in the car. Yes ideally they wouldn't judge but they did so it was easier to do that than it was to be called 'weird' and given odd looks.

I didn't get a cover (one of the apron things) until a few months in with my second child and its one of those things that I don't know why I didn't do sooner and would definitely would if i went back in time!

I'd taken on all the messages about it being nothing to be ashamed of and how could use clothes or a scarf or muslin to mostly cover up, and it felt like a point of principle not to hide away or have a special cover. But my kids were fussy feeders who often kept pulling away or left me with milk spurting out! And scarves, muslins etc often fell out of place and just seemed like an extra layer of faff. And mine took ages to feed so if I hid myself away somewhere I missed out on so much.

After finding one family get together with the in laws particular awkward, I brought a (big) cover up for a wedding and it was a revelation in how much easier I found it! I find the comments about drawing attention odd - I wasn't trying to keep it secret, just feel less self conscious about suddenly revealing everything or people not realising and then getting awkward when they did realise after getting in for a good look at baby!

What I'm saying I suppose is there is nothing to be embarrassed about with breastfeeding, but equally there us nothing wrong with not feeling you want to do it completely publicly either! You do what's right for you, your feelings and your boundaries!

Disclaimer- I only fed for 6 months or so so can't comment on how a cover would work with a toddler!

Yes mine were fussy feeders which was why those apron things were so useful. Muslins only really work when they are very young and still and breastfeeding tops are often quite frumpy, after a few months I wanted to get back into my regular clothes. I didn't care about people knowing what I was doing though, just didn't want them to see me topless.

I bought lots of second hand breastfeeding clothes that generally enabled me to cover up more. I still never fed in front of males I knew though. Out and about ie in a cafe would be fine. Carried on like that for two years with each. Personally I didn't want my handsy on and off nipple babies exposing my breasts to people in general, and felt much more comfortable using muslins. Unless in a very open space I also went in another room if men were about.

I had a cover thing which was great as dc2 was so nosy that any sound would have him
whipping around to see what was going on. At least under the cover he was concentrating on feeding. Plus I used it as Muslim, emergency changing mat, seat cover etc

I've taught a Lucky , it's fine but spell it this way. One of the Tomlinson sisters has just named her son Lucky

Doesn't bother me. My first instinct is to feed my son. I don't even cover up

I did one up one down with my tops. Most people barely noticed I was feeding.

@BoffinMum another reason not to!