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Original poster

Anyone else not had a single night out over Christmas ?

101 replies

Eatentoomanyroses · 15/12/2022 22:10

My social media is awash with Christmas parties and nights out. I work from home so no works do, I don’t have any friends, no relatives nearby to babysit so dh and I can go out. Feel a bit fed up. I love clothes, makeup and getting a bit dressed up as shallow as it sounds so this is making me feel a bit fed up. Anyone else?

OP posts:
NewToWoo · 16/12/2022 08:01

Can you invite people over? with all the train strikes loads of outings are cancelled. Just ask a handful of neighbours or local mums for drinks, and get dressed up.

MintJulia · 16/12/2022 08:01

Me. I've had a works lunch and an hour skating at Somerset House (brilliant fun) but no evenings out.

Single mum, wfh most of the time, doing twelve hour days at the moment, plus that would mean leaving DS on his own which isn't fair.

I'd planned to take DS out for a Xmas dinner at a country hotel but three new tyres scuppered that idea. Ho hum !

MintJulia · 16/12/2022 08:04

But you have a DH, presumably two incomes.

Find a sitter, book a table, make it happen. 😊

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Events & celebrations
PatientlyWaiting21 · 16/12/2022 08:14

I’ve had one night out with two of my best mates, said no to any others, we have a one year old and I don’t want to waste precious time with my head down the loo - which is what would happen as I take it too far everytime 😂

Funkyslippers · 16/12/2022 08:21

I haven't had a Christmas works do in years. The last one I went to I was bored rigid and couldn't wait to leave. Having a few meals/drinks out with family and friends over for drinks but that's it and fine with me

warofthemonstertrucks · 16/12/2022 08:25

I've got two planned and I only really want to go to one. I was saying to dh last night that usually I'd be out all the time this time of year. Can't be bothered at all this time around.

Pictograph · 16/12/2022 08:28

Everyone I know uses paid babysitters, either a teenage child of a friend/neighbour, or a nursery worker earning a bit of extra cash or a website like sitters.com.

Figgypudding123 · 16/12/2022 08:37

Haven't been to a Christmas do since Cmas 2018.

2019 - had chest infection
2020 - nothing due to Covid etc
2021 - party got moved to Feb because of Covid
2022 - party moved to Jan because of train strikes

I'd give my right arm for a Christmas party....

Divebar2021 · 16/12/2022 09:00

@Afterfire

My comments about friends wasn’t intended as a criticism or even particularly directed at the OP. It’s just something I’ve noticed on MN a lot. Family you have no control over and I can see someone may have no-one there but friends are your support network and your community. The people who can grab your kids from school if you’re running late or who know a good electrician. You don’t need money to have friends, you don’t need to be doing anything flash. Honestly if I was feeling a bit sad about having no-one to go out with I would make that my priority for the New Year. I hope everyone finds some good company and cheer this Christmas.. whatever form that comes in.

qpmz · 16/12/2022 09:20
  1. It's not shallow to love getting dressed up and putting make up on. There would be millions of shallow people out there if so!
  1. Why isn't your work doing a Christmas do? Just because you wfh, doesn't mean no party? Send a Teams message and suggest a drink!
  1. I don't believe you've got no friends - you sound social and friendly to me. Message some old friends or Mum pals from nursery and organise something. Your DH can stay home with toddler and he can go out another night.

It's sooo important to let your hair down once in a while!

MardyMincepie · 16/12/2022 09:20

I am recovering from being really ill so have missed three Christmas get togethers and am mighty peeved. We live hundreds of miles from relatives and many live overseas.

We made friends at ante natal class and did babysitting swaps, we also did some babysitting swaps with neighbours who we became friends with. We met because we got the same bus to work. These friendships have lasted and our kids are all 18 to 21 now. I also made friends with a woman through a hobby and her teen DD babysat for us.

shivermetimbers77 · 16/12/2022 09:35

I can relate OP: I work full time and recently became a single parent.. I used to be very sociable in my teens and twenties, always off having parties and dates. However now it’s expensive
to get a babysitter and my son doesn’t sleep well so I just don’t go out in the evening. I am seeing it as just a phase in my life and trying to embrace it: I speak to friends on the phone (when I have the energy…) , go out at the weekend in the daytime with friends who have kids to get that social fix and I know that one day when my son is older I will be able to have nights out again … but yes I do love a sparkly dress.. I find myself very envious of all those lovely gowns on Strictly, not that I would ever wear one of those down the pub 😂 But they look so glamorous while I am sitting around in PJs and a fluffy dressing gown ..

supertato23 · 16/12/2022 09:37

Nope was meant to go for my works christmas party last night! But snow prevented me from doing that. Have my two year old daughter up until the rest of Christmas

AfterEightMintyCedric · 16/12/2022 10:13

Pretty much the same here. Recently self employed with just one client atm...supposed to going to that do tomorrow which won't be dressing up and I'm still a bit on the fence as I'm getting over a horrendous cold/cough.

Best mate is coming round for a catchup next week and it'll be me, Teen DD and mum on Christmas Day.

No partner or extended family, not much social life as spent the previous 2 years caring for the olds through the pandemic. It's all a bit boring tbh.

CrapBucket · 16/12/2022 10:21

My suggestion is to get your far away family to have DC overnight, and go out with your DH.

In the new year, start/join a class whatsapp group and be brutally honest, e.g. 'I've been meaning for ages to suggest a night out - I moved here during covid and would love to get more settled in and have some nights out, would anyone be up for that?'

caringcarer · 16/12/2022 10:40

Can you find a really nice restaurant that does take out delivery. We have a fabulous Italian. Occasionally we order for home delivery then set table Nicely and dress up and dine together with DC safely in bed. Soft music in background and plenty of wine. Sometimes we even dance to music. We do like going out too and luckily my adult DC babysits for foster child so we do get out. Excited as this year we are out on New Year's Eve and will have nice Italian meal delivered to adult D's and foster son.

lieselotte · 16/12/2022 10:41

Not me but that was through choice. I could have gone to a Christmas dinner with my running club, and chose not to go to two work do's.

Stillthewrongsideof40 · 16/12/2022 11:00

Yes, feeling the same way, stay at home mum, one of the things I miss the most about not working is the Christmas night outs. I do have friends to go out with but it’s not easy trying to organize a get together when they all work and have their works nights etc. My own Hubby has a high flying job so has numerous Christmas events in 5 star hotels some of which include overnight stays this year. He just got back from attending one in London yesterday and off into Edinburgh today for a Christmas lunch followed by a night on the piss with clients then another Christmas lunch next week with his own staff.

Ijuststoodonlego · 16/12/2022 11:00

Same here OP. We took the children on a mini weekend break so we could go to the evening entertainment and feel like we had a bit of a party (in a sad way). It was knackering packing for it plus the travel and we were all ill (pre-booked, so no money back if cancelled). Enjoyed it still.

It was a festive atmosphere and nice to all be together. We don't get baby sitting and everyone is busy with their own stuff. We just accept that's the way it is. If we want to, we can get music on in the house and all have a laugh that way instead.

DH and I are happy to get a conversation in when all DCs in bed. It's not optimal but with time it will get easier. Lots to be thankful for. Reading with interest what everyone else in similar situation does.

Original poster
Eatentoomanyroses · 16/12/2022 12:47

@CrapBucket there’s only my mum family wise and she wouldn’t be able to have them as she works and is a carer for an elderly relative. My sister works abroad and my brother isn’t capable of looking after a goldfish tbh.
Re the class WhatsApp group, I have suggested things like that before and even arranged a night out a few years ago but the few willing people ended up cancelling. It’s also very cliquey with lots of people knowing each other from their own school days.
@qpmz there was a few drinks arranged after work but my colleagues all live in London. I’m one of two that works completely from home In the north west.
I’m not a shrinking violet. When I moved here I arranged lots of play dates and was very pro active as I wanted my dc to make friends. This worked very well and the dc have no problems in that area but a few years ago all those play dates ended up being drop and runs so nothing ever came of those in terms of friendships for me.
I will keep trying in other areas though. I probably need a new job that isn’t so isolating.

OP posts:
Original poster
Eatentoomanyroses · 16/12/2022 12:54

@Ijuststoodonlego you sound very positive. You’re right. Lots to be thankful for. We actually did book a festive break with the kids but the kids had a sickness bug so we had to cancel. These things happen with kids I guess!

OP posts:
LottieTx · 16/12/2022 13:07

I’m not OP. I work remotely so the main office who will have a night out is around a 5 hour train journey away and an overnight stay which they won’t pay for. I’ve got no friends so nothing sorted there either. It’s rubbish!

Wishawisha · 16/12/2022 13:13

I haven’t, no, but not something I miss much so that’s the difference. We have had friends round for Christmas drinks (while DC all play together) which I prefer really.

whowantssmore · 16/12/2022 13:17

Nope, I'm skint. I am supposed to be going for dinner & drinks with some friends tomorrow evening. I'm going to have to make up an excuse why I can't go. I'll probably say one of the kids isn't feeling well. I'm sad but I just can't afford it.

SylviasMotherSaid · 16/12/2022 13:21

The train strikes are on when my work Xmas do was meant to be and it was extortionate my DP has that awful virus which is going around so my sequin dress and other festive outfits I got off Vinted will probably stay in wardrobe for another year . Would just love the opportunity to get dressed up and take nice photos ( I know very first world problem but hey Ho I’ve had the year from hell )