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Original poster

Anyone else not had a single night out over Christmas ?

101 replies

Eatentoomanyroses · 15/12/2022 22:10

My social media is awash with Christmas parties and nights out. I work from home so no works do, I don’t have any friends, no relatives nearby to babysit so dh and I can go out. Feel a bit fed up. I love clothes, makeup and getting a bit dressed up as shallow as it sounds so this is making me feel a bit fed up. Anyone else?

OP posts:
Atmywitsend29 · 15/12/2022 22:38

I've worked for 13 years and never once attended a work Christmas party.
I work with 2 teams in my role and was invited to both Christmas nights out. I was off sick and didn't go to either 😂

DoubleShotEspresso · 15/12/2022 22:39

Yes me too. But thinking about it I've not had a night out all year so no surprises here really

locomum83 · 15/12/2022 22:39

OP I can completely relate to this. My DH had his staff do last weekend and we actually had childcare for the whole night too and I sat at home. Like you I have a wardrobe with lots of clothes, love getting dressed up and makeup etc, I just felt so left out. I also have no friends really and work on my own. It's crap and lonely at times so I completely understand

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Events & celebrations
Almondier · 15/12/2022 22:40

The Christmas Party Dresses features baffle me- I never go to any parties, and it’s so cold in our house, it’s thermal vests, layers, jumpers, hats and mittens that we are wearing. Hardly sparkly glamour.

DuncanBiscuits · 15/12/2022 22:41

No party for me this year, but I’ve seen friends separately, for lunch etc.

No need for party dresses at all!

ReadingGeniuses · 15/12/2022 22:41

Even worse, I had plenty planned which I have had to cancel because DC1 was ill, then DC2, then me, then DC2 again, then because of the snow, then because of the strike. I didn't get to attend a single thing, and yes it's annoyed me too. Sympathies!

NoDairyNoProblem · 15/12/2022 22:44

@Eatentoomanyroses how old are your DC? Mum friends can be a godsend, through groups, activities, school gate/events etc.

Figgypuddingpiggyfudding · 15/12/2022 22:55

I don't ever go out unless it's to the supermarket, running errands or for a walk with my toddler.

Can't remember when I last got a bit dressed up and had an evening out! I see the sparkly clothes in the shops and think, ooh thats what I would have worn when I was a young, fancy free, party girl.

I'm now a dried out flump but hey, I had a Chinese for dinner, saw Father Christmas go past our house on his sleigh and am in bed wearing my cosy socks. Life is good.

Original poster
Eatentoomanyroses · 15/12/2022 22:55

@NoDairyNoProblem they are 9, 8 and 2. I’ve not had a lot of luck with the whole mum
friends thing. I only moved to the area a few years ago and everyone I meet seems to already have a very full quota of friends ( it’s a smallish community too). I go to lots of playgroups etc and lots of people chat away to me and I’ve tried to be brave and had a few round for coffee and play dates type thing but that’s as far as it goes.

OP posts:
Afterfire · 15/12/2022 22:57

Dh and I haven’t had a night out or anything socially in the evening now for 10 years - since we had Ds who has autism and learning difficulties. There is no way we could leave him with a babysitter and to be honest both of us are too exhausted to want to go out. It is what it is… (we have zero family to help too). The idea of going out full stop is just totally alien to us now. Occasionally dh will have a day off work when Ds is at school and we go somewhere for lunch together. And we try not to fall asleep at the table…!

Original poster
Eatentoomanyroses · 15/12/2022 22:57

@locomum83 that’s rubbish- how come you didn’t end up going? Did DH go?

OP posts:
Original poster
Eatentoomanyroses · 15/12/2022 23:01

@Afterfire relate to the exhaustion. Anytime me and dh have managed to go out which I think has been twice since we had our last we’ve been out an hour and we’re practically asleep by 9:30 and wanting to come home.

OP posts:
locomum83 · 15/12/2022 23:02

Eatentoomanyroses · 15/12/2022 22:57

@locomum83 that’s rubbish- how come you didn’t end up going? Did DH go?

It was a staff only event sadly

Afterfire · 15/12/2022 23:04

Eatentoomanyroses · 15/12/2022 23:01

@Afterfire relate to the exhaustion. Anytime me and dh have managed to go out which I think has been twice since we had our last we’ve been out an hour and we’re practically asleep by 9:30 and wanting to come home.

💐❤️

MakkaPakkas · 15/12/2022 23:07

I'm just back from a pretty mediocre works do if it makes you feel any better

bellamountain · 15/12/2022 23:13

Are there any hobbies you can take up in the new year as a way to meet new people? Could be a team sport? Netball is very sociable and often leads to nights out.

Original poster
Eatentoomanyroses · 15/12/2022 23:28

@bellamountain it’s a good idea and I have thought of that. I know a lot of the mums around here do play sport together but I think I would definitely embarrass myself. I’m not in the slightest bit sporty and again, there’s a childcare issue. I look after my toddler all day while dh works and then I do my work in the evenings when he takes over. We can’t afford nursery fees at the moment.

OP posts:
Divebar2021 · 15/12/2022 23:29

I don’t understand the “no friends “ thing at all. There are so many threads on MN where posters are in a sticky situation and they’ll say they have no friends or family. It’s a bit boggling to me and I’m by no means a social butterfly. That should be the New Years resolutions for some people. That and finding a reliable babysitter.

Original poster
Eatentoomanyroses · 15/12/2022 23:35

@Divebar2021 it’s mind boggling to you that people don’t have friends? It can happen very easily even to people who are pretty normal and nice. I do have family. They just don’t live here and they all work but some people have been in the care system or abused and don’t have contact with family.

OP posts:
thebunker · 15/12/2022 23:42

I haven't had a night out since my DD was born 4.5 years ago! It doesn't bother me - even before DD was born I spent most nights out doing date nights with DH than going out with friends, so now I just spend nights in with DH. I'm not a particularly sociable person. It would be nice to go out with DH once in a while but now we've had another baby, she doesn't sleep through and still wakes for a night feed so wouldn't want to use a babysitter until she sleeps through. I'm a bit funny about having a babysitter in my house anyway.

We do take the kids to the theatre, baby raves and family discos so we get to have fun trips out sometimes (just during the day!).

NoDairyNoProblem · 16/12/2022 07:46

Eatentoomanyroses · 15/12/2022 22:55

@NoDairyNoProblem they are 9, 8 and 2. I’ve not had a lot of luck with the whole mum
friends thing. I only moved to the area a few years ago and everyone I meet seems to already have a very full quota of friends ( it’s a smallish community too). I go to lots of playgroups etc and lots of people chat away to me and I’ve tried to be brave and had a few round for coffee and play dates type thing but that’s as far as it goes.

Good on you for trying, it’s not always easy putting yourself out there. We moved when DC3 was 2 and I found the funded nursery years were the time I made mum friends. DC1&2 were in school, I worked 3 days and volunteered to help with every trip, read to the class, go a walk etc going. By the Christmas I had a few coffee mates and by the summer we had a night out.
Small communities can be really hard and I hate the ‘my quota is full’ brigade - there’s always room for one more!

FermisLeftFoot · 16/12/2022 07:50

Yep, my first Xmas parties in ages for various reasons and I ended up so ill I missed the whole lot. Predictably, just as it’s all over, i’m a lot better. At least I (hopefully) will be well for xmas day!

KangarooKenny · 16/12/2022 07:52

I’ve not had a single night out this year, and neither do I want one !

Afterfire · 16/12/2022 07:55

Divebar2021 · 15/12/2022 23:29

I don’t understand the “no friends “ thing at all. There are so many threads on MN where posters are in a sticky situation and they’ll say they have no friends or family. It’s a bit boggling to me and I’m by no means a social butterfly. That should be the New Years resolutions for some people. That and finding a reliable babysitter.

Making friends requires a lot of energy, time and commitment. Things many people just don’t have at the moment. And money - people say it doesn’t need money but it does, to travel to places to meet, for the odd coffee, to meet for lunch etc. Even buying a few extra things to have at home is an expense many people can’t afford right now. Sometimes friends are also another hassle - I can barely keep up with my own life let alone find the time for other peoples.

We don’t have any family - both dh and I come from abusive family backgrounds and he has no contact at all with any of his family. None. I did have contact with my abusive mother, she died in 2019. Apart from that I have no other family. It is literally just me, dh and the dc.

MotherWol · 16/12/2022 07:59

@Divebar2021 I’m friendly with plenty of people through school and work, but when it comes to actual friends to go down the pub with, I don’t really have anyone. A lot of my friends have moved out of London in the last few years, and I haven’t yet progressed any of the school gate relationships into actual nights out.

None of my family live nearby, so hiring a sitter easily adds £15/hour onto the cost of a night out anyway. so for now, I’ll be at home in the evening I guess!