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Original poster

Can’t stop thinking about those little boys

66 replies

Christmaskiss · 15/12/2022 06:21

Feel so tearful after waking up and reading that the 6 year old has also died. Such a very dreadful thing to happen. I don’t know what the point of this post is but thinking of them all ❤️

OP posts:
pompomsandtinsel · 15/12/2022 07:25

I really don't want to hear anyone saying "I can't believe they were out alone" it's very judgy and not the time. I actually don't think there is a right time for that.

Largethighsbadeyes · 15/12/2022 07:27

pompomsandtinsel · 15/12/2022 07:25

I really don't want to hear anyone saying "I can't believe they were out alone" it's very judgy and not the time. I actually don't think there is a right time for that.

This!!

Not the time to judge

RNBrie · 15/12/2022 07:32

I don't think there's any evidence they were alone, just a lot of speculation. It sounds like plenty of adults tried to get to them. Only one family has consented to being identified so there are only details about one boy.

I'm with you OP, I cannot stop thinking about them and their families. I'm sort of glad there are other people doing the same, makes me feel less weird.

OhWelllWhatever · 15/12/2022 08:00

OP has started a thread to express her sadness and sympathy for the families and some posters still can't help themselves with the "not my child" "accident waiting to happen" comments.

You'll no doubt get calls of grief vultures as well. Yes, god forbid people feel sad over the death of children.

Unbelievably crass and insensitive especially when you consider these people are most likely parents, but I guess it helps them distance themselves from the awfulness of it all. But then surely they can appreaciate how earth shattering it would be to lose a child and extend some kind of empathy - I guess that's too much to ask.

Anyway, I digress. It's a desperately sad situation and I can totally understand your feelings op. Sometimes events just stay with you and this is one of them.

Thecomfortador · 15/12/2022 08:03

Yes this has really upset me and I am normally quite hardened to the news. I just want to go back in time and do something to stop it happening and feel really powerless. Thinking of those boys and their families.

itsnowjoke · 15/12/2022 08:05

I think you can feel desperately sad for the children and also ask if and why such young children were out on their own!

BernadetteRostankowskiWolowitz · 15/12/2022 08:53

I think some of them were 11 - that seems an OK age to walk round the park? We gave no idea if the 8yo and 6yo were with the 11yos or with grown ups.

ChaToilLeam · 15/12/2022 09:12

It is desperately, desperately sad. Was so hoping that the wee lad would make it.

Inastatus · 15/12/2022 09:18

Me too OP. I was clinging on to hope that the 6 year old would make it and was in tears last night when I heard he hadn’t. Such unbearable grief for the families.

whatdayaknow · 15/12/2022 09:26

It is horrendous. I imaginbe they six year old must have been with an elder brother. I don't even know how you begin to process it. The poor families. I too can't stop thinking about it. However, human strength surprises you. I have a friend whose baby was killed by a random dog years ago. I thought she would have to be sedated but she refused saying she needed to feel and remember. She was so strong! She was amazing. You cannot get over the death of your child. She said she just learnt to live with it but never felt whole again. So sad.

Bananarama21 · 15/12/2022 09:27

It's such an awful tragedy. As a school swimming teacher I hope from this we can better educate children. We do cover dangers like this in our water safety sessions. I'm hoping the schools and parents will also help educate aswell. The one thing what was so extremely worrying was the other boy went to rescue the other boys. We talk at great length in our water safety lessons never to enter the water to rescue someone but to raise the alarm and get help. This hasn't been covered in the media. I just hope others don't think its ok to go in and help and utilmately cost their life. Which has been the case here. Years ago there used to be educational videos but unfortunately you don't see it these days. I do think as a country we don't do enough to raise awareness of the dangers around water.

DashingWhiteSergeant · 15/12/2022 09:30

ApolloandDaphne · 15/12/2022 06:31

My DD died when she was aged 5 in terrible circumstances. She would have been 32 now. I can tell you first hand that you do learn to live with it. It's always there but the rest of your life grows up around it so it is no longer quite as prominent as it was. These parents will be hurting badly right now but they will, with the right support, be able to recover to some extent. I know it is a cliche but it takes time. I really feel for them right now.

Show quote history

I am so sorry for your loss, and by the ages I think I know the terrible circumstances you describe.

if so, having to grieve when in the glare of a spotlight is an additional burden too far.

I am glad you have found peace.

Inastatus · 15/12/2022 09:38

I’ve just read that the 6 and 8 year olds were brothers 😢

crimbocountdown · 15/12/2022 09:39

I had heard on local social media pages that some of the boys were brothers but could be hearsay. Desperately tragic and sad

I know people will ask about why they were out on their own but I remember being their age and generally roamed around a close knit community - as that is - with friends in groups without supervision. It might be unusual nowadays for a lot of parents to allow it but it's still the "norm" in many communities

Greyarea12 · 15/12/2022 09:40

I'm with you OP. My dd is 10 and I just can't even begin to imagine the unbearable pain these families must be in right now. It is awful and I have found myself thinking about these poor wee boys, their families and everyone who tried to help quite often over the past few days. Absolute tragedy.

@Bananarama21 I have heard of a few schools raising it with the children and speaking to them about the dangers of water/frozen water. I'm in Scotland and our local fire service have put out an information leaflet which has been circulated around the schools and all parents. I have sat my 10 Yr old down and spoken with her about just how dangerous water / frozen water can be, especially because we live near a big lake that is right next to a big play park and she has recently started to go to this park with her friends without adults.

ApolloandDaphne · 15/12/2022 12:35

Thank you @DashingWhiteSergeant I think you have guessed correctly how she died. It's not been easy and I know these poor parents will be suffering terribly right now. I hope they get professional support and maybe find support from each other as we did.

Boating123 · 15/12/2022 12:39

I heard the 10 year old lived opposite and ran out to help and then the ice broke.

BrewandBiscuit · 15/12/2022 12:48

It’s absolutely horrific. I heard it in the radio in the car and my son asked what happened. I told him some children had fallen through the ice and died and he just never ever walk on ice or go near open water. I dropped him at school, got back in the car and just thought how horrifying the whole thing is. I can’t imagine how the parents must feel.

RhubarbFairy · 15/12/2022 12:55

@ApolloandDaphne, I too can guess at the circumstances. I am so sorry. My heart went out to you back then, and still does now.

My own children are 9 and 11, we've had long chats with them following this about it all.

KitchiHuritAngeni · 15/12/2022 13:12

itsnowjoke · 15/12/2022 08:05

I think you can feel desperately sad for the children and also ask if and why such young children were out on their own!

No, I don't think you can ask that and not sounds heartless.

This always happens after a tragedy involving children, people come on here and ask "well why... blah blah blah" to make themselves feel better and like that would never happen to their child because their parenting is superior.

The fact is that we are all one decision away from tragedy and then scrutiny from strangers online.

The kids were out, playing in the snow, having fun, as kids should.

The parents will be going over and over what they could have done differently, and they will do this forever, long after all the 'innocent' questioners have forgotten all about this tragedy.

I know from when my son died, I literally stood in a shop listening to two women gossiping about his death, it was so far from what actually happened that I didn't even recognise it was me and my son they were talking about until they said the street name, but their words have stayed with me for over 2 decades now.

If you're alright with making a bereaved parents pain even worse by asking questions that are, frankly, nothing to do with you, then go right ahead, but don't pretend it's for any reason other than to make yourself feel better or more in control.

Bereaved parents come on here for support all the time. They should have nothing but sympathy. The rest of the whys and wherefores are nine of our business.

Tiredmum100 · 15/12/2022 13:23

Nor me OP. My ds are 9 and 10. I just can't imagine how the parents must be feeling now. Those poor poor children.

Mummieslncorporated · 15/12/2022 15:19

I've just seen on a news site that two (6&8 year olds) were brothers, and the 11 year old was their cousin.

Just awful.

cosmicbabe · 15/12/2022 15:21

Very sad poor kids

HectorPlasm · 15/12/2022 15:50

Does that mean that there's a set a grandparents that have lost 3 grandchildren? Jeez

pompomsandtinsel · 15/12/2022 16:23

@KitchiHuritAngeni I don't know how you've kept going.