Mumsnet world is like a movie to me, anyone else?

[MoaningMyrtle202]

Im well travelled and work with the general public in the UK so like to think I have some kind of idea of your average Joe blogs generally speaking.

When I come on mumsnet however the general replies from mainly British posters seem to show an alternate universe.

People refer to working ‘in the city’. Which city is this? Why call it ‘the city’. Example ‘I was a lawyer in the city’.
It sounds like Hollywood movie speak. I’ve never in my life heard anyone say ‘I work in the city’. People just say ‘I work in London/Leeds/Cardiff’ or ‘i was a lawyer’.

Thats another thing. A lot of people use the word lawyer on here but but I’ve rarely heard that term used in the UK, normally it’s solicitor?

Then referring to marriage. So many posts about ‘protection’ and being entitled to half. Most people I know don’t have ‘assets’ outside their mortgaged home? Most people also buy jointly a house regardless of marriage. A lot of people are also in rented and there is 0 assets.

It’s like everyone lives in some Hollywood movie where they were on 120K working in ‘the city’ as a ‘hot shot lawyer’ but then married top law firm partner husband on 360K. They then gave up their career for children and are now divorcing said high earning husband and taking half these mysterious ‘assets’. Because they enabled husband to become the rich successful man he is today. Like a plot to a film.

In real life most people only own their home with a joint mortgage as an only asset. If the woman is a SAHM it’s usually because their household income is being topped up with UC. Therefore most couples both work albeit one of them part time with kids.

Where are all these Hollywood lifestyle people in everyday life?

Where is ‘the city’? It sounds great. I live in a city and no one refers to here as ‘the city’ so it can’t be here 🤣🤣.

Tell me you're poor without telling me you're poor 🤣🤣 I get it op, I'm in the same boat. Things like mortgages, contents insurance, financial assets, and 100k salaries are a foreign concept to me. I have a pretty good working knowledge of benefits, social housing, and food banks though.

Not everyone lives like that though and my world probably looks weird to those better off. Social mobility needs to improve in the UK.

I have worked in The City since I was 19 until covid happened, where now I do my £150k a year job for home.
I have a personal trainer twice a week and carve out time to get my nails done and my hair every 6 weeks.
Never been a SAHM, but I do have a tidy pension. As part of my job I deal with our in-house lawyers (def not solicitors). Even I think I am in a bloody movie.

Most people also buy jointly a house regardless of marriage. A lot of people are also in rented and there is 0 assets. has it not crossed your mind that every single person you know living in rented accommodation is living in someone else’s asset?

🤣🤣🤣

This is the best response of this rather weird thread.

Anyway, I’m a ‘lawyer’ and I live hundreds of miles north of London. I work for a multinational where ‘solicitor’ won’t mean much to most colleagues. And I’ve even heard of the City. Some posters seem to be doing their utmost to back up the stereotype some Londoners have of us in the provinces as unable to grasp their sophisticated cosmopolitan ways.

I was going to agree when I saw the title of the thread but pretty much all the things you've listed are normal for us.

I've always known people to say lawyer and the city aka financial district.

We aren't rich but I'm a sahm. Dh works and we have a jointly owned home and assets (shares and investments) and I don't think we're unusual amongst our friends.

I live in Birmingham and have always known 'the City' means London. I'm 50.
Wondering if this is age-related?

Bloody hell that’s a bit much 🤣🤣🤣🤣

I’m not lower middle class, I’m working class!

Not bitter but would certainly be happy for plumber DP to be earning 6 figures as would he! We’d also be very happy to be mortgage free with several properties as another poster have put that they have!

I am sure it's been said but The City refers to the Square Mile covered by the Corporation of London. From Blackfriars to Liverpool Street with Bank/The Bank of England at its Centre. I worked there from 1980 until 1995 for American Banks. There were some shops on Cheapside and near St Paul's. How excited we were when M&S opened on Bishopsgate. I worked on Bishopsgate, Queen Victoria Street, Broadgate, and a few other locations. It was very different then. Very sombre and staid until 1986 and Big Bang - nice wine bars in Leadenhall Market.

@MoaningMyrtle202 I worked in The City, married a barrister but usually refer to him as a lawyer because it's more general. Had a prenup because I had money when we met; he didn't, had 7 years as a SAHM but went back to work and started a 2nd career.

We have a few houses and a home in France. We are still working in our 60s because we love work. Most of our friends are the same as us.

I do know people on UC but through work.

Most people we are friends with are like us. We were in the middle money wise at the DC's schools - not scraping the fees nor multi-millionaires. Hardly Hollywood.

Then the SAHM mums I met on mat leave were low earners anyway so I don’t think they’ll struggle to get ‘back into their career’ aka customer service or Greggs.

What a horrible thing to post!

And as to your wider point, taking time out to have children & stay at home usually does pose a challenge to progression in the workplace. Simply put, you're not there for a period of time, then need to go back, reskill, demonstrate relevant experience.

Nearly any woman I know who has done this has faced a challenge. Not insurmountable. And for many it's still worth it.

But it's so common. Equally when relationships break down (as in my case), it can be extremely challenging for (usually) women. I was able to keep working but had to compromise on roles, just to be able to manage with my DC

I don't know anyone who works in the City, because I don't live and have never lived in a place which is commutable to London. But I fully understand "the city" to mean the square mile which forms the London financial district. And i know exactly what it infers if people say they work in the city.

@EarringsandLipstick
Btw can I ask if people in around Dublin refer to it as the city? As in “I’m driving into the city”

Sorry for the hijack OP

Yes. This all seems very average.

No. In Dublin people would drive 'into town'.

Regarding Dublin, we'd usually just say 'town'. (As in 'we're going into town'). That phrase would be used equally if you were living in rural Ireland as much as if you were in a city!

Sometimes people do say 'city centre' (more because it's what a lot of visitors or people not native to Ireland say).

Never 'the city'.

Sorry didn't see @MurderAtTheBeautyPageant post before I replied!

Mumsnet has taught me that everyone here moves in different circles so their "real life" is different too. In my "real life" almost everyone I know is making the average UK income or less apart from a few outliers, I don't think I know anyone who's household income exceeds £100k let along know anyone who earns that salary.
I live (and have always lived) in a part of the Uk which is historically very poor with limited career options.
Many on Mumsnet do not experience this themselves and some don't know any households close who's household income is LESS than £100k.

https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Cityoff_London

www.oysterpartnership.com/blog/what-is-the-difference-between-a-lawyer-and-a-solicitor

Same everywhere I’ve lived in England, @EarringsandLipstick

Town or the city centre. Or if there is more than one city nearby, you’d name it. Talking about ‘going to the city’ if you mean visiting Leeds or Birmingham sounds very odd to my ears.

Totally with you on this! I think people who live ‘in the city’ forget there are places outside of London and not everyone in U.K. would be researching the city and their area of work 😂 some of the comments on this post would definitely confirm this

To confuse matters. In Essex we often say we are ‘going up town’ if going to the west end of London e.g to see a show or go shopping

I don't know about Essex but nobody in The City uses the term The Big Smoke 😆

1. Watch better movies.
2. If you’re gonna obsess about London life this much then at least have the courtesy to google the City. It isn’t ‘a city’ it is the original Roman London, which had a wall round it that still exists in places and it still has it’s own separate Mayor etc.
3. In Britain a lawyer may be a solicitor or a barrister (or perhaps a paralegal). We say ‘lawyer’ for convenience to refer to any of these.
4. Protections bestowed by marriage in England include a range of legal rights such as being next of kin, and the right to occupy the marital home even if its 100% owned by the other spouse, etc.
5. Maybe recognise that your own life doesn’t define what ‘real life’ is. Plenty of people have assets other than their home.

God there have been some arsey responses on this thread!

In london we refer to the financial district as "the city" OP.