Mumsnet world is like a movie to me, anyone else?

[MoaningMyrtle202]

Im well travelled and work with the general public in the UK so like to think I have some kind of idea of your average Joe blogs generally speaking.

When I come on mumsnet however the general replies from mainly British posters seem to show an alternate universe.

People refer to working ‘in the city’. Which city is this? Why call it ‘the city’. Example ‘I was a lawyer in the city’.
It sounds like Hollywood movie speak. I’ve never in my life heard anyone say ‘I work in the city’. People just say ‘I work in London/Leeds/Cardiff’ or ‘i was a lawyer’.

Thats another thing. A lot of people use the word lawyer on here but but I’ve rarely heard that term used in the UK, normally it’s solicitor?

Then referring to marriage. So many posts about ‘protection’ and being entitled to half. Most people I know don’t have ‘assets’ outside their mortgaged home? Most people also buy jointly a house regardless of marriage. A lot of people are also in rented and there is 0 assets.

It’s like everyone lives in some Hollywood movie where they were on 120K working in ‘the city’ as a ‘hot shot lawyer’ but then married top law firm partner husband on 360K. They then gave up their career for children and are now divorcing said high earning husband and taking half these mysterious ‘assets’. Because they enabled husband to become the rich successful man he is today. Like a plot to a film.

In real life most people only own their home with a joint mortgage as an only asset. If the woman is a SAHM it’s usually because their household income is being topped up with UC. Therefore most couples both work albeit one of them part time with kids.

Where are all these Hollywood lifestyle people in everyday life?

Where is ‘the city’? It sounds great. I live in a city and no one refers to here as ‘the city’ so it can’t be here 🤣🤣.

People in London and the south east always use the term "the city"!

The City just means the financial centre of London.

A solicitor is one type of lawyer, there are also barristers, government lawyers, in house lawyers at banks and all sorts of companies.

It’s not that unusual to have assets outside your house, eg a pension. If you are married you would be entitled to some of your partners pension, and they yours. If you aren’t, you don’t.

I find it fairly hard to believe you don’t know this basic stuff.

And mumsnet is full of people who are single parents / disabled / FT caters for SN kids / earning minimum wage / being shafted by COL.. the idea everyone apart from you is upper middle class is also shite.

One of my favorite eras of fiction to read is womens fiction written in the 1910s to 1950s. Many of them reference husbands working in the City, so it's definitely not a MN term it's very commonly used.

Interesting in some regency fiction Ive read going to London is referenced as going to Town.

@aDayattheLido yes this gets me too! Also a movie thing to me. Like leaving a huge career and then never being able to go back without blood and sweat with a 25 year old boss.

In real life I don’t know anyone who didn’t work until I had my baby. Then the SAHM mums I met on mat leave were low earners anyway so I don’t think they’ll struggle to get ‘back into their career’ aka customer service or Greggs.

Im in a professional role and someone did take a few years out but kept their registration so came back as a locum first (earning more than us on payroll) and then got a job back in the sector permanently when it suited.

I’m afraid I’m also ‘living in a movie’ by some of your standards.. not the 360k salary though unfortunately but I’m a SAHM but we don’t claim UC, not eligible. I’ve never been a solicitor/lawyer either 😃 I don’t see loads of what you’ve mentioned on MN, mainly threads about MIL’s, parking dilemmas, Veja trainers and questionable friendships! x

Miaow

You had me going for a second there 🤣

You're not "very average" if you're wealthy enough to retire in your mid 50s, hardly had to work in your life and own two mortgage free properties.

So yeah i think you are definitely the sort the op is talking about.

One thing I will add is that on social media I've read people saying they are going to "the smoke" in relation to going to London.

I'm from London and have never heard anyone from here refer to it as this!

I have the opposite impression. I’m shocked at how many people posting on MN seem to be on the edge financially. There are posts daily about not being able to heat homes, looking for ideas on how to increase income, lots of talk of food bank referrals.

‘Im not British or living in the UK, and I find this “real life” view shocking and saddening.

Then the SAHM mums I met on mat leave were low earners anyway so I don’t think they’ll struggle to get ‘back into their career’ aka customer service or Greggs.

There's something about this that comes across as sneery

But as someone who has worked in both customer service and retail when I was younger, I have seen women struggle to get jobs in both when they have been out of the workplace for 3+ years and other candidates haven't.

@antelopevalley - about 587000 work in The City of London. I think your figure might just be for the financial sector??

I worked in the City for over 20 years - but for some of that time as a civil servant (with no direct link to either the Corporation of London or financial services). I always considered myself as ‘working in the City’ - because I did! I love the City!

🤣🤣 I'm sure that's on Sky cinema this week.

🤣 I'm sure that's on Sky cinema this week
sounds more channel 5 to me.

It's funny/weird that she still can't grasp it.

Not sneery at all. I was a carer whilst training from my degree on min wage and worked in peacocks!

I sonnor believe for one second that women will struggle to even get a minimum wage unskilled job for taking time out to look after their kids. If they do then that’s as a result of the job market having few jobs, not them.

@MurderAtTheBeautyPageant what do you mean can’t grasp it? I’ve ‘grasped’ it now. Still doesn’t mean I’ve heard the terminology before!

I worked for a bank in The City ( of London) for years. It has changed so much but it used to feel quite special working there back in the late 80's. Very traditional and nothing like the rest of London. It didn't have anywhere near as many shops and restaurants as it has now and it wasn't very residential. The Barbican was the only housing estate I remember being in The City. It's very different these days.

My DH works in finance/private equity and always refers to working with Lawyers - just asked him and he says they are never referred to as solicitors in his world. I use solicitor for someone who does legal work to help you buy property or represents you in court.

I'm a SAHM and know loads of others and none of us are on UC.

I live 40 miles from London in a commuter town where lots of people work in finance of some kind within the square mile or around Canary Wharf.

The city is London financial district.
I feel very poor when I join in on Mumsnet. Like my life is completely different to everyone else who seem to be very rich and privileged.

A Mumsnet movie would actually probably be a great film. I can't decide if it would be a drama, a comedy, or a horror film though 😆

I completely agree OP. Yes the city means London but it’s not just that is it? It’s their whole lifestyle - it’s like some kind of movie or fantasy land.

Obviously if a workplace had two candidates of equal skill, they are more likely to choose the one who doesnt have a 3 year gap on their CV. its shit, its not fair or right, but its also extremely common.

Therefore even if you are a 'minimum wage unskilled worker' as you so nicely put it, if you have a career break you are going to be disadvantaged when you go back into the job market.

Yes you will probably find a job, but it might take longer, and more importantly it will be much harder to find part time or flexible working hours.

Most new jobs are advertised as full time. if you come back from maternity you are more likely generally to have a flexible working request approved because you are a known entity who is fully trained. You are much less likely to get this as a new employee.

So for mums who have been SAHM who need flexible hours yes they are going to find it harder to get those at that point.

And there are plenty of people who consider retail and customer service a career, and there are defined career paths for this.

@iwasaterribleteen "going up the smoke" or "the big smoke" is used quite a lot in Essex commuter towns. Maybe not so much these days but it was definitely a thing I've heard said many times over the years.

Yeah just your average Joe/Joanne 🙄