I waste my evenings

[Longlongtime]

I hardly do anything!

I am a single parent (one teenager at home) so I am stuck in the house in the evenings a lot.

I just waste so much time. Tonight I have emptied the dishwasher, wrapped a few presents, half watched the football (I’m not English or French) and read a chapter of a book. That still leaves several hours of not really doing anything at all.

Occasionally dc will watch something with me for an hour or we will play a game of cards but most of the time they are happy in their room.

I wish I had the motivation to clean something or learn a skill but I don’t. I’m bored but can’t be bothered at the same time! Is anyone else the same?

I think you're probably burnt out. I get it. 💕

I mean, reading is the best waste of time as far as I'm concerned but if you're looking for something with a bit more movement or activity what is it that you want to do instead?

Yes, that is how I feel. By the time I have made dinner, cleaned up, sorted laundry and things for the next day, I just want to go to bed. I have been a single parent for years. Occasionally if I am under pressure at work, I will work after dinner and I do usually - when the weather is not freezing - persuade DC out for a walk. But mostly by 9pm, I am done in.

You could be me op, except I haven't even wrapped any presents or done the dishwasher.

My dh works shifts so in bed an hour after I finish work and my teen is either out or in her bedroom. I'm so bored but also can't be arsed to do anything. Especially as it's dark and cold outside now

Downtime is important for your health and mental health.

Maybe look for some bingeworthy series on Netflix as they waste fill a lot of time. If you want to feel worthy, look for some documentaries where you can learn something random.

Or you can watch endless videos on YouTube of people doing crafts instead of doing them yourself. They're strangely satisfying!

But reading and relaxing are good ways to spend time IMO.

Ideally I would have a night out but that’s rare these days!

I can’t get dc out for a walk and I do try! Occasionally I do a 15 minute workout but I prefer to do it earlier in the day.

I would like to read more, make a cake, play the keyboard, sort out a cupboard, just feel busy and productive in the evenings. I can’t even concentrate enough to follow a series on Netflix.

It is a burnt out feeling but I’m sure I would feel better if I did more.

Single parent (16 yer old daughter) and full time teacher. I do a hobby out of the house one night a week but, most of the time, I'm in bed by 9pm (or asleep on the sofa by 7!) Because I'm just knackered.

I start work at 7.30 at the latest. Sometimes get out at 4; sometimes work until 6. Usually it's 5 or just after. I tend not to bring work home unless I've not managed to do all my marking or it's assessment/report time when I'll often be working until midnight/1am to meet deadlines.

I just don't have the capacity for anything else.

It's the freezing weather, I'm sure. I just want to hibernate at the moment. When the sun is shining and the weather is warm, you feel much more motivated to do things.

At the moment I have so many projects on the go and I don't get on with any of them. I cook, do the bare minimum of cleaning and in the afternoon I curl up under a fleecy blanket on the sofa and watch Netflix.

I might surface next April.

You need to get out the habit of sitting down and putting TV on.

Set a timer for 10 minutes, get up and start sorting out a cupboard right now.

See how you feel after the 10 minutes are up.

How about making some goals for the NY (or whenever) There are loads of good goal tracking apps so even if you were only doing 5 minutes a day watching a keyboard tutorial, say, or leaning a language on duolingo on the sofa, you'd still feel productive. Marginal gains and all that.

I'm the same as you by the way!

I'm exactly the same. I can't be bothered to do anything. Have netflix on as background noise and just scroll around on my phone. Plenty needs doing and I just... don't. Today I mopped the floors - I've literally been putting it off for a month.

There's furniture I need to buy. Papers to sort. A bathroom to clean. Bedding to change. Christmas shopping to finish. None of it happening.

Why the fuck not?
I'm at work all day, I come home and do enough to keep things ticking over, then it's netflix and chill as they say.

Yep, it’s burnout. I too have that feeling that I’d feel better if I did something- I love sewing, I feel better if I’ve done that. But often I just don’t have the energy, even for that, even though I enjoy it because I’m just so emotionally tired.

I’m hoping when I’ve accrued more AL after Xmas I can take some time off work to just recoup a bit of mental strength.

I'm in my 50s. No partner. I just feel so bored of evenings full stop! I've been "filling" them for 50 years and I'm all out of ideas/motivation.

I feel like there's rarely anything fresh and new on TV that I want to watch (even though I have Netflix and prime!). I like crafting and stuff but I tend to do that during the day, my eyesight isn't the best and daylight is just so much better for those things. I'm trying to save money so not keen on going out and spending. I have pain issues which are worse in the evening so the last thing I feel like or want to do is any kind of exercise or physical work. I'm just so bloody bored of it all!

So instead I have a glass or two of wine and I'm in bed by between 8 and 9! Tonight is a "late" night. I actually today thought that in the new year I might just start going to bed at 7! 😂i don't sleep well (menopause) so I need 9 hours as I'm awake for at least a 3rd of that. So up about 4am. That would be fine! I never run out of things to do during the day! I wfh part time hours so I have time in my day to do "fun" stuff.

Sorry that's been zero help to you! Although if you did want to do something like exercise or learning that new skill, you could go to bed an hour earlier and get up an hour earlier and do it then? If you're saying at 9pm there's still "several hours" left, you must go to bed quite late?

Wft and single parent to teenager here - im absolutely shattered by the time the evening comes. Let alone the weekend. Currently got lots of deadlines on so Im working weekends too. Zero xmas shopping done. Feel like i def SHOULD be doing something more productive right now rather than mumsnet !

I mean out of a whole evening, I have only done those few things which didn’t take long eg dishwasher 5 minutes, wrap presents half an hour, read a book 20 minutes. That’s it! There are lots more hours I could fill doing something.

I usually go to bed about 11pm, sometimes later. Yes I am more productive in the mornings.

Some good suggestions from pps. I like the idea of setting goals. I enjoy planning and writing lists. I am wondering if I could do the ten minute timer and sort out a cupboard idea NOW!

I find I get a lot done because I have the radio on in the kitchen all evening, and a no TV before 8pm rule. I like listening to the radio and do stuff. It could be organising a cupboard, bake bread, water the plants, sort the recycling, fold the washing, do a jigsaw puzzle (my favourite) or whatever. But not having to watch something free up a lot of time.

Oh, sis... you can't go in like that. Can you draw a stronger work boundary? I know it's difficult.
Could you afford an evening out a week with dc for quality time? Every other week a few hours out on your own, read in a cafe; wander in a museum? My dc is 15 mos so my alone time is doing errands while my mum childminds.

It’s a good idea to keep going in the evening because once I’ve sat down and I’m on the internet that’s it, I barely want to move.

I am not a single parent but dh and I both do things around the place, we switch off at about 7 if we can a manage it and watch TV, play on our phones or ipad

This is what evenings are meant to be to me what people want ro do with their time, it is not wasted

Sometimes you need down time though so don’t feel guilty about it or that you ‘should’ be doing more. Working full time and juggling all life admin as a single parent takes a lot of head space, so don’t think of it as wasting time, it’s resetting so you can handle whatever is needed the next day.

Single parent of three teens working full time with a second job. Totally get it - burnout is a thing. But there's also a real value to doing some stuff that feeds your soul - cleaning out cupboards might not be it to be fair.

It does sometimes feel on Mumsnet that everyone has productive hobbies and immaculate houses. My house is a bombsite most of the time and watching animal rescue videos is a legitimate hobby in my mind.

You're doing OK - plan a bit of stuff but not too much and remember you're still carrying the mental load for the household as well as the practical so don't beat yourself up.

Me too. I’ve got small DC and I don’t get to sit down before 8.30 after doing their bedtime by which time I am fit for nothing. I’m drowning in life admin and so on which doesn’t get done, and I have zero hobbies. It’s shit.

Yup, live alone and spend most evenings alone too. I go to the occasional bit of live music and a weekly knitting club, but my job is stressful and I'm trying to move house and I'm just knackered.

I'm treating it as hibernation like someone said upthread. Come the new year I'll have my motivation back but this is like the end of term at school and all I want to do is do jigsaw puzzles and watch films.

I'm a single mum of 2 (oldest nearly 13) and I'm 48. I remember when DC1 was a baby doing loads in the evening- I used to do all my housework then, all my life admin and work admin (self employed).

Nowadays, however, I do fuck all. Sometimes I force myself to do something (made kimchi and paid some bills last night), but tonight, for example, I have done absolutely nothing. Perimenopause or burnout? (I am also autistic). Or, perhaps, partly psychological, because the kids go to my ex every other weekend, and I'm then out till late pretty much every evening- gigs, down the pub....if nothing else is on I'll go to an evening swim session at the local pool. Maybe it's a kind of burnout specific to adulting?? 🤔