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Original poster

40th birthday - should it be special?

48 replies

Alertthecorgis · 09/12/2022 18:27

I’m due to turn 40 soon. Over FB I see people having big parties and doing big grand things. I have two children both with Sen who have significant difficulties (both at specialist schools) so life in pretty hard work. I’ve never really been a big birthday person. Has anyone else had a low key “big” birthday?

OP posts:

stargirl1701 · 09/12/2022 18:28

I hired a big house for a weekend and invited friends. DH organised a private chef to cook on the Sat for all of us. Twas lovely.

sanityisamyth · 09/12/2022 18:29

I'm due to turn 40 in February. I have no one to organise anything for me, and I'm a single mum to an 8 year old. I think it will go past without anybody noticing.

Original poster

Alertthecorgis · 09/12/2022 18:29

@stargirl1701 that sounds really lovely. I don’t have many friends really. Sounds like you celebrated in a really great way though.

OP posts:

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Events & celebrations

Original poster

Alertthecorgis · 09/12/2022 18:30

@sanityisamyth I’m really sorry to hear that. I hope you do something special for you. Even if it’s just a small treat.

OP posts:

Splodgerbodgerbadger · 09/12/2022 18:31

I had a four month old baby when I turned 40 and didn’t do anything. For my 50th we had a family party.

emmathedilemma · 09/12/2022 18:33

I had a chippy tea and a bottle of Prosecco with my friend round for the evening for mine! I hate big celebrations.

Celledora · 09/12/2022 18:36

Have never really done anything for my birthdays (hate being centre of attention) but turning 40 soon-ish and want to mark it. After a few losses over the years, this year it’s hit me that I’m just so happy to be here and want to take the opportunity to celebrate.

OwwwMuuuum · 09/12/2022 18:37

I had various meals out with family/ friends and did some nice stuff with DH. Why not just have the birthday you want and forget what you “should” do.

ShirleyPhallus · 09/12/2022 18:39

Do whatever you want, if big parties aren’t your thing then no pressure to do that at all

Ponypitter · 09/12/2022 18:40

I had a week old baby and went for a brunch somewhere. I don't feel under any pressure to do birthdays. I've never enjoyed the pressure - even as a child.

RhubarbFairy · 09/12/2022 18:41

I was 40 in the summer. I definitely did not want a party. Instead we shifted our summer holiday to Eurocamp a week so that we could be out there over my birthday.

I told DH that all I wanted was to go for ice cream somewhere we've been before and have a couple of cocktails in the bar in the evening. And I wanted a tiara with 40 on!
I got all of the above, plus a sash which I wore all day.

I spent the morning in a hammock with my book and we had a BBQ at our accommodation after our ice cream trip, then went to the pool for a bit. I had birthday pancakes at the bar in the evening as DH had brought candles but we forgot to pick up a cake!

Does your birthday fall on a weekday? Could you do something low-key during school hours? A morning spa visit and out for lunch maybe?

PacificallyRequested · 09/12/2022 18:41

I know lots of people who had low key big birthdays in 2020/2021 because of lockdown. When I turned 40 I just went out for tea and cake with my sister and my mum.

NoelNoNoel · 09/12/2022 18:43

For my 40th I had a party for 26 people and then flew to LA and went on a cruise. For my 50th I had a house party for 18 people and then went to Prague.
Both big birthdays were perfect for me as I got to celebrate them exactly how wanted to.

NoelNoNoel · 09/12/2022 18:45

Im due to turn 40 in February. I have no one to organise anything for me, and I'm a single mum to an 8 year old. I think it will go past without anybody noticing
I always organise my own birthdays then I get to do exactly what I really want to do.

mincepiepie · 09/12/2022 18:46

Mine was the the first week of January and have resigned myself to the fact the January birthday are crap.

I had me my dh, his two friends one of my friend, neighbour, my parents and Parents in Law for 1 hour for cocktails, canapés and cake. Normally they would all drop round with presents or if see them at some point. But it was nice to have everyone together.

The next day we went away for two nights on a uk winter city break. Was lovely. I arranged it all and paid for it all and cleaned the house before cake and Prosecco and put up the 40th banners I had saved and one my work friends had decorated my desk with. My husband was like shouldn't someone else be doing that

Lcb123 · 09/12/2022 18:48

Honestly just do whatever would make up happiest (even if that’s nothing!)

Hayliebells · 09/12/2022 18:49

PacificallyRequested · 09/12/2022 18:41

I know lots of people who had low key big birthdays in 2020/2021 because of lockdown. When I turned 40 I just went out for tea and cake with my sister and my mum.

Yes, this was me. We couldn’t go out or have a party (not that I’d want one anyway) so DH just assembled one of those fancy meals that posh restaurants were doing during lockdown, sort of part takeaway part Hello Fresh meal kit type thing at home. He actually needed to put quite a bit of effort in (e.g. he was given the bread as a dough mix) so it was lovely actually, he took his cheffing duties very seriously! We then had a night away at a hotel and a nice meal out not too far away when we were allowed to in the spring. I actually think I would hate a party!

Lcb123 · 09/12/2022 18:49

*would make you happiest!

girlmom21 · 09/12/2022 18:50

OP do you have a DP or DH?

Assuming you can't get childcare due to your children's needs, get them to cook you a nice 3 course meal with a good bottle of wine and a nice movie to follow.

And go for a massage and get your nails done (or a form of self care that suits you) while they're at school!

2pinkginsplease · 09/12/2022 18:52

Do what makes you the happiest.

my 40th had my mum, my best friends and some work colleagues aswell as family wanting to arrange nights out but instead of lots of small nights out I decided to have a party. There were 70 people there who meant the most to me eg family, school friends who I’m in contact with regularly, best friends, some work colleagues and it was an amazing night.

id never had a party before and I loved it.

2pinkginsplease · 09/12/2022 18:54

Pressed send too soon. I’ve also had friends who have gone on holiday for their 40th, some had a meal out whereas others had a quiet family night in with a take away.

it’s what you want to do that is important.

CMOTDibbler · 09/12/2022 18:54

My 40th I didn't do anything. My 50th dh and I had 2 nights away together and it was lovely, nothing with anyone else

MoreTeaLessCoffee · 09/12/2022 18:55

I'm a lone parent, I'd have liked a big special celebration but it wasn't practical (no childcare for a start). I just took a couple of days off work and did nice things like cinema, massage.

RayKray · 09/12/2022 19:01

No recollection of what I did. Do whatever you'd enjoy doing

JustCakeInDrag · 09/12/2022 19:07

Family came to stay for the weekend, we had a lovely meal with lots of wine and champagne, and they clubbed together to give me a very nice watch. Then a few months later my four closest friends and I had a weekend in a cottage in the middle of all our fortieths. Quite low-key but really lovely.

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