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Original poster

What were your childhood misconceptions?

185 replies

Splodgerbodgerbadger · 09/12/2022 16:27

I always used to think if a pub said free house it meant you got free beer.

There was this lorry place we used to drive past that always had a sign saying pallets wanted, I always used to think ‘why do they want paint pallets’.

There was a coal fire at my Granny’s house and one day my Dad touched it and I realised it was fake and it never felt as warm after that.

I thought 99’s were so called because they cost 99p if only!

OP posts:
GoldenCupidon · 09/12/2022 16:32

I thought you could write a cheque instead of paying for something. Thought I'd found a really sneaky ruse I could use to get rich once I grew up.

MargaretThursday · 09/12/2022 17:03

I thought when you swallowed your throat sent food down one hole and drink down the other. I thought this was very clever.

@GoldenCupidon My ds thought he'd found a sneaky way of getting money for nothing. He announced one year that he was saving his Amazon vouchers until they had a 50% off sale then would buy more Amazon vouchers so could double his money.
He was very indignant when told this didn't happen and wanted to get a petition up so they could debate the fairness of this in parliament. 🤣

SilverGlassHare · 09/12/2022 17:05

I told my dad off for ‘drinking and driving’ because he took a swig out of a cab of coke while at the wheel.

WinterLobelia · 09/12/2022 17:07

i thought 'bum' was spelt 'bumb' because of the word 'dumb'.

I thought my aunt was John Lennon and freaked OUT when Jl was murdered and then a few weeks later my aunt came to Christmas. (She looks insanely like him, and I was aged 6).

pinneddownbytabbies · 09/12/2022 17:11

For years I was perplexed by signs at the roadside which read 'Heavy Plant Crossing' and for a while I had a sneaking suspicion that trees were able to pull up their roots and walk about at night.

VeronicaBeccabunga · 09/12/2022 17:14

When I was a child loos were sometimes labelled 'WC' for 'water closet' which I thought meant you were only allowed to wee in them, never poop.
Which was distressing when we were away on holiday in a hotel with WCs.

I also thought 'absconded' meant something very rude and unmentionable because newsreaders would say 'the man absconded' so seriously. Too scared to ask what it meant, don't know why I didn't just look it up in a dictionary.

NotSoLittle · 09/12/2022 17:14

I thought NASA were based near Euston Station...

SleepingStandingUp · 09/12/2022 17:17

That my Dad was one of the good guys.

ThreeFeetTall · 09/12/2022 17:20

I thought that prior to around 1970 the world was actually black and white because thats all I had seen of it on the tv.

MadMadMadamMim · 09/12/2022 17:20

I was sorry for my friend whose birthday is 21 December because someone told me it was the shortest day of the year, and I thought that meant she had less birthday than anyone else.

1ittlegreen · 09/12/2022 17:20

I thought everyone had a birthday every year and everyone had to have a day where they were sick. I used to dread my 'being sick' day but loved my birthday.

1ittlegreen · 09/12/2022 17:21

My brother also once told me words were finite and I had already used over 50% of my lifetime words. I think I was about 6 and absolutely gutted.

DuesToTheDirt · 09/12/2022 17:22

I thought our car was very clever as it knew where my dad wanted to go and automatically switched the indicators on. I never spotted him flicking the switch up and down.

FettleOfKish · 09/12/2022 17:27

My Mum used to insist that having got the Christmas tree up, it needed 24 hours to 'drop' before decorating.

It wasn't until I was an adult and buying real Christmas trees that I realised artificial ones do not 'drop' and she just couldn't be arsed decorating it right after putting it together.

For some reason as a small kid with pretty good reading comprehension I always mistook 'Topshop' for 'Toy Shop' at first glance and was always disappointed when I realised.

Original poster
Splodgerbodgerbadger · 09/12/2022 17:37

MadMadMadamMim · 09/12/2022 17:20

I was sorry for my friend whose birthday is 21 December because someone told me it was the shortest day of the year, and I thought that meant she had less birthday than anyone else.

That reminds me of another one, in reception at primary school. I just couldn’t understand how my friend could be older than me when her birthday is in September and mine is in July. I remember arguing about it, of course she was born the previous September but I just couldn’t get it.

OP posts:
BobbyBobbyBobby · 09/12/2022 17:44

I thought I was some kind of Dr Doolittle as I could talk to my ponies and they understood.

Only when I was older did I realise they were not nodding their heads in agreement with me but were mimicking me as my head nodded up and down.

tiredpuppymum · 09/12/2022 17:47

At my bed time my dad used to sit at the kitchen table eating peanuts or other similar snacks. In the morning he'd sit at the table eating breakfast before going to work.

So as a child I just used to think that my dad stayed up all night long eating peanuts and reading his paper at the kitchen table. My whole early childhood he worked long hours and mum stayed home, so that's all I ever saw him do!

MintyGreenDreams · 09/12/2022 17:53

That the ready basted label on a turkey was swearing

OldTinHat · 09/12/2022 18:08

I thought that if actors in the TV kissed then it would mean they were married and the woman would be pregnant.

Took me a long time to understand that!

Singleandproud · 09/12/2022 18:11

Reading Enid Blyton I thought a bishop ran a biscuit shop.

I thought only men could drive because my dad did but mum couldn't.

I thought showers were posh as we didn't have one.

PlaitBilledDuckyPuss · 09/12/2022 18:13

A friend once told me that when the Queen was knighting people with a sword, if they forgot to bow/curtsey, she would cut their head off with the sword as a punishment.

I seriously believed this and couldn't understand why anyone would take the risk of being knighted and then possibly decapitated.

I had probably been reading too much Alice in Wonderland - 'off with her head!'

Bonjovispyjamas · 09/12/2022 18:18

I always thought tiny people lived in the TV.

Lilgamesh2 · 09/12/2022 18:20

For a long time I thought my uncle from New Zealand was called "N". I always called him "Uncle N" and as far as I could tell that's what everyone else called him too. Weirdly, no one ever pulled me up on it or asked me why I was just calling him a letter.

When I was a a TEENAGER I finally clicked that he was called Ian but in NZ they just clip their vowels very short. I was flabbergasted.

DarkMatternix · 09/12/2022 18:23

I thought that everyone who shared a surname was closely related. We have a fairly unusual name so I'd never met anyone with the same surname who wasn't a cousin, aunt, uncle etc.

FuckoffeeBeforeCoffee · 09/12/2022 18:24

My husband thought cats were female and dogs were male. Seriously.