What were your childhood misconceptions?

[Splodgerbodgerbadger]

I always used to think if a pub said free house it meant you got free beer.

There was this lorry place we used to drive past that always had a sign saying pallets wanted, I always used to think ‘why do they want paint pallets’.

There was a coal fire at my Granny’s house and one day my Dad touched it and I realised it was fake and it never felt as warm after that.

I thought 99’s were so called because they cost 99p if only!

I thought that too! I can remember my parents explaining it meant alcoholic drinks only and wondering if this was true or they might be mistaken.

I used to pass To Let Signs on buildings and read it as 'Toilet' so thought they were toilets for public use.

My lovely dad as a child thought the line in The Hail Mary"Amongst Women" was actually "A Monk swimming". Still fits!

As a small child I couldn’t understand how my body knew to pee when I was on the toilet, and not in other places. I reasoned that this was because my wee hole saw daylight. If I wasn’t on the toilet it was covered and in darkness.

I thought 99’s were so called because they cost 99p if only!

I can remember an ice cream man charging 20p fora 99

You aren’t alone. Feel for the poor soul at the Reading chronicle who thought that a ‘pre fabricated plant room’ was a pre made room full of plants.
It was reported in the paper that several streets would be closed due to a crane lifting this room into place.

One morning our old lady lodger died, she knocked the floor for help and passed away.

I sat outside her room looking out the window, I was determined to see this God everyone spoke about come and fetch her

Same.
Like knifes are male and forks are female.

I'll see myself out...

😄

To be fair, some rentals probably do fit that description. 🤣

I used to think Eye Witness was an actual name and was totally baffled that so many people had this weird name, especially when my folks had the news on the telly.

I remember my mum telling me the facts of life when I was around 10. We briefly discussed gay relationships but I think she was too embarrassed to go into detail. I think I said something along the lines of "they probably put their willies together" and she nodded, hoping to leave the conversation there. I therefore had visions of gay men suckering their penises together, tip to tip, for pleasure, for some time afterwards 😆😆

That the city of Liverpool was the area around the London Underground station Liverpool Street.

I thought that too!

I used to think that when you flushed the loo, the contents of the bowl went up into the cistern.

I remember seeing my dad fishing around in the cistern to adjust the ballcock when the loo wasn't flushing properly, and wondering how on earth he could

70’s child here. I thought that Oswestry was called Osmond Street and, when visiting my Gran, was always disappointed that I never saw the Osmonds walking along.

My parents nicknamed one of their friends “Madonna” as he had a bleached blondish mullet perm a bit like hers. I genuinely believed he was Madonna and wondered how he combined his international pop career with his work as a postman in a small town in Dorset.

I blame the shops for this - at Christmas I swear they used to do special dog treat cracker things called Good Boy and cat ones called Good Girl. I was outraged because we had a boy cat and two girl dogs so we couldn’t get them anything for Christmas. (Funnily enough my dad never disabused me of the idea the animals could read as, presumably, he didn’t want to fork out for them.)

Oh that is priceless 😂

My youngest DC is convinced that boys have brown eyes and girls have blue. This is based on his very scientific very large study of the five members of his immediate family. Dad has brown, big brother has brown, he has brown. Big sister has blue, and mum has blue.

Drink driving meant driving with a cup of tea in your hand. So dangerous!
Cash machines gave out free money! Not just that transaction had no additional charge 🙈

My daughter believed this until pretty recently. She's 16 🙈

Drink driving meant driving with a cup of tea in your hand. So dangerous!
Having once overtaken someone driving on the motorway who was steering with their wrists whilst pouring a drink out of a thermos I'm inclined to try and make your definition of drink driving official.

I once told a girl in the year below at primary school that her name, Jade, was also a shade of green. She wouldn't believe me and I got pulled into the headteachers office and accused of bullying. I was bullied right through school and you wouldn't find someone less likely to bully yet they decided I was guilty. Never trusted any of them again. Not quiet what you were after sorry.

I never pronounced the D so she was always 'Eeny Blyton' to me!

Oh god 🙈