Nobody responded to my messages on LinkedIn- now I'm embarrassed

[wheniwasayounger]

I'm starting a new job in January and thought it would be a nice idea to send a little "hello (person) hope you're keeping well, looking forward to getting started and meeting the team in January" that kinda msg sorta half expecting a reply of some sort but instead radio silence from the two people, I'm now really embarrassed and a bit miffed as to why they wouldn't acknowledge me.

My husband just thinks I'm over thinking it all but it's making me feel a bit unwelcome and nervous (as silly as it seems) the message was last week so plenty of time for a reply

What's your thoughts ? Why wouldn't two people not even say a basic "hi" back to me ?

I only check my LinkedIn once in a blue moon.

If it were me I'd reply - in about 3 months, the next time I check my LinkedIn inbox.

Don't overthink it OP x

Don't sweat it. I never reply to people on LinkedIn although as soon as anyone in our company meets anyone apparently the first thing they do is look them up on there.

Is there a way to tell of the messages have been read by the recipients?

I’m on LinkedIn and have loads of contacts but I barely use it. I have 4 messages - keep getting emails to tell me I have messages. No idea who they are from and no idea about my password.
So if you messaged me I probably wouldn’t know.

If you haven't started, do they even know who you?

I hardly ever check my messages on linked in.

I never ever check my LinkedIn messages tbh, if I see one with a preview it's normally a recruiter.

I probably wouldn't expect a new colleague to message a month before joining a team either to be honest - I wouldn't be on the look out for one or expect one, would they even know your name and that you're joining in January to say hello back? They also might be on annual leave, it's December, half of our team are OOO at any one time at the moment!

This is what my hubby says but they went to the trouble of looking me up. I know it's so daft but it's really impacting me. But, if you lovely folk say it's nothing to get worked up over then I'll go with that. I suppose I worried that they just are really cliquey and just decided to not like me for some reason lol ! I appreciate I sound 13 and not the 34 year old woman that I am lol

Yes they definitely know me. They searched me

Yup, linked in constantly spam me with emails so I am in the habit of hitting ‘delete’ on every mail they send me and I can never remember the bloody password on the rare occasions I do want to use it.

They really really really aren’t ignoring you OP., I promise.

Good luck with your new job.

People are just too busy. They probably saw it and thought - must check who this new starter is again and reply as if I know wtf is going on at my workplace, then promptly forgot it.

So now you must forget about it.

A bit of unsolicited advice - once I realized that a lot of people in workplaces aren't that invested, are looking for their own exit and can be as incompetent as the next human I stopped worrying about these small offenses.

Oh gosh. I went through some old messages recently. My current manager who was simply a colleague 4 years ago messaged me to say hello but I didn’t respond. I was very new to LinkedIn and it must’ve slipped my mind. I don’t even remember it. I think you’re overthinking it, lovely thing to do but they may have just used it the once and not gone back in etc

I would dial down on the ‘lol, I’m a 34 year old woman!!!’ stuff. It’s incredibly irritating to see grown adults using text speak and infantilising communication.

If you want to connect with future colleagues on LinkedIn, wait until you’ve met them. Personally, I would find it weird to receive a cheery message from someone I’ve never met who is joining my company. You have no idea if these people will be working directly with you or not.

@Priminister okay, gosh point taken

If they searched you do not be embarrassed
I think it comes across as very confident so hold your head up when you start.

@PeaceJoySleep thank you. It was just a little ice breaker. I am in a senior position so they will be working with me etc. anyway now that I know the etiquette, I'll tread more carefully in future. But thanks for yku msg. I'm just a bubbly person, in real life but I appreciate that some people aren't and that's fine

I think it was a bit weird to message them in the first place. But I don't use LinkedIn, so maybe I'm the weird one!

This was my thought too. But I don’t use linked in either

@PacificallyRequested @ScrambledOrPoached I appreciate your feedback. Im even more embarrassed now

Maybe they feel embarrassed that you have responded to them looking you up?

In truth it probably is that they only check linked in infrequently. My only colleagues that check / post regularly are those who are looking for a new job and trying to raise their profile! And the only messages I ever seem to receive are sales or recruiters so I just ignore and very rarely look in inbox, even if I do browse the newsfeed from time to time.

Don’t feel too embarrassed! I’m sure they have not judged or read into it.

Don't be embarrassed, I think that's a nice thing to do! I would appreciate someone doing that for me but admittedly might not reply for a while. I just replied to some LinkedIn messages from a month ago haha! Also I can feel really awkward about replying to things on LinkedIn, especially from someone I don't know. It feels like it should be less formal than email for some things but is hard to strike the right tone without previous rapport. I overthinking replying to messages like yours so maybe they are just doing that!

Linked In is performative work based socialising. Most people I know HATE it, view it as a necessary evil and avoid using it except when strictly necessary.

So yes, I look up people who are interviewing me on there. Yes, I try to respond to professional messages.

But mostly, I agree with PP - I avoid using it wherever possible.

Did they add you or just look you up?

@boomboombang they both connected with me