Am I supposed to hate Julia? (Motherland)

[BernadetteRostankowskiWolowitz]

I'm about 4 episodes in (season one), and honestly - I find her and, more specifically, her husband, so fucking annoying that I may just have to throw the towel in.

I get that she is supposed to be a harangued mother, feckless dad, etc, but she is just so incredibly unlikeable.

She berates her mother, so cruelly, for stepping back on childcare (creating a gap the wanker dad should be helping to fill), sometimes in front of her mothers friends.

She only ever does stuff with or for her kids because other people have basically played on her massive insecurities. But it's at caricature point now, where its losing any humour.

I'm just not finding the comedy at all with her. I'm wondering if the fact that there isn't even a drop of niceness written into her character means we are supposed to dislike her?

I'm only still watching for Anne and Liz. Even Kevin - they made him a bit funny at the start but it's going a bit slapstick (the wearing all the coats scene?)

I want to get it, and I want to like it, and there bits I like. But it just feels so over over the top. Like they've ramped up any potential for a bit of comedy to just levels of ridiculousness.

They're all bloody awful in their own way. That's the point, I spent the whole time laughing that I don't have to be friends with these people. I did used to work with a real life version of Meg. We no longer speak

Completely agree with the OP. Julia is vile. And her husband's lack of involvement has NO comedy in it at all becaue it is simply ENRAGING.

Only watched a bit of it and felt so eaten up with vicarious resentment that I had to ditch it. Resentment on Julia's behalf at her husband's fuck-awful behaviour; and resentment on behalf of Julia's mother at the expectations placed on her. Add to that the drippy man, the monstrous alpha and sundry other half-baked personifications of AIBU tropes, and the whole series is even more exhausting and exasperating than the lifestyle it depicts.

I don’t really like any of the characters, but I love the program. Why do women always need to be presented as ‘likeable’ to be watchable?

I always thought that’s why Anne didn’t push back - because she’s in a happy relationship, has a loving family, has had a successful career. She doesn’t need to fight back against Amanda & co because Amanda is just a big ball of insecurity.

@Random789 so you don't like it then 🙄

Yeah, I think Anne is genuinely happy in herself, so doesn't need to jostle for external validation in the way Amanda does.

I always thought Julia was a single mum, I didn't really clock that there was a husband 😖

Exactly! The joke is always on Amanda and sometimes Julia when they’re mean or dismissive to Anne, not the other way around.

Y’know, the one with all the hobbies and stag dos and urgent work events. I swear the whole premise of the show is based on characters from this forum 😆

You arnt supposed to like her you are supposed to find her funny or entertaining do you have a sense of humour atall I think you need to lighten up

Ha ha I've seen loads of Julia's and co at the school gate! They may be fictional, but even 1 look at the Mumsnet board and WhatsApp class groups will show you they are truer to life than you think 🤣

She is SO unlikeable, I watched 2 episodes and gave up! 🙄

Correct. You can't take it too seriously because it's all exaggerated. I bloody love Julia I think she's totally manic and hilarious. But I don't think too deeply about it maybe that's why.

I also love the episode with the in laws who are there to help but actually cause Julia more work!

Oh and the Mother's Day ep when Anne (who Amanda belittles and sees as a lesser individual) actually makes Amanda feel jealous because of her lovely mammy.

It's soooo cleverly written - I could go on!

I didn't for a long time!

I didn't like Julia to start with but over the seasons I warmed to her and understood her a bit more.

You really see her for the sad approval-seeking girl she is inside.

Exactly! One scene reveals so much about what motivates her. It works particularly well as Amanda is loathsome up to that point.

Exactly! That's the power of the programme. They are dislikable. Perhaps not all the time but a lot.

It is modern Hogarth (and set in West london very close to Hogarth's house). All of them are caricatures of modern mores, status anxiety, showing off, bad behaviour, moral failings. Think of them as cruel cartoons rather than relatable characters.

Julia is meant to be a dickhead imo. She used her mum for childcare and then expressly made friends with Amanda and co to try and palm her kids off so as not to pay for childcare. I think it’s quite nice to have a protagonist who isn’t pleasant - same with This Country.

you are supposed to find her funny or entertaining do you have a sense of humour atall I think you need to lighten up

Well, no, not necessarily and not based on interviews with some of the writers.

I don't find her funny or entertaining. It's intended as quite a caustic interpretation of motherhood & friendships

It’s not that I dislike her, it’s more that she stresses me out. She’s so chaotic and hopeless, it makes me a bit on edge. Also when she’s doing her PR thing (which is what I used to do), I find it stressful seeing her doing it so badly.

And yet otherwise I think it’s a very funny programme.

actually makes Amanda feel jealous because of her lovely mammy.

She's not jealous in that scene. She is wistful & vulnerable, at a stroke seeing what it would be like to be truly seen & accepted for herself.

Each character is an extreme representation. Kevin is so badly treated and taken the piss out of by his wife, Amanda is so narcissistic and obnoxious to people’s face, Anne is such a pushover etc. that of course the portrayal of Julia is equally OTT.

In a way I find it funny because she verbalises and acts out what sometimes people are thinking but would hardly ever dare do/say. Also the bad behaviour rarely seems to work out for her and she inevitably ends up making a mess of things publicly and has to somehow smooth it over. Can’t remember which series but at the end of one after her crush on the builder, the DH appears and tries to be nice(r).

Eurgh, don’t like her character either…only like the Northern mum, I’m from the North too

Can’t remember which series but at the end of one after her crush on the builder, the DH appears and tries to be nice(r).

I have to say I absolutely hated this bit! They seemed to randomly redeem the husband after he'd been a complete wanker useless the whole time