Am I supposed to hate Julia? (Motherland)

[BernadetteRostankowskiWolowitz]

I'm about 4 episodes in (season one), and honestly - I find her and, more specifically, her husband, so fucking annoying that I may just have to throw the towel in.

I get that she is supposed to be a harangued mother, feckless dad, etc, but she is just so incredibly unlikeable.

She berates her mother, so cruelly, for stepping back on childcare (creating a gap the wanker dad should be helping to fill), sometimes in front of her mothers friends.

She only ever does stuff with or for her kids because other people have basically played on her massive insecurities. But it's at caricature point now, where its losing any humour.

I'm just not finding the comedy at all with her. I'm wondering if the fact that there isn't even a drop of niceness written into her character means we are supposed to dislike her?

I'm only still watching for Anne and Liz. Even Kevin - they made him a bit funny at the start but it's going a bit slapstick (the wearing all the coats scene?)

I want to get it, and I want to like it, and there bits I like. But it just feels so over over the top. Like they've ramped up any potential for a bit of comedy to just levels of ridiculousness.

Only watched a few episodes and felt the same! Really couldn't get behind any of the characters at all. Julia particularly annoyed me, as did the SAHD. Obviously wasn't aimed at me as a target audience

I think Julia is meant to be someone who is stretched so thin that she keeps having to rely on charm and manipulation to get through and never gets to relax or feel in control of anything. Always getting through by the skin of her teeth.

The likeable bit about her is that she keeps going, I think you're supposed to think she'd be a good person but for all the schemes she has to pull to continue juggling kids and job.

I initially liked Liz but got a bit tired of her by this season. Anne is my favourite. Meg feels like she was crowbarred in when they realised they had failed on diversity despite it being set in London.

I don't think I can find the 'husband doing his thing' stuff funny - it's too close to the millions and millions of RL scenarios in which women are supposed to roll their eyes ("men!") at and crack on with breaking themselves doing all the shitwork.

I'm 50 and I think being entirely responsible for all the parenting thinking and most of the doing has made me a worse person.

I always think though that the joke with Amanda and Anne is that the joke is actually on Amanda when she’s being a cow at the school gates, and the casual mention of Anne’s job at GlaxoSmithKline is part of that. Amanda is an insecure loser.

I am now thinking too deeply about this. I think the show overall is lacking anyone sufficiently likeable. I don't really feel invested in any of them. Liz is the best of a bad bunch.

Overthinking done.

Oh yeah, I thought we were all meant to hate Julia. Or, if you relate to her, it’s because you relate to those parts of her that you hate in yourself.

Julia just reminds me of half the posts on Mumsnet.

Good god lighten up people!

I like her. I think she knows she's being awful but she just doesn't feel like she has any other options because she's left to juggle everything by her useless husband. Besides she has Amanda to make her look like a good and normal person - comparatively speaking.

Not hate her but laugh at her self imposed hardships. She's not that likeable I agree!

I initially hated Motherland, and Julia in particular.

I've grown to love it; it's subtle, clever & carefully not doing the Slummy Mummy trope, 'haha, we have wine at 4 but we're still basically amazing mums'. I heard Sharon Horgan discuss thus and how much she hated it.

The characters are genuinely all unsympathetic in some way. Julia is absolutely unlikeable, monstrously selfish .., but there is thar smidgeon of self-recognition for most of us, tiny elements of sympathy.

I love the episode where Liz calls her out on being an arsehole, and Julia really struggles to even fathom it.

Won't spoil it but they do something very bizarre with the awful husband's character (tho it's also a little lovely).

It's great I think. Contradictory but honest TV which is rare.

So many tales on AIBU and Relationships about dreadful, selfish men like Julia’s husband. With the OPs trying to juggle kids, work, elderly parents etc. I find it a hard watch in some ways because my ex had shades of Julia’s husband although he wasn’t as bad. The part where she developed an embarrassing crush on another man because he was decent, useful and present was so poignant.

Amanda’s husband was awful, leaving her and putting their home on the market. She tried hard to be strong and implied that it was mutual. Cringemaking.

Kevin’s wife treats him like the hired help. I felt so bad for him in the Christmas ep.

Liz’s ex is one of those useless and feckless fellas who also feature heavily on AIBU and Relationships.

Only Anne seems to have lucked out unless she has said something negative about her marriage and I missed it.

Kevin annoys me the most, but I think that's all part of it, as occasionally there's really affecting moments to do with his awful marriage & how much he loves his girls. They are made more moving by how otherwise risible he is.

There's another fabulous scene on Mother's Day involving Amanda & her odious mum meeting Anne & her lovely one.

It's brilliant acting. And v emotional (I thought)

I am definitely over-invested now.

I quite like Meg as a character. I can't watch her fall down the stairs on the bus without bursting out laughing.

Im northern and love her. Completely identify with her. I love them all. Amanda isnt likeable but the actress does her so well you kind of love to hate her.

I love Motherland and I find Julia and Kevin hilarious. I can be a bit chaotic like Julia but with Anne's personality. I find it funny because I can relate to all the scrapes Julia finds herself in. Its daft and silly but there are some great lines

I’m rewatching it for about the 4th time. I love it.

I don’t actually like Julia, but I do empathise with her. I have a sneaky feeling I’ll be like her mum when I’m a grandma! And my own DM wasn’t very involved.

the in-laws episode was great and her exasperation with everyone is actually very relatable. Even if her reactions aren’t!

Only Anne seems to have lucked out unless she has said something negative about her marriage and I missed it.

That’s what I mean about the Anne character - they all treat her like she’s on the lowest rung of their social ladder, even though she’s objectively the happiest and most competent. It shows how ridiculous the school gate politics are.

I was thinking the same.

That's interesting. I'm northern and everyone I know thinks they're a liz because she's clearly the best one.

Motherland is just a bit too close to the bone for me and where I am in my life right now. I feel I need to come back to it in ten years when I have earned a bit of distance.

@DorritLittle I won't have a word against it, I'm a super fan !!

And the most professionally successful- there’s a scene where Amanda asks Anne whether she used to work at Greggs and she replies she was head of product development at GSK

Amanda made me cry on a rewatch of that bit when she said “but we won’t let it make OUR kids sad”. You really see her for the sad approval-seeking girl she is inside.