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Original poster

What’s life like if you have kids aged between 4 and 10?

56 replies

Tiredallofthetime · 04/12/2022 09:48

Finding the toddler stage hard going … there is light at the end of the tunnel, right? <smiles weakly>

OP posts:
AtomicBlondeRose · 04/12/2022 09:53

They definitely get harder in some ways but easier in other ways, and those things are what I found most tiring so it’s a win for me. Stuff like: not having to buckle in/out of car seats because they can do it themselves, they choose their own clothes and dress themselves, get their own breakfast (and at the older end can get their own lunch sometimes too), bath without constant supervision, no bum wiping, amuse themselves for hours on a weekend morning with tv/tablet/reading, don’t need to be watched all the time in the garden, don’t run off in the street, you don’t need to bring a load of luggage with you everywhere (the day you first leave the house with just your small handbag is a biggie!).

Yes you do have to deal with school admin/dress up days/money for stuff, childcare is harder than when they’re at nursery (and not much cheaper!), they’re still weird about food sometimes or get an adult appetite so cost you £££, there’s friendship stuff and outrageous requests (Snapchat at 8…jog on!), you feel bad about their screen time….but it’s easier overall.

astronewt · 04/12/2022 09:55

Busy and fun. I like this stage. They both dress and toilet themselves, they read, they're fun and interesting to talk to, they totally ignore me when they have a friend over, car seats are still a thing but it's simpler, and now they're both in school our childcare costs have dropped by 60%.

EnglishGirlApproximately · 04/12/2022 09:56

Ds is ten and I've loved the last couple of years. He's old enough to be great company and no hassle to take anywhere, and we've had some great times recently. I'm starting to wish time could stand still as I know that in the next few years I'll lose him a little bit as he gets more independent! At this age we have a great balance between doing kids stuff if his choice, but him being mature enough to not mind tagging along to things I enjoy in return.

Chillyoptimistic · 04/12/2022 09:57

I have 3,4 & 10 and honestly this is the best stage. Everything is fun and busy. I hate the newborn stage and the toddler stage until about 2.5 but after that it’s just much easier.

Ragwort · 04/12/2022 09:57

Just wait for the teenage years Grin.

ISeeTrees · 04/12/2022 10:00

4.5 was hell on Earth, by 5 things had improved a lot and getting better and better.
There's still the odd tantrum/overtired outburst but things are much easier the more independent they get. Also being able to play and interact more, teaching fun stuff like card/board games and going out is infinitely easier and less stressful. Hang in there!

Original poster
Tiredallofthetime · 04/12/2022 10:01

I fully expect there to be challenges then @Ragwort but I was looking for some light at the end of the tunnel, not further darkness!

It’s good to know - I am very much ‘hanging on in there’ just now! I don’t even have a notably difficult toddler but it’s just the relentlessness of it that is getting me down as in trimester one too and a bit of nausea and tiredness is actually hitting (after weeks of thinking I couldn’t be pregnant!)

I keep telling myself it is not forever!

OP posts:
YellowHpok · 04/12/2022 10:03

Things improved considerably here once the youngest started school. I absolutely cock up the school admin occasionally but that is much easier to manage, and the youngest appears to have grown out of their death wish. There is hope!

AntiqueCestChic · 04/12/2022 10:07

Definitely easier once they start school and get a bit more independent!

I love hanging out with my DS10 - he's fun, interesting and a nice kid.

He was a difficult, tantrumming whingebag up to the age of 4!

DoubleNit · 04/12/2022 10:09

DD is 7. Sometimes when things were hard for me when she was smaller I would think, one day it'll be "get your jacket" and off we would go. We are there!
She can be brilliant company, funny and kind. Obviously she's 7 and acts accordingly but life is so different from when she was 2/3/4.
There is definitely light at the end of the tunnel.

Invisimamma · 04/12/2022 10:11

My DC are 8 and 12. I've just slept in to 10am, the 12yro isn't awake yet and the 8yro was up earlier sorted himself some cereal in front of the TV.

Yesterday we had a lovely day out at Xmas markets and a nice meal out. Very little complaining except the 8yro had sore legs from walking.

The downsides are constant nagging people to shower, brush teeth, pick up after themselves and do homework. Everything I cook is terrible apparently. Lots of taxi duties to various activities.

But I think we're in a sweet spot where parenting is relatively easy. There is light at the end of the tunnel! Although the 12yro is beginning to push boundaries about what time he can be out until and getting expensive with his obsession with brands and trainers.

Notoironing · 04/12/2022 10:12

My kids are 4,7 and 9. I am so happy at the moment, life is really busy but really good. They are wonderful and I feel lucky. I feel the turning point between really tough on a daily basis and enjoyable has come sometime between age 3/4 for the youngest.

AntiqueCestChic · 04/12/2022 10:12

Re teenagers - teenage years aren't always difficult! My teen DS and his mates have had a few slamming doors and emotional moments but nothing major at all - they're all nice kids and seem to have reached 16 without becoming Kevin & Perry!

This is the kid who never slept more than 2 hours at a time till he was 3 and never slept through the night till he was 6 or 7. He nearly broke me!

So in my experience having a teen is 100x easier than a newborn or toddler!

Tonsiltrouble · 04/12/2022 10:15

Ours are 6&8 and genuinely good fun, most of the time. We went to a wedding this summer, in a private venue, fairly safe, and were able to give them full free rein of the place. That was amazing, knowing that they were just old enough to relish the freedom but not old enough/have the imagination to be able to get up anything awful.

StClare101 · 04/12/2022 11:08

My kids are seven and eight. Yes, life is so much easier, largely helped by the fact they get along well most of the time.

I hated the toddler years.

Ragwort · 04/12/2022 11:10

I think the point is that all DC are different, I had the easiest baby and toddler ... genuinely never had a broken night's sleep (one very quick night feed and then self settled), no toddler tantrums ... the worse for me was 15-17 - but nothing horrendous compared to what some families go through. I have friends with DC in their 30s who are still the source of huge worries. Sad

Fleabigg · 04/12/2022 11:10

Depends how many you have I suppose, and their individual personalities. I have one 5 year old and while there’s more incessant talking than I would like she’s actually pretty easy going, tantrums are very rare and spending time with her is lovely.

Ragwort · 04/12/2022 11:11

And sticking to just one DC probably made life considerably easier Smile

RudsyFarmer · 04/12/2022 11:12

My nine year old is amazing. My six year old is still a LOT of hard work. The main problem I have is the fighting and teasing which leads to crying and whingeing. Completely exhausting.

IDidntKnowItWasAParty · 05/12/2022 09:15

I'm really sorry to say this but I am finding that age-range the hardest. I loved the baby and toddler years, despite their obvious challenges. The challenges that came up in 4-10 were much harder for me. Now I've got pre-teen and teens to look forward to arghh

Mince314s · 05/12/2022 09:24

My five year old is a delight. He started being lovely from about 4.5. My 2.5 year old is generally lovely too though and his brother absolutely was not at that age.

DreamingofItaly2023 · 05/12/2022 09:25

Life with my 6yo is great. He is so much fun and great company but increasingly independent. He is now at an age where he attends activity days etc by himself so DH and I get time to ourselves, he can also entertain himself while I read etc. the time we spend together is spent doing stuff we all enjoy like long walks, trips to the cinema and theatre and eating out. I don’t find him hard work at all anymore, just a brilliant person to be around.

UnalliterativeGeorge · 05/12/2022 09:28

I have 6 and 7 year olds and it's so much easier now. Just being able to reason with them and them being able to wait for stuff makes life so much easier!

PuttingDownRoots · 05/12/2022 09:29

Mine are 9&11 and the hardest part is their extra curricular stuff. This is partly our choice obviously, but standing at the side of rugby pitch on a cold drizzly evening isn't exactly my idea of fun. But its their idea of fun.

But there's compensation... they can make a great cup of coffee/tea.

TheYearOfSmallThings · 05/12/2022 09:37

I definitely find these years easier - the last year before DS(7) started school was the hardest in some ways. I had looked forward to lots of adventures on my days off, but he just wanted to charge around with a herd of other 3 year olds. From the day he started school things got calmer and easier. Although childcare became more of a pain in the arse if I'm honest.