Page 2 | What’s life like if you have kids aged between 4 and 10?

trilbydoll · 05/12/2022 09:38

DDs are 7 and 9 and they are really funny, good company and genuinely entertaining.

They also move at a snail's pace a lot of the time so it still takes forever to get out of the door, that aspect is no better than when they were toddlers!

namechange5575 · 05/12/2022 09:39

9, 6 and 4 here. I'm really enjoying it - everything got much easier once the youngest turned 4 (or late 3..) Just no need for constant supervision. I get literally hours to myself most days. Them learning to read also massively increases their entertainment options and independence.

unlimiteddilutingjuice · 05/12/2022 09:39

Yes. Its loads easier.

I just came back from holiday at a theme park with my two (7 and 10), Dsis and Dnephew (2). It is night and day.

Dsis constantly running about, can't take her eyes off her kid for a second, can't get to the rides because Dnephew has to stop to pick up a stick or look at a rock. Can't do anything fun for two hours every day because she's trying to get him down for a nap. Can't even hand him over to me because he's so clingy (Eventually on the last day, he was happy to toddle off with me and give poor Dsis a 20 min break). Where you are basically.

There's me, just keeping a general eye out on mine. Occasionally suggesting they not walk through a puddle or eat the fake snow off the christmas trees. Dsis said to me: "They just sort of orbit around you like planets".

I have two and one of them is disabled. Still far, far easier than one toddler. By a long way.

Chin up OP, there's light at the end of the tunnel.

CeeJay81 · 05/12/2022 09:39

I'd say its the best stage esp Junior age. My 8 year old dd isn't too much hassle. We can have fun together, she's independent enough that I get some peace to do stuff or chill out if I want too, yet young enough to still eat me at times and not to want expensive things all the time. Her 13 year old brother is more hassle. Wanting money all the time and is often grumpy after school. I guess I dont have much in common with teenage boys either for conversation.

CeeJay81 · 05/12/2022 09:40

*want me, not eat me 🤣🤣

Comedycook · 05/12/2022 09:41

Primary age is hands down the nicest, easiest age. Toddlers and teens are the worst

Bemyclementine · 05/12/2022 09:42

Having a baby and a toddler is soooo much easier than pregnancy and a toddler, imo.

Dc are 5 and 7, many things are easier as has been said already. The challenges are different.

OllyBJolly · 05/12/2022 09:48

That was probably my favourite times! A bit more independent of me, we could do fun things, they would sleep over with friends and family, they had lots of after school activities that used up their energy. We could also really enjoy movie nights or (my favourite!) disco nights before they grew up and wanted to do different things.

I did enjoy the younger years as well but it was certainly much harder work!

skgnome · 05/12/2022 09:48

It gets better
they will still expect you will have an unlimited supply of snacks to provide them… my 12 yo still does…
but you can even take them to a movie you want to see - provided you’re interested in 12A movies…
they do get to do their own breakfast and entertain themselves in the early mornings
they sort of get ready themselves
they do have good chat… you even learn new things
and, they do start showering by themselves!!! Yes you still need to force them into the shower…. But you can do stuff in that time

ScarlettOHaraHamiltonKennedyButler · 05/12/2022 09:52

I have a 9 and 6 year old and compared to the baby and toddler years it is an absolute breeze!

Yes they fight like cat and dog and there are friendship issues etc. but they can wipe their own bums, get their own snacks, get dressed and put their shoes on, tidy their rooms (in theory at least) and days out/holidays are so much more fun. They still give cuddles and have all the child like magic and wonder and I can have actual proper conversations with them, my 9 year old loves politics for instance so its amazing discusing it with him and learning his views.

Downside is they no longer go to bed at 7 o'clock and they watch the screechy you tubers.

I know the teenage years will be harder so I am enjoying the good times while they last!

astronewt · 05/12/2022 11:00

and they watch the screechy you tubers.

Ohmygooooood, mine are into Moody Unicorn Twin and I hate that woman's goddamn screechy voice.

Things are still 10x better and more fun than the toddler days though. My 8yo is genuinely awesome company. We can hop on a bus or train and go out to have a meal and see a show together and talk about what's happening in the world and he is just delightful. My 4yo is still a stroppy handful at times, partially because he's still on the painful curve of being exhausted by adapting to reception.

BeethovenNinth · 05/12/2022 11:05

It’s been my favourite age. A delight. Still hard work but generally happy and joyful and rewarding

then you hit teenage years. Grab your seatbelt for that, it makes the toddler years seem dream boat!!

caroleanboneparte · 05/12/2022 11:40

Life improves immeasurably once they can get up put the tv on and musket their own cereal/ juice!

namechange5575 · 05/12/2022 11:52

Like @Notoironing , I've got 9,6 and 4 here, and it's really genuinely nice a lot of the time. I no longer have to be on them constantly, I have hours to myself most days. No longer a novelty to be by myself in public, or locking myself away to have 5 minutes in the loo alone. Things really changed when the youngest turned 4 (or late 3 possibly). Them learning to read independently is also a massive change in terms of independence / entertainment for them, if they become bookworms like my eldest did. Also then they can get into bbc bite size and other educational games.

Frazzled2207 · 05/12/2022 11:54

Mine are 7 and 9 and it’s so much easier than it used to be.
at weekends we do more stuff in summer but at the moment other than take them to some sporty activities at weekends we broadly just manage to leave them to their own devices either with friends or by themselves.

still the usual stress getting them up and out for school and getting them doing their homework tho!

Hospital2022 · 05/12/2022 12:02

My 2 youngest are 6 and 7. When they were a baby and I was pregnant with the other/they were both baby /new born. That was the hardest time ever for me. I was getting woken up every 2 hours on average by one or the other. Or both. I wad surviving on an average of 3 hours sleep a night and even that was disturbed. I also had other kids yo look after. They are 6 and 7 now but I still feel a bit emotional when I reflect bsvk on how hard it was.

But also they were lovely. They were happy cheeky. Very loving. Lots of giggles and laughter.

Once they passed the baby stage it did get better sleeping through the night. That was a massive change.

They love each other dearly and always play together and look after each other . The 7 year old has autism do he's a bit behind the 6 year old often helps him out . They are both so lovely and caring.

Once they are at the chatty stage they are so funny /embarrassing. Sometimes it's embarrassing and you want the ground to swallow you up other times you want to roll on the floor laughing.

My other kids are 12 and over and the hormones have set in 😭

Echobelly · 05/12/2022 12:09

It's great when at the upper end of this they can start getting own drinks and snacks and maybe even simple meals. Primary school brings the 'joy' of sorting out logistics each and every holiday for where the kids go. We were lucky to have an affordable holiday club near us that runs quite a long day, but that couldn't cover everything. I am very relieved that there's probably just one more summer I'll have to do some of that for youngest.

mindutopia · 05/12/2022 12:17

I currently have a 4 and a 10 year old. I would say that life does in a way get easier in the sense that you don't need to spend as much time making sure they don't kill themselves. Even now with my 4 year old, I am able to leave him for periods of time (while I go out to the garden or root around in a barn looking for something) as I can trust he'll mostly be okay without me for 10-15 minutes and he is able to just come find me if he needs something. You can also do more things with them as they get older, more nights away for something fun, film nights, sleepovers, days out to do something you both enjoy (not just horrid soft play).

But I think the emotional aspect of parenting is definitely harder when they are older. Toddlers are quite simple creatures with simple needs. Not so much a 10 year old. I find my older one by far more exhausting in terms of the emotional labour of parenting, she is moody and her feelings are suddenly very complex and there are friendships to balance and she has said some things that really hurt my feelings, if I'm being honest. The good thing is, when she is driving me absolutely mad in a strop, I can go outside and get a break and leave her to it if really necessary, because she isn't 2 anymore.

Original poster

Tiredallofthetime · 05/12/2022 12:21

Thanks for these. So helpful and lovely to read.

I am sure it is a phase but we are going through an extremely challenging one and I don’t (personally) find it simple at all … I suppose that in theory their needs are simple: they need entertaining, fed, sleep - but my god they fight those needs, don’t they!?

OP posts:

MeMyCatsAndMyBooks · 05/12/2022 12:27

It depends on the child.

My pre teen has autism, ADHD and MLD and is a dream 99 percent of the time. He can be stroppy but compared to his 7 year old brother he's a angel 😂.
My 7 year old has always been very hard work though, he's very intelligent and very attention seeking. He was a good baby though!

Namora · 05/12/2022 12:35

My 5yo doesn't seem to have progressed much beyond the toddler stage but my 8yo is pleasant, chatty, reasonably independent, and great company.

sunflowerdaisyrose · 05/12/2022 12:40

Mine are 7 and 9 and some things are much easier (ie they can shower/bath/dress/do their hair/get breakfast etc alone) and my eldest is super organised so is genuinely helpful with things like cooking dinner and folding washing. The juggle of fitting everything in is harder and always driving or collecting them from places. The eldest one also has a lot of emotional needs and worries and so we spend a lot of time trying to help her. I prefer this age to tiny overall and they're still young enough to have a cuddle, hold my hand, call me mummy and want me around!

icanwearwhatiwant · 05/12/2022 12:40

I have loved the 4-10 years and found them relatively easy. They learn to take care of themselves a bit more, it's not so intense and physical. They can be reasoned with and hold a decent conversation. Then as they get a bit older they value privacy so you get a little bit more breathing space.
I haven't hit the teenage years so I'm bracing myself 😆

BertieBotts · 05/12/2022 12:59

Dull... wall to wall minecraft and pokemon. (Insert other boring, overly gendered, highly commercialised interest)

Give me a toddler or teenager any day

I am a weirdo though. Most people love the primary school years. And TBH Minecraft is better than football, at least I could play it a bit with him and I did try. But I find it better when they are little enough that they are curious about everything or old enough to ditch the herd mentality stuff.

Comedycook · 05/12/2022 13:01

Give me a toddler or teenager any day

Wow...are you mad?!