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Original poster

Neighbours who are always trying to outdo everyone else

59 replies

GlowOn · 03/12/2022 18:20

How do you deal with them? The typical movie stereotype neighbours, who spend loads of money on things and go overboard with everything, then act smugly and make sure they drop derogatory remarks into every bit of small talk. I really wish that I could just ignore it but my skin isn’t quite that thick, this particular neighbour I have makes me feel really awful about myself. I’m trying to boost my self esteem up, but every time I make a small improvement to my home or appearance or just life that I’m really proud of, she immediately goes out and does something much bigger.

Tonight, of course, it’s Christmas decorations. Any advice on how to ignore her, or stories of your own show off neighbours are appreciated.

OP posts:

2bazookas · 03/12/2022 18:22

Give your head a wobble. Your neighbour isn't damaging your self esteem, you're doing that all by yourself.

LlynTegid · 03/12/2022 18:24

Tell them you have just made a large charity donation.

RudsyFarmer · 03/12/2022 18:25

LlynTegid · 03/12/2022 18:24

Tell them you have just made a large charity donation.

🤣

grapehyacinthisactuallyblue · 03/12/2022 18:28

I think it's all in your head. If you are not competitive person in the first place, you wouldn't worry about what others do.
So either admit you are competing and go over board, or stop thinking about what other people are doing, and just enjoy what you did.

NewIdeasToday · 03/12/2022 18:29

I think you’re giving your neighbours too much headspace. Just ignore them and live your own life.

StickyCricket · 03/12/2022 18:30

You have a very unhealthy thought process.

I can honestly say I pay absolutely no attention to what my neighbours do, spend, buy, etc and I’d hate to think that they believes anything I did was done only to “outdo” them.

I bet your neighbours have absolutely no idea that in your head, they are in competition with you.

Scottishskifun · 03/12/2022 18:33

Ah good old keeping up with the Jones competition!
I had a neighbour like this she also complained that our house and garden brought down the area.....it was perfectly tidy we just refused to give her what she wanted so she would moan a lot (she also tried to move a boundary line with a new fence!)

We made a game of it tbh! Would tell her ridiculous things we were planning to see what she would do! It became entertainment for us and she spent loads of money on tat etc. When she would brag about it we would say it was amazing and we hadn't been able to afford it in the end!

BorisJohnsonsHair · 03/12/2022 18:34

This sort of behaviour would make me do the exact opposite. They spend a fortune on their garden? I'd let my grass grow 2 feet long. New car? Leave mine to get old and never wash it. Etc etc.

I can't be doing with people thinking that they're better people because they spend more money (probably that they haven't got).

As a PP said, say you prefer to donate money to charity at this time of year, and somehow let them know that too many lights just look naff and tacky 😂

Amybelle88 · 03/12/2022 18:35

Could not give one shit what my neighbours do and I'm pretty sure the feeling is mutual.

We all get on really well and I love seeing how we all do our decorations differently. Some don't do outdoor lights and it has no bearing on anyone else's life.

If you think your neighbours doing things is something that damages your self esteem then you need a little bit of therapy (I mean that in the nicest way possible!) as it should affect you so negatively.

If you find their conversation unpleasant then stop having them.

Original poster

GlowOn · 03/12/2022 18:37

LlynTegid · 03/12/2022 18:24

Tell them you have just made a large charity donation.

When somebody from the local children’s hospice came asking for donations she scoffed and said that people who donate to charities are gullible and stupid for believing that their money actually goes towards the people suffering😅

I’m not interested in outdoing her, just after some advice on how to ignore her!

OP posts:

CambsAlways · 03/12/2022 18:41

🤣🤣🤣 it just doesn’t bother me, we have one like that on our estate, I find it hilarious, buys a new car, washes it every Sunday even in the rain, his Xmas decs are bigger than anyone else’s, I just think awww bless and carry on with what I’m doing but does amuse me,

forrestgreen · 03/12/2022 18:41

Make up a story about how you'll have the most lights on her street
Wait for her to buy stuff
When she mentions it, tell her you've decided it's tacky

Original poster

GlowOn · 03/12/2022 18:43

StickyCricket · 03/12/2022 18:30

You have a very unhealthy thought process.

I can honestly say I pay absolutely no attention to what my neighbours do, spend, buy, etc and I’d hate to think that they believes anything I did was done only to “outdo” them.

I bet your neighbours have absolutely no idea that in your head, they are in competition with you.

She says herself that she’s really competitive and likes to outdo everyone else. My neighbours to the other side have a gorgeous house, lovely car, get professionals to come and do their decorations for every holiday and they don’t make me feel shit. It’s the nasty comments and digs and then the sulking if I get something that she doesn’t have yet. Most people just ignore her or tell her to piss off, but as I said my self esteem is shot after a bad relationship so I’m struggling to do that!

OP posts:

lightand · 03/12/2022 18:44

To do that, they are feeling very insecure.

lightand · 03/12/2022 18:45

Your neighbours are the ones with big problems.

Footballmyarse · 03/12/2022 18:45

She says herself that she’s really competitive and likes to outdo everyone else.

I would feel sorry for her to be honest. She must be an unhappy or insecure person to feel that way, let alone to voice it.

BorisJohnsonsHair · 03/12/2022 18:46

Although charities shouldn't have to exist, I'm always highly suspicious of anyone who makes remarks about the money not getting to them. It's just an excuse for not wanting to help other people. Bet they're horrible little right-wingers.

Original poster

GlowOn · 03/12/2022 18:47

Thanks for the stories, it does make me laugh when I picture complete strangers hard at work trying to do this😂

OP posts:

Alwayswonderedwhy · 03/12/2022 18:47

So I really like outdoor Christmas lights. If you were my neighbor and I put up more than you you'd assume I was doing it to be competitive?

I think this is a you problem.

OriginalUsername2 · 03/12/2022 18:47

Laugh and literally tell her that’s how she’s coming across to her neighbours.

Hungrycaterpillarsmummy · 03/12/2022 18:47

BorisJohnsonsHair · 03/12/2022 18:34

This sort of behaviour would make me do the exact opposite. They spend a fortune on their garden? I'd let my grass grow 2 feet long. New car? Leave mine to get old and never wash it. Etc etc.

I can't be doing with people thinking that they're better people because they spend more money (probably that they haven't got).

As a PP said, say you prefer to donate money to charity at this time of year, and somehow let them know that too many lights just look naff and tacky 😂

But you don't know that's what they think. You're projecting it onto them and you're basically just jealous.
How boring and petty.

softpilllow · 03/12/2022 18:48

How do you deal with them?

I don't really think you have to deal with them, the problem is how you feel about things they do.

Jaybird43 · 03/12/2022 18:49

@GlowOn my NDNs are similar - the man always mention to DH and I how much he earns / spends on a car / cost of a holiday. He is also quite critical of DH and I (for instance, putting Christmas lights on our house, getting a dog (!), projects DH does) but the man says it always in a “jokey” manner which I find most irritating. He is an ass and I honestly don’t know how his wife puts up with him! We never take anything he says to heart - he makes himself look a fool!

Just ignore them and focus on your life and happiness x

NoDairyNoProblem · 03/12/2022 18:52

She says herself that she’s really competitive and likes to outdo everyone else.

Honestly next time she she said anything to that effect I would just say ‘how very sad for you’ in your most affectionate tone with mild head shaking. What a sad individual she is.

CoffeeBeansGalore · 03/12/2022 18:52

Channel your inner Mrs Brown. If she corners you & starts boasting, just smile & say That's nice.
Don't interact any further & excuse yourself (must get on, bye etc).

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