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Original poster

We will all (hopefully) get old.

83 replies

dancingqueen123 · 02/12/2022 21:25

And it's fucking crap.
Currently watching my beloved parents navigate a crumbling NHS along with declining health and my mother trying to hold it all together with our support.
She's quite down about it at the moment and as much as I'm here for her & would do pretty much anything either if them need me to do.... it's just horrible getting old isn't it.

I'm wondering what the answer is.

OP posts:
Footballmyarse · 03/12/2022 13:21

*kill, not lol obviously

userxx · 03/12/2022 13:21

@Footballmyarse That's absolutely horrendous for you all, especially your dad. It's a cruel disease.

EmmaAgain22 · 03/12/2022 13:43

MadelineUsher · 03/12/2022 13:11

It's not that part of old age that the OP is talking about.

OP, and many others on this thread, are globalising from their own limited circles of experience. Old age is not all just dementia or Dignitas. It is so varied. Even extreme old age is varied. Some people - especially once they reach their nineties - do enjoy reasonable health, and then reach a point where they just die.

I don't happen to agree that it is "just horrible getting old". It certainly can be. But it isn't always that way at all.

I was actually wondering about stats on this. What % of people have good health and then die suddenly and what % suffer a lot before.

someone once told me only 5 or 6% of people end up in a care home. No idea if that's true.

mum being in respite care was an odd experience for me as well. First the relief of getting her out of hospital, then the realisation that she might not recover and she might live out her days in a room in a nice place, but still....not her home.

Upsidedownagain · 03/12/2022 14:12

By the time my mother went into a care home, she really had no sense of what was happening and barely knew who her family were. After another stroke, she lost all sense of self. I don't think she was necessarily in a "living hell" but it was painful to see and her death was a relief for the rest of us.

Greenfairydust · 03/12/2022 15:06

One thing that would make things better is stop voting in governments who don't value health and social care. The wealthy have enough money to use private healthcare and pay other people to look after their elderly so they don't give a damn about the rest of the population.

As long as we don't make a clear choice to fund services properly then things will continue to get worse.

I also think there needs to be a mature debate as to whether we want to keep alive people who have lost all quality of life.

I would really want to have the choice to end my life if I am no longer independent and in a decent state of health and require help with every bodily function...We spare our pets this suffering yet not people.

Original poster
dancingqueen123 · 03/12/2022 17:08

Greenfairydust · 03/12/2022 15:06

One thing that would make things better is stop voting in governments who don't value health and social care. The wealthy have enough money to use private healthcare and pay other people to look after their elderly so they don't give a damn about the rest of the population.

As long as we don't make a clear choice to fund services properly then things will continue to get worse.

I also think there needs to be a mature debate as to whether we want to keep alive people who have lost all quality of life.

I would really want to have the choice to end my life if I am no longer independent and in a decent state of health and require help with every bodily function...We spare our pets this suffering yet not people.

Completely agree with you!

OP posts:
Original poster
dancingqueen123 · 03/12/2022 17:08

Upsidedownagain · 03/12/2022 14:12

By the time my mother went into a care home, she really had no sense of what was happening and barely knew who her family were. After another stroke, she lost all sense of self. I don't think she was necessarily in a "living hell" but it was painful to see and her death was a relief for the rest of us.

I'm so sorry 💛

OP posts:
Original poster
dancingqueen123 · 03/12/2022 17:10

Footballmyarse · 03/12/2022 13:21

*kill, not lol obviously

So terribly sad Football. I'm so sorry for you all 💛

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