DD intimidated and kicked at school - help me prep for call with Head

[Ginandcolic]

Posting here for traffic.

DD is 10 and last week, she got chased into the loos at school by two girls (same year group - aged 10 / 11) with a history of being physically violent to other pupils.

DD was verbally intimidated, pushed about and kicked hard enough to leave a bruise on her leg. Other girls were there and corroborated this. Fortunately, one of the other girls went to get a teacher as DD was being blocked from leaving the loos.

The school glossed this over with a breezy email about high jinx and people getting a bit emotional followed by a moderated chat with the Head leaving everyone feeling much better about it all.

I've emailed to say their account does not match what my DD has told me and that other girls have told their parents the same version of events.

I'm waiting for a call from the Head who is apparently investigating this further (whatever that means).

On the one hand, I think if this happened anywhere outside school, I'd be pressing charges, especially as both the girls in question have form for this kind of behaviour so any sanctions the school is putting in place clearly aren't working.

But I could be hugely overreacting. I experienced violence as a child and it's important to me to make sure DD knows I am sticking up for her and I have her back, however, it could also be making me oversensitive.

Any advice or balanced perspectives would really be appreciated. I may not be able to reply for a few hours but I will be reading if anyone has time to respond.

TIA

I hope the other parents now always escalate to the head in writing!

All the parents of children who’ve been assaulted should write to the Head more or less saying what you have. The police will be involved if further assaults.
if these girls are like this at 11 can you imagine how they’ll be at 15/16 if not stopped?
Schools that pass assault off as “ high jinks” are appalling.

Massive round of applause here from me OP you did exactly what a parent should do. Much kudos as it's never easy standing up to authority!

Well done!

was going to post to say never feel bad for supporting your child but I saw the post above that you have spoken your piece.

Bullying is all around and unfortunately as in most things in life, you have to make a 'song and dance' about it to be listened to.

There was much bullying at my school but I never felt particularly picked on as everyone went through it! (not saying that made it ok)..

One girl in particular was smaller and wore glasses but I knew if I retaliated that is would be my fault ( " I thought you were such a nice quiet girl") and my parents would have been disappointed ("Why can't you just ignore them").

No one would have had my back so I am glad you are doing what you can.

To stop bullying it should be nipped in the bud. Teachers DO know it goes on.

I agree. If some workmates cornered us at the office, kicked us and stopped us from leaving a bathroom they'd be sacked and the police would likely be called. So why should it be different just because someone is a child? Children are even more vulnerable.

And of course kids know doing this is wrong - your DD wouldn't do it to anyone. They should fave the consequences.

Thank for your messages. I'm sure the school think I'm being a total twat but I want DD to know I will stick up for her.

It's ridiculous, DH said this morning that if a stranger did that to DD, he'd be dialling 999 but the school seems to think because it's a classmate that everyone should be fine with it. I guess so it makes their lives easier.

Well at least they have moved on to accepting it was assault and thank you for giving me the strength and validation to make that happen

Just in case anyone is still following the thread, I wanted to give a quick update as you've all be so kind in sharing your thoughts and support. The bully confronted DD on Tuesday at school accusing her of making everything up and told her to stop 'snitching' about everything. The bully did this in front of a lot of people so there was no question of what she said.

I went fucking ballistic and said I was going to the police if the school did not take strong action. So the bully has now been suspended. Any whiff of anything like this again and she's going to be expelled.

(Tbf the school may have suspended her anyway without my involvement but I'm sure it didn't hurt the decision making process)

I am so grateful for everyone's support as I may have been less sure of my footing in how to respond without all of your messages

I'm glad the school are stepping up at long last.

to you and your DD OP, well done for standing up for her.

Email the head, tell them they have one chance to explain what action they have taken to protect your daughter, to whom they have a duty of care, before you involve the police.

Give a time limit, 24 hours and then call the police.

Mention your local paper if you don’t get anywhere. Hi jinks!

Would she consider it hijinks if say two members of her staff kicked HER and trapped her in the loos?

@OriginalUsername2 perhaps read the thread and the OP's updates - the bully has been suspended.

Well done OP - that’s great the school have (finally) taken this seriously

I'm glad they are being forced to take notice.

I wouldn't give the school any credit for this. It has happened multiple times before and they were always happy to brush it under the carpet.

Great news OP

Amazing parenting, showing your DD that you have her back and not to tolerate such bullshit. It can seem a little daunting initially but you're doing super.