I don't want to buy the book my friend's written..

[splatfrog]

My friend went on a coaching course and has gathered a group of us together to practise her skills on, hosting zooms etc. She's now written a book about her insights and she's told us she expects us all to buy a copy. I don't want to. It's not my cup of tea and I only went on the zooms to make numbers up to help her practise. Everyone else seems very excited about it. In the current climate I have more important things to spend my money on. How can I nicely decline buying a copy when she asks without spoiling our friendship or feeling shameful myself?

'I don't need to read it, as I've already benefited so much from the brilliant Zoom coaching you did earlier this year!'

Urgh. A newly qualified coach writing a book about her “insights”. Hard pass. I assume she’s self publishing.

Just don't buy it and don't mention it. She would have to be very hard nosed to call you out directly. If she does say you prefer to keep friendships and finances separate.

This ^

I'd just tell her it's not the sort of topic you read so it would be pointless to buy it. If she says it's to help boost sales remind her she could use her own money to buy copies.

I would half-jokingly say that you expect a free signed copy for helping in their research.

A friend of mine has done a coaching course too, it seems to be like a cult, and the prices on her price list are extortionate. She’s charging £99 for an email!! Doesn’t seem to have any clients though. I feel it’s some sort of multi level scam thing and she has lots of new friends all pushing the same thing.

How much is it?

Buy it and gift to her for Christmas.

Tell her that she did such an excellent job coaching you that it has helped you do a lot of work on boundary setting, and you feel that her telling you you 'must' buy a book crosses a boundary.

That'll put her gas at a peep.

I've a friend who has been an executive coach for 15 years, has a masters in coaching and has done literally thousands of hours who says she's definitely got a book in her, but she doesn't feel wise enough yet! This is another form of MLM bullshit.

Don’t buy it, don’t say anything.

If she actually asks you to, then it’s some sort of MLM high-pressure sales thing. Just say no.

“Dear friend, thanks but I’m not going to buy the book. I can’t spare the cash for it - so many other things to pay for! Hope it’s going well.”

It's absolutely the new MLM. The ones who are 'making it' on Insta are making their money selling courses and personal coaching-to-coaches. It's not exactly the same in that there isn't a physical product that each layer has to buy from the layer above, but it's the same basic idea.

Awful. And worse in some ways, because ultimately the customer is likely to be some who is lost and struggling.

Btw, there is absolutely no reason why you should feel ‘shameful’ about saying no to this. Saying no is the right decision. Feel proud to stick to your convictions!

Is it for sale on Kindle or otherwise not a physical copy? Just say you bought it. Unless she has literally zero sales how’s she going to prove it either way.

All these posts from people with author friends wanting them to buy their books! Just don't buy it.

If it's around a tenner I would just buy it to support her.

I'd be concerned it wood lead to more requests - doing all the zooms was nice of you of itself and supportive

Life coaching is the latest MLM fad, and has the usual side-effect of all MLMs in that it breaks up friendship/family relationships when they see everyone as a potential client/downstream.

That's not totally bonkers. I have been a genuine contributor to a friend's book (a text-book kind of thing) and so the publishers are giving me (and the other contributors e.g those who appear in the photos or have submitted quotes) both a free copy of the book and vouchers to purchase other books from the publishing house.

If this book is a legitimate publication through a reputable publisher I would be expecting some compensation for my time.
Doesn't the author get copies to distribute too?

If it was a good book and I was proud of what I had put into it and what my friend had made of it then I might buy a copy for my mum or something but unless this is my best friend in the world or a topic close to my heart, I wouldn't be giving any more to the cause.

Sounds cringeworthy ha. Having said that I've bought a couple of books friends have written and self published largely for the entertainment value because they were just SO bad. The book of inspirational poetry/philosophical musings by a friend was particularly hilarious. So maybe get it on that basis? 😆

God how awful. Cringing for her. Agree it’s like an MLM. Any time anyone does anything like this i always think of when Jeremy in Peep Show became a life coach.

"Thanks for the information, hope the sales go well".

Tell her that you've gained so much during the group calls that you now have the confidence to say "No thank you.".

Say nothing, try to get away with it.

If she asks, say you're saving up for it.

How can I nicely decline buying a copy when she asks without spoiling our friendship or feeling shameful myself?

You don't have to buy it and you don't need a reason why. If she thinks that you are the one ruining the friendship by not buying her book, then she's not the kind of friend that you would want to have around.

If she is only trying to get her friends to buy her book so that it gets her book higher up in the ranks (like if she is putting it on Amazon and wants you guys to buy it and leave a review so her book gets higher up the sales ranks) then she should be giving you the money to buy it.

Brilliant!