I don't want to buy the book my friend's written..

[splatfrog]

My friend went on a coaching course and has gathered a group of us together to practise her skills on, hosting zooms etc. She's now written a book about her insights and she's told us she expects us all to buy a copy. I don't want to. It's not my cup of tea and I only went on the zooms to make numbers up to help her practise. Everyone else seems very excited about it. In the current climate I have more important things to spend my money on. How can I nicely decline buying a copy when she asks without spoiling our friendship or feeling shameful myself?

For me it would depend what wording she actually used when she said she 'expected' you to buy a copy and how much the book was. Given we know nothing about it the book, making fun of it and her hardly seems fair.

If fairly cheap I'd just support a friend, writing a book isn't as easy as it seems and is a big emotional investment for the person doing it. If it made no financial impact on me then I couldn't see an issue, it isn't as though you have to read or it or think it's good if you do - others might always find it useful or enjoy it. I have a friend that writes a type of book I don't enjoy at all (very small publisher, local interest sort of subject), I saw it in my local Waterstones and still bought it because was so pleased for her that they had a copy so sent a photo of it in situ and then paid for it. I donated it later on to someone that might have enjoyed it.

If you really aren't able to buy it or really don't want to just politely say so and ask if there are other ways you can support (sharing on social media, leaving a review etc). If she demands you buy it or makes you feel bad then I'd tell her directly that you won't be doing that but wish her all the best. That type of behaviour would be entirely on her and not for you to feel bad about, OP.

Unless she has literally zero sales how’s she going to prove it either way.

Don't lie.

If the strategy adopted is to try and force the people who deserve at least a 'could not have done it without you' kind of mention if not a comp. copy there could easily be no actual sales.

I'd stick to silence or changing the subject in response to any pressure to buy any book to which I had contributed. The most I would be prepared to do would be to leave a review.

If the strategy is to recruit lots of editors so that they will guarantee at least one book sold to each, then it's even more of a scam than I can imagine.

My OH is an Author, with one of the world's largest publishing houses. It's hard graft, writing, getting an Agent, a publisher and a book launched. At no point, has he ever asked anyone to buy his book. In fact when I mention it, I quickly follow up with "I am definately not hinting for you to buy it, im just sharing news". Otherwise it's pressuring people to part with their cash, which is bad form.

As posters have said its MLM. Instead of "...buy my crappy Ann Summers gear, Avon, Virgin makeup or Tupperware", it's "buy my book".

Just don't mention it again. Or tell her you've got some Tupperware you'd like her to buy 😏

I would happily lose the friendship.

Do you exchange Christmas presents with her? Ask her to get you a copy!

Me too and I have. She's on a fast track to being a weirdo cult mlm member, so it's best that ties are severed now anyway.