What age do you go from off school to get used to it?

[SecondaryPreparation]

When DC are feeling under the weather? I've always kept DC home when looking peaky or not feeling 100% as I figured there was no point sending them in to either spread it or catch something else. Plus my eldest has SN so sending him in would be pointless.

I think they're old enough to put up with it now if they've e.g. a light cold (no temp, slight sore throat but sound fine) and don't need any kind of medicine. They're old enough to follow basic hygiene rules etc. So I think they're old enough to accept life goes on when your not 100%. What age would that be for you?

What age would you move to dosing up
with e.g. Beechams or paracetamol and telling them to get on with it?

I will be shot down in flames for this but with dcs 1 and 2, I worked full time for the whole of their childhood. I had limited holiday and no flex so they had to be really unwell to stay home.
When they got to Secondary age and could stay home alone, I got more lenient!
With dc3 who is a teen and trustworthy, I trust her if she is not well enough for school.

This was how we were brought up and I agree with you that it has caused me long term problems - such as a failure to report what turned out to be broken bones due to fear of being told I was making fuss about nothing, and also I have been known to 'just get on with it' with what have turned out to be, at different times, pneumonia and meningitis.

With my own children I take it on a case by case basis - one of my daughters can't seem to fake illness because when she's genuinely ill she goes white as a sheet, there's no mistaking it. Fortunately she's rarely ill, her attendance has never been below 98% but there has been the odd occasion where she clearly hasn't been ill but I've felt she would benefit from a day off. She's a good student, she likes school and does well there so I don't believe I've done her any harm in this.

Well I keep mine home if they are ill but that means they are off school once every few years. At nursery they had a first winter of cold after cold but after that they have had robust constitutions (eldest 2 are teenagers). We've never had a bad sickness bug. Covid was 3 days of being a bit off colour. Even the child with asthma is rarely ill although he did have a bad cold last winter that resulted in a hospital visit and a week off school while on steroids and a change in his daily inhaler. But that was his first hospital trip for asthma for 5 years, it's normally well controlled.

I think it's difficult to judge. Some people's kids seem to be constantly ill and I don't know if it's physiological or psychological or a combination. Other people power on regardless even when they really shouldn't and some of us seem to be very lucky and never get these minor ailments.

If they are really teary/unwell in the morning, temperature, vomiting, I'll keep them off.

I was raised in the same way as you and ended up developing debilitating postviral fatigue for 2 years as I didn't rest when I got ill.

I think in general people need to stop seeing powering through as superior. No one would brag about failing to maintain their car or house, and it's the same with maintaining your body - you need rest and recovery when you're sick.

When it starts mattering if they miss school. Year 9 upwards?

That's a reflection of your parents rather than a reason not to do what is the overwhelming majority and common sense response

No one has suggested sending an actually Ill child to school, pretty much everyone sends in children with minor colds and peakiness which is what you asked about

If theyre too to young to judge for themselves, then youre judging how rubbish they feel and that shouldnt be weighted by how inconvenient it is for you really. Id say around 7 or 8 they can be encouraged to power through a bit but told that they can always get sent home if they feel terrible.

I wouldn’t send them if unwell, no matter what the age, but I don’t think powering through is healthy for adults either.

Like most. From birth.
Unless it is something where it is clear you can't - D&V, infectious disease etc., then they went in.

It's common sense and easy if they have a raging fever or a slight cough but there's a huge grey area in the middle. Opinions differ on how much of that grey area counts as "actually ill" and worthy of a day off.