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Original poster

What age do you go from off school to get used to it?

60 replies

SecondaryPreparation · 25/11/2022 07:46

When DC are feeling under the weather? I've always kept DC home when looking peaky or not feeling 100% as I figured there was no point sending them in to either spread it or catch something else. Plus my eldest has SN so sending him in would be pointless.

I think they're old enough to put up with it now if they've e.g. a light cold (no temp, slight sore throat but sound fine) and don't need any kind of medicine. They're old enough to follow basic hygiene rules etc. So I think they're old enough to accept life goes on when your not 100%. What age would that be for you?

What age would you move to dosing up
with e.g. Beechams or paracetamol and telling them to get on with it?

OP posts:
Oblomov22 · 25/11/2022 08:41

Ds1 and ds2 only took about 2 days off in the whole of schooling. Ds1 went to uni lectures with 'freshers flu'. If you kept kids off every time they 'felt a bit under the weather', they'd never be in!

DelurkingAJ · 25/11/2022 08:44

They stay off with D&V, a temperature that doesn’t drop and stay dropped or anything infectious (COVID aside I don’t think that’s ever been the case as they both had chickenpox as preschoolers). Doesn’t everyone always feel worst with a cold in the morning?

SliceOfCakeCupOfTea · 25/11/2022 08:48

I've kept DS off before when he didn't sleep. He had a nightmare and woke up at about 10pm and was too scared to go back to sleep. Dozed off every now and then but kept waking up.
He eventually fell asleep properly when the sun came up at about 7am so I left him to sleep and called him in sick. The school said that tiredness isn't a reason for staying off but it felt like the right thing to do so I stand by it.

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Original poster
SecondaryPreparation · 25/11/2022 08:51

Much as others have said if you’re not dying you can go to school! It’s the way I was brought up
It's the way I was brought up too and has caused me long term health and mobility issues. I'm not convinced it's a healthy attitude 🤷‍♀️

OP posts:
prescribingmum · 25/11/2022 08:54

From the day they started childcare. I generally find that once occupied, we feel better and forget we woke up a bit rough. If that doesn’t work, then they’re too unwell to be in school - I have had one child sent home on one occasion because this was the case.

Like majority, I keep home for D&V, and communicable illnesses.

I believe this instils the work ethic into them from an early age - my parents were the same with me and I’ve had two days off sick since going back to work from mat leave in 2019 (I am also very fortunate I don’t suffer from long term illnesses)

ExplainUnderstand · 25/11/2022 08:55

SecondaryPreparation · 25/11/2022 08:51

Much as others have said if you’re not dying you can go to school! It’s the way I was brought up
It's the way I was brought up too and has caused me long term health and mobility issues. I'm not convinced it's a healthy attitude 🤷‍♀️

How has going to school when feeling a bit "peaky" caused long term health issues?

No one's suggesting a properly ill child should go to school

Original poster
SecondaryPreparation · 25/11/2022 09:01

If you kept kids off every time they 'felt a bit under the weather', they'd never be in!
I don't think that's true though, is it? DS hasn't had any time off this year and DD got herself sent home yesterday...

@ExplainUnderstand the ignore everything, it'll be fine, you're not dying and power through mentality.

OP posts:
MrsMariaReynolds · 25/11/2022 09:03

Just dealt with this this morning with my 14 year old. He woke up claiming to feeling rubbish (scratchy throat and stuffy nose, but no temperature), begging for a day off. I dosed him up with paracetamol and by the time he was ready to leave, he was his usual self...albeit with the sniffles. He struggles in school and he in his GCSE years so I am hard on attendance. Every moment counts.

geroveryersen · 25/11/2022 09:07

Am trying to remember the last time either of mine (ds 12 & ds 11) had a day off school for illness and really struggling, think it was one of them for one day for a rugby concussion last winter, prior to that would have been before covid. Perhaps a day a year each?

Maybe we're just fortunate to not have chronic health conditions but we are most definitely a paracetamol / ibuprofen and get on with it household and I think its a good mentality to have for school / workplace. I heard a friend of a friend who's 13 year old was on something like 80% attendance this year because they were being allowed to stay at home for every sniffle / tummy ache, that's 20% of their school curriculum missed and that's outrageous.

Whitewolf2 · 25/11/2022 09:12

Weve always sent the dc in with colds unless they have a temperature, if they get worse in the day the school can always send them home. I am so sorry you have health issues, could they be clouding your judgment here a little? For most kids carrying on with a cold will not hurt them.

houseargh · 25/11/2022 09:13

With a light cold? From when she started nursery full-time at 12 months....

Fleabigg · 25/11/2022 09:17

As others have said, only if really unwell or for D&V. DD had 3 days off sick in 4 days of nursery and hasn’t needed any time off school. I can’t see how being sent to school while “peaky” as a child could have given you long term health problems but if you want to keep your kids off for mild colds then just do it, you don’t need to come up with a spurious justification.

Fleabigg · 25/11/2022 09:17

*4 years

RockyOfTheRovers · 25/11/2022 09:18

Fever or vomiting, they stay off school.
Otherwise, I base it on whether they’re in a fit state to learn anything. If whatever the problem is has kept them from sleeping all night, then a day off will get them back on track and ready to learn quicker than dragging out the exhaustion through the whole week.

glowingtwig · 25/11/2022 09:29

Try telling that to nursery who still refuse to administer Calpol because of Covid and send them home at the slightest temp or cold when they are perfectly well in themselves...

TwitTw00 · 25/11/2022 09:31

SecondaryPreparation · 25/11/2022 08:51

Much as others have said if you’re not dying you can go to school! It’s the way I was brought up
It's the way I was brought up too and has caused me long term health and mobility issues. I'm not convinced it's a healthy attitude 🤷‍♀️

What is your child's typical attendance rate in a school year? The expected rate is 97% if no underlying health issues.

SkankingWombat · 25/11/2022 09:31

Chicken pox, D&V or similar illnesses they stay home (obviously!) and we observe the isolation periods, otherwise they go in to 'see how they get on'. School will always send them home if they are too unwell, but it has only happened once that I had to collect a DC who was sent in a bit under the weather and deteriorated. This is for 2 DCs with a combined 4yrs of nursery/preschool and 8yrs of school. There have of course also been times I've sent them in happy and well but they've later been sent home poorly.

PaulGallico · 25/11/2022 09:42

Unless vomiting, diahorrea..told to stay home by GP mine always went to school from day one. I think you have to get them into that routine from the start.

Changechangychange · 25/11/2022 09:45

Depends on how sick they are? If I’ve needed to give Calpol that morning I generally keep DS off, because he is presumably contagious. Honestly it’s annoying as 50% of the time he is then bouncing around all day fit as a fiddle, but you can’t predict that.

Otherwise, with coughs and sniffles, he goes in.

TwinklingStarlight · 25/11/2022 09:45

I've not really thought of it as an age thing. The rule I was brought up with was unless your have a fever or D&V, you need to go. I am definitely more relaxed than that and I find a judicious day off if they are feeling really ropey (especially when it aligns with my day off) gets them over the hump. They then often manage to go back in for the rest of the week. But they have always gone in with minor colds. It's trying to tread a line between teaching a bit of grit and encouraging some self-compassion and keeping germs to yourself. I think that's true at all ages.

In secondary and in Y6, having to catch up the work is enough of a deterrent for my two most of the time. Unless they have an obvious fever we don't decide until they are up, breakfasted and had a hot drink.

With SEN it's different and more about what level of support they have in school.

hotelpink · 25/11/2022 09:50

I'm in the opposite camp. If mine were not quite right they stayed at home. I think it's very much about treating them as individuals. There can't be a blanket 'you must go unless X/Y/Z' as all situations and children are not the same.

One of mine gets severely distressed if they are even slightly under the weather so that would always mean a day off as it would be disruptive to everyone and upsetting for the child.

One of them missed months of school due to a horrific virus that left them with a really low immune system and chronic fatigue. It took years to recover fully but if they were at all unwell after that I kept them off otherwise it just risked a flare up and liber off school in the long run.

All of my DC are autistic though so your standard 'this is how we do things' usually doesn't apply.

Original poster
SecondaryPreparation · 25/11/2022 09:56

@TwitTw00 last year just over 97%, discounting covid.

OP posts:
VirginiaQ · 25/11/2022 10:00

From day 1. I'd give them calpol and tell them to tell the teacher if they felt too poorly to stay and I'd come and get them. Both adults now and never once got called to collect. In fact the eldest never had a day sick in the whole of his school career. Obviously if vomiting etc they wouldn't go in but never for 'feeling a bit under the weather'.

JustFrustrated · 25/11/2022 10:00

Mine have always been "dying or in" unless it's infectious and vile such as D&V/Impetigo.

But my two have always been healthy kids, rarely even a cold between them.

So if they're ill now, and it's obvious I'm far more likely to give them a day off as they get older than I would have been when they were younger.

You just know your kids, I can tell with the eldest when she's due on for example, because I know her. I know her skin tone, her scent, her eyes....so I can tell if something is different/ill.

But then, I appreciate that I'm lucky in that both kids would be frustrated to miss school. Eldest has to have a tonsillectomy in the near future, which apparently requires 2 weeks off school afterwards.... she's already moaning about it

Terracottage · 25/11/2022 10:02

Probably was a lot more lax about it when they were babies, but didn't need not to be. Once they were in childcare so I could work and study they were on the same rules as me. I don't send them in sick or with a temperature, anything like that (unless they were teething or it was a mild temp following a vaccine but they were otherwise fine). I did keep one of mine home a lot more, but he is asthmatic so any cold would go to his chest so he could be really quite ill with an upper respiratory tract infections, and needed regular inhalers as well which nursery weren't equipped to deliver through a spacer or allowed to give the steroidal one (now that he's on self administered ventolin he can do that at school, but still gets more sick days than my other kids not going to lie). So I think it depends a bit on whether they have any underlying health conditions and how well they manage being ill, I fall to pieces the moment I get an even slightly raised temp and one of my kids is the same, so on the odd occasion when I've tried to just give calpol and push them in I get a call at lunchtime anyway to come and get them.