Is anyone happy these days?

[Liuckle]

It feels like people were happier in the 90s for example. I miss hope and positivity

And I don't agree with people blaming modern technology. I enjoy FB. During covid there were times (rare) I turned the news off. I just refuse to let technology ruin my mental state.

I work for a company who is striking because of unfair terms and conditions. Shareholders ruling the roost and lining their pockets whilst honest, hard working people who serve the country get shat on. I used to love my job, I think back to happier times.

I have a baby who will be going into nursery. I pay more than half my wages into childcare...whilst the nursery workers still get paid very little. The system is messed up. Women are expected to be more and do more as a society...be a mother, work full time, have a career, look good and be everything to everyone.

My niece who is 19 has just got lip fillers! It sickens me the world of Instagram and tiktok, shows like the kardashians have normalised this shit. People , especially women again can't just age gracefully anymore. When I downloaded tiktok the first videos that popped up was women who went and had a gastric sleeve in turkey and showing off their weight loss. I can't believe young women are exposed to this.

Climate change is fast and furious and yet we are still at square one with making changes. The government couldn't care less it seems.
Our food industry is rotten to the core

Mental health struggles are rife and doctors just throw tablets at us.

Then the cost of living.

Yeah...it's hard to stay positive with what feels like people are destroying the planet.

As an individual, I have a lovely life, gorgeous supportive, very loving DH, beautiful baby boy, lovely home in the country with easy access to London, two adorable dogs, a small but solid friendship group, great family. However, I find it hard to be in the moment and feel truly ‘happy’ when animals and children are being exploited, children are living in poverty and the world is such a shit show. I do try and live in a bubble but my mind won’t allow it. I wish I could just switch off to the horrors of the world as life is short but I do find it hard to be truly happy when I know others are suffering.

With the glass half empty / glass half full thing, I don’t think it’s a choice necessarily.

It depends on how you naturally are. I’m generally upbeat, positive, smiling & hopeful.

My friend is downcast, negative, agitated & fearful. She often compares herself to others.

And nothing in life is ever enough for her. She has a great DH, lovely kids, two homes, two cars...

She’s not depressed. It’s just who she is. Doesn’t make her less of a good friend, either. It’s just her way.

My friend always assumes I’m faking it & that it must none hard work keeping up my “happy facade”.

no wars or terroism in the 90s ?????

Or maybe, as a child, you just weren't aware, and weren't following the news at the time and haven't bothered to check facts before posting such nonsense ?

I'm always a bit amazed by the stories of people getting jobs back in my grandparents era, like oh, so and so heard the factory was hiring so they turned up and were instantly given a job for life. Or at school, they told you to choose teaching or nursing and you just decided on nursing and that was that.

I know it was different because back then you had a choice of being maybe 2 or 3 things if that, whereas today there is a dizzying array of options and probably that's also why you have dozens of applicants for every job, TBH it's a bit overwhelming now.

I don't think I know anyone who's happy. Everyone I know well enough to know is on antidepressants.

I think I was quite happy before covid, but everything seems to have gotten drearier.

I did see this mental health lecture a while ago though where the dr said in terms of using therapy to treat financial issue induced depression that its basically a waste of time, because the depression that comes with being poor just can't be remedied by anything other than money

People in general are more scared, worried and angry these days.

Now there is constant access to the media. News alerts on your phone. The negativity is very readily available.

Like many pps, I feel happy in my own individual life. I have a lot to be grateful for. But I find it hard to tune out the feeling of despair in the air, and to block out the very real challenges we all face.

@ImustLearn2Cook your post really resonates with me, especially:

"One of them is feeling like we have very little ability to actually make the world a better place. A sense that the future is doomed and we are powerless to do anything."

Not me. Had 2 cancers and had to go through treatment etc, appointments alone due to covid rules. Same time my lovely gentle SN son, very bright, a month in school said find another school. LA could not find one. School then started calling police each time he wandered. He was terrified. Last time police handcuffed him, he was taken to hospital, sectioned, handcuffed again, held down by 4 security guards and force drugged. In catatonia ever since literally frozen in fear and they won't release him as he is too bad. Absolute nightmare, he is mute so no right for him or us and we are not allowed a say in his care. I cannot be happy knowing how much he is suffering locked away in a bare room. Loads of people will help with cancer, noone helps a SN child. I just spend all day crying as noone will help. Average stay for a child like him is 5.5 years but he is asd not mentally ill but there is no help for asd. No school would take him that was free and la would not pay.

@MotherofPearl That paragraph in particular has come from listening to my dd’s half brother and his friends who are now in their mid 20’s but I’ve known since they were teenagers.

It is such a stark contrast to how myself and my peers thought and felt at their age. We weren’t particularly worried about the future. We believed that we could change the world and make it a better place. We had hope, confidence and idealistic views of the future. We knew about climate change back then but truely believed that we could fix it. We planted trees, recycled, created educational programs about how to save the planet.

I hear people say that our positive views and experiences of the past is because we were young. And I do think that there is some truth to that.

However, when I hear younger people with a bleaker outlook I then start to question why?

I do think circumstances can change. So, not all hope is lost. Who really knows what the future holds or how humanity might respond. We may have a revolution that turns us around and points us in the right direction.

P.s. Hopefully, if we do have a revolution it will be a non violent one. Perhaps based on innovation and creativity and collaboration. 😊

I'm happy most of the time. I rent, have a little money in the bank and a part-time job. I have always been pretty much content with my lot and don't hanker after things I can't have.

I agree. There is an agenda to pit people against each other, stir up anxiety and focus on horror that is unremitting. The world is a very negative, angry place. It’s hard to focus on the good things and be happy in such a situation. We are constantly reminded of misery. TV programmes focus so much on murder, the darker side of life and dysfunction too. I think you have to be very selective about how you spend your time and what you focus on .

Most people seem to be on antidepressants these days. It’s a comment on our times.

I’m happy and I think it comes from contentment with where you are at in your life. Could things be better? Of course because it’s human nature to always want more, that’s what drives progress and new inventions!

But on a personal level, I’m in a happy and loving marriage, have lovely grown up DC and 2 young adult (17 & 18) DC, grandchildren that are doing well, a nice home, a car, yes, my body is a bit broken (various slipped discs, 2 sprained ankles and deltoid ligament damage, a knee that even wearing jeans hurts, due to bursitis, have to walk with a stick, pretty much a whole pandemic in myself!), but I’m otherwise in good health, (apart from an autoimmune disease and recently diagnosed ADHD) touch wood haven’t had Covid yet, the weather is glorious where I live and I don’t have to worry about winter or cold for another 7 months, my seedlings are sprouting, my lawn is looking good and the retinol is doing it’s job (someone recently told me that I look about 33!). I’ve been lucky enough to study widely and have 3 vastly different degrees and am about to start another one. So yes, I’m content and I count my blessings everyday.

So yes, it could be better (lottery win, big inheritance, etc.,) but I think it’s important to focus on what is good in the moment as no one knows what will happen in the next hour, let alone the next day/week/month/year!

I applied for a new job in 2012 and the interviewer asked me where I saw myself in 5 years, a hard question I think as who has a crystal ball? What I didn’t foresee was leaving the UK within 2 years to come back to this country. I think having 2 or more citizenships, being able to speak 7 languages, having travelled widely, were all things that have helped me and allowed me to be at peace with where I am.

It always upsets me when I hear of kids that my own children know, that get pregnant at 16/17. Yes, they will be young when that child grows up, but the chances are, they will have more children as the first one grows up and I wonder if they will be contented when they get to my age? Will they feel that opportunity has passed them by and have regrets? No one should have regrets in life.

Life hasn’t been easy, I lost 2 children who were 16 and 19 and it hurts. Every day. But I have my other children, my husband, some of my wider family (that’s the problem with aging, all your aunts and uncles start to pass away), my friends, my cat. I have nice food to eat, am never hungry, I don’t live in a country that is plagued by war and has a low crime rate. I am living in a country where the standard of living is high, (as is the cost of living, but so are wages) and where I don’t need to own a coat. I’m starting to finally learn gardening, in terms of herbs and veggies and I’m hoping my blackberry bush will bloom into life. I thought my lettuce sprout had died but that’s come back to life and perhaps my tomato plant will yield something. Any gardening tips gratefully received! I figured that blackberry bushes grow wild in the UK so felt that even I couldn’t kill one of those!

So, yes, I’m happy right now 🙂

I am. We lead quite ‘small’ life - small home (which we could probably upsize, but we like not having to overly worry about the bills). There are issues, obviously from time to time, but I am for the most part, happy and content.

The best thing I’ve done is switch off the news. With 24/7 rolling news, they need to create content and shock. Turning it off and unfollowing any news on Twitter has been the best thing I have done for mental state.

I totally agree. It’s just difficult as OH is addicted to it.

What a lovely post. I would really like to know where you live?

@RosettaStormer I was too! It’s a hard habit to break… I would come down and switch it on at 6am, and it would be on in the background all day. The negativity just seeps in. I specifically started putting (trashy!) series on Netflix, just to have something else on.

Although I’m not religious, the Serenity prayer makes so much sense to me.

Grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can, and the wisdom to know the difference.

I think the difference was'no wars or terrorism that directly affected us'. There was an article in the economist this morning showing more deaths in Europe from the resultant energy prices than from fighting in Ukraine.

I think we'll find some of the IRA terrorism in the 90s most definitely did affect some people. I was a child in the 90s and yet remember it. 2 children died in Warrington in 1993.