Is anyone happy these days?

[Liuckle]

It feels like people were happier in the 90s for example. I miss hope and positivity

Most people / family are fairly happy I think but then I'm older than most mumsnetters and many of them have grown up children and are retired or working in jobs they like and financially they are not too badly off. My siblings are boomers and seem to be jogging along.
It's the younger generation that are finding it tougher and having mortgage / rent to pay and young children is hard for them. I feel for them.
One of my friends is struggling a lot though and I wished I could help her more as she's had it hard and I know that her depression is so hard for her.
It's a mixed bag really.

I was born at the beginning of the 90s and it was a happy time.
Trashy Christmas decorations, trash bags for Halloween costumes, no phones/tablets, no social media, the internet wasn't a big thing and when it was we had neopets!! (If anyone remembers neopets you are awesome.), cartoons on a Saturday morning, no wars or terroism, it was a simpler time.
I think that's what people miss.

I think the political landscape is bleak. Brexit; this corrupt, dishonest Tory government; Russia, Trump, Johnson - it all feels very hopeless and joyless. When I was in my 20s the world felt like it was progressing - we were about to sign the Maastricht Treaty and many young people felt excited about the idea of travelling and living in Europe. It felt like the world was opening up. Now it feels like we're going backwards. I feel bad for young people today.

I’m definitely happier now but did enjoy the eighties.

No wars?

There were - but as a child perhaps you didn't notice

Yugoslavia break up was horrific

I agree wholeheartedly with @ImustLearn2Cook first paragraph.

Obviously it’s an age and stage thing with life as well in the 1990’s I was out partying and falling in love and still very young so no aches and pains.

I am doing fine now, on a personal level I had the worst thing in the world happen to me and that was a child die 8 years ago. Having gone through what I can only describe as a darkness in my life that I didn’t know could exist I’m grateful I can enjoy things again though it took a long time. I had what I would call a perfect moment this summer, there really aren’t many in the entirety of our lives. There can be plenty of nice moments but not perfect.

My son was teasing me last night and he said you will miss the banter when I move out Mum and I will. He and I are very alike personality wise. Both protagonists and like to entertain and host. I lost that role when I was depressed after her death, I lost friends at that point but I did find out who my real ones were.

Once I came out of my total misery I started volunteering and worked as a cook for 18 months at a food project for homeless and low income people. Circumstances can change frighteningly quickly. I lost a career I loved at that time as was too depressed to work. I am changed forever but have found a way to live.

yes I would consider myself happy - I rarely watch/read the news. control what you can yourself and don't expect too much. let things go!

The nostalgia of youth makes us think times were happier and easier.

I think smartphones are the reason why it seems more doom and gloom - we have all the worlds ills in our pockets. Previously it was just the 9 o clock news.

Economically the 80s and 90s weren’t prosperous or peaceful - iraq war, Rwanda, balkans, home repossessions, unemployment etc

Its just that you didn’t have those with more shoved in your face via insta / Facebook and you didn’t have constant images from war zones or online chats about the cost of living. It turns out there is such thing as too much knowledge

@WhatTeaspoon Firstly I am so sorry for your terrible loss and secondly you have an incredible attitude and outlook which no doubt contributes towards the lovely relationship you have with your son. There is a message in that

I’m feeling pretty unhappy at the moment. Drudgery of being at home all day with two small children (eldest being 2 and tantruming a lot, youngest being 6 months and not sleeping/screaming a lot). Husband just been made redundant. No time or space for self care or doing anything for myself - we’re both focused completely on the children and he’s job hunting and it gets to the end of the day and all I have the energy for is eating and collapsing into bed. My face is visibly aging and I’ve put on weight. House a mess. Worrying about money constantly. Not very much to look forward to. Everyone in the house has a cold at the moment. And that’s before you start thinking about the state of the world.

Doctor has given me a prescription for sertraline and it’s been sitting on the shelf looking at me for a week. I think I might take my first one today. Everything felt a lot lighter before the pandemic, it’s just all gone to shit since then.

@ShadowPuppets This stage can be really hard when children aren’t sleeping. I’ve been through it and had my DH be made redundant and it’s a bloody hard time.

Without sounding like a ‘live laugh love’ poster I would urge you to find the happiness in each day where you can - seek it out.

Does your 2 year old like to jump in muddy puddles , jump around in piles of leaves - take them out, put a cover on the buggy and do it. Go to the library and sit whilst your toddler explores.

Get out for a daily walk whatever the weather (alone) and put on your favourite podcast.

If money is tight but a body lotion and some pampering stuff, candles etc in lidl /aldi ( it’s actually nice!) and give yourself some time to look after you. Even if it’s only 10 minutes, indulge in it.

These are all some cheap / free things that can lift the spirits. You may need the antidepressants to help, I can’t speak to that, but seeking out joy and happiness makes such a difference. I remember one day someone saying to me ‘you choose your attitude’ and this made all the difference to me. I should add that I am not suggesting this would work for clinical depression or anxiety but it does help for situational sadness and maybe that is what you are experiencing.

I know many people who seem “meh”
ok for money, not super struggling and not super rich
ok with friends/family
ok in their job

but hardly any passion?
it’s like a perpetual hangover

@Chococrimbo thank you for that lovely message :) it’s really kind of you to take the time to type it out and while it’s a lot of things I ‘ought’ to know, it’s so hard to remind myself of at the moment. I’ve screenshotted your post and will come back to it when I’m feeling bleak. Thank you

No wars or terrorism in the 90s?

Am I happy as a person? yes. I am really happier and more confident now that I am older.

Am I happy with what is going on in this country/my environment? no. I despair at what has happened to this country in the past few years.

No wars or terrorism in the 90s? No I think this is just called your parents didn't expose you to the news.

I do think the media is much more doom and gloom and extremes, because that's what gets clicks/shares whereas it used to be they had a platform and could put out more balanced content, also social media tends to drive people into echo chambers which can be harmful, but I also think that people are a bit more honest about mental health struggles today - in the 90s and earlier, you were kind of expected to get a grip and get over it, so many people hid the way that they were feeling.

Although it doesn't feel that things are getting better, globally progress is being made and that includes the UK as well. There are probably a lot of things about the 2020s that are an improvement over 30 years ago, despite the fact that people are also struggling. People always have.

Job hunting is demoralizing and so difficult these days , add in family stress or money woes and it can be relentless.
My Dh was lucky to have his old job for over forty years , but job security these days is also a thing of the past.
Life is tougher now and there is more expectation to have the perfect life too. Which isn't totally achievable for anyone really.
I feel there are more pressures on people than there was in the 90s.
Social media doesn't help , in my day you didn't really know what people had ( for example)

I’m a hell of a lot happier than I was in the 90’s.

social media and constant computer use is very damaging for many though.

I guess anyone who remembers the 1990s is now old enough to have taken a few knocks and to carry some tedious responsibilities. I was in my teens then so I was more joyful, more fun, more insecure, more free, more hopeful, more fearful, and more pert.

Now I am content rather than ecstatic, more self confident, fun has to be moderate because I will not be allowed to sleep it off, I am more sanguine, less free and sadly gravity has taken a toll. No complaints overall .

Im generally happy but a worrier. I just want life to be easier for my kids. They have no inheritance from granny to back on. Or connections to smooth the way. They study and work hard but thats not enough starting out these days.

@WhatTeaspoon Thank you for sharing your journey. I agree with @Chococrimbo. You do have an incredible attitude and outlook. I’m sorry for your loss. Thank you for the reminder that circumstances can change rather quickly. They can change for the good or the bad. They can change again and become better or a little easier over time. 💐

It is SO hard to remember when you have a crying baby and a tantruming toddler in front of you, of course it is.

If it’s any comfort I had a genuinely volcanic toddler but she has grown into the most delightful child and teen whereas my angelic toddler is basically Kevin the teenager so it does pass !

It absolutely is enough to succeed. Maybe it’s not enough to get on the property ladder young but plenty of people do well with neither

I agree. Brexit, then covid, now austerity measures and worrying about heating bills. It does feel a bit miserable and gloomy.

I agree with PurpleButterfly, it's all relative. I have never been anxious and I refuse to let current events rob me of the joys in life.