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Original poster

Has anyone left a really stressful job and regretted it?

32 replies

supertato32 · 22/11/2022 10:07

I've posted a few times about my stressful job! But I've realised I can't carry on. It's really affecting my mental health and is affecting the time I spend with my daughter. Out of the blue I have been approached by a recruiter for two jobs and am going to see if anything comes of them. And if not, I have decided to hand in my notice end of January and go freelance. Has anyone quit a really stressful job and regretted it? I've asked friends and they only have positive experiences but it's making me anxious thinking about it (probably due to the stress I'm under) xxx

OP posts:
StollenAway · 22/11/2022 10:41

Left and don't regret in the slightest. Smile

Original poster
supertato32 · 22/11/2022 11:15

@StollenAway thank you. I will have less income but by the time I pay for childcare, travel and the mental stress and lack of self care the job brings I'm starting to think if it's worth it xxx

OP posts:
RunLolaRun102 · 22/11/2022 11:17

Go for it! I had a stressful job, left it for slightly less money but much more relaxed and no commuting costs. 2 years later I earn more money than I did before and its still has brilliant as ever.

ViewFromTheAfternoon · 22/11/2022 11:19

I left a stressful job. I would sit in my chair thinking I just can't do this anymore. I was miserable, I would cry in the shower most nights after work. I quit for a lower paid job but the feeling of relief and not having so much dread and anxiety the nights before work far outweigh the pay difference. It's just not worth it, you should prioritise your mental well-being 💝

Woodlandarchitect11 · 22/11/2022 11:20

I left. Things got worse after I left and I'm relatively unscathed (albeit much more anxious and require meds)

However, I left and jumped ship too quickly. And my new role was terrible - I was made redundant shortly after I joined and have struggled to find a new role since

Somehow the feeling of being unemployable is as bad as the toxicity of the role I was in.

But I'm in a rural part of the UK with no big cities nearby so jobs are fewer and far between. With 100s of applicants per role.

(I'm trying Jeremy Hunt, I really am).

Els1e · 22/11/2022 11:36

No. Left a stressful job for one on less money but manageable. No regrets at all. Wonder why I hadn’t done it earlier.

SierraSapphire · 22/11/2022 11:39

I've done it three times and picked up freelance work each time, I've now been working for myself for 10 years, I think I'm probably unemployable now! There are lots of downsides to being self-employed, but I don't think I could cope with the restrictions of an organisation again.

Woodlandarchitect11 · 22/11/2022 11:50

@SierraSapphire I'm tempted to go self employed but have no idea how to start. I'm definitely unemployable given my gappy CV thanks to redundancy etc.

SierraSapphire · 22/11/2022 12:12

It happened by accident really for me @Woodlandarchitect11 I had intended to get a job but then I was just offered freelance work when I left the first time. Most people start with existing contacts I think, but if you've been out of work then that's more difficult. There is a Facebook group called Freelance Heroes, which might be useful for you to get some ideas about what people do and how they've approached it.

Deathraystare · 22/11/2022 14:11

No way!!!! Left a job at a University teaching hospital - very toxic Head of Dept and now doing bank work (temp work) so less money and not working all the time but mentally much better off.

Scarecrowrowboat · 22/11/2022 14:12

Left and haven't regretted it for a second.

Original poster
supertato32 · 22/11/2022 14:21

Love all these responses! Thanks ladies, I'd be happier serving coffee for less money snd more job satisfaction! I've worked in my industry for 20 years and in my current role for six and the work is insane! They make people redundant but you still have the same workload! Five years ago, there were five people on one team now there are two of us doing three times the work, and we're always criticised for doing our job (rather than someone higher up looking at the work load and seeing it's crazy)!

OP posts:
Christmasdecorationsareup · 22/11/2022 14:27

I regretted having to leave a stressful job (if that makes sense) and occasionally put on my rose-tinted glasses about aspects that I miss. Ironically though the very fact I am able to reflect on the experience is so different to how my life was in the job. Everything was centred around it. I am so glad i got out when I did.

Original poster
supertato32 · 22/11/2022 14:57

@Christmasdecorationsareup I know, it's crazy to look back at a job and think it wasn't that bad! But what you've written makes me feel like it was the right decision for you?

OP posts:
MsLucyEyelesbarrow · 22/11/2022 15:06

"Stressful" can be a number of things, though. The best jobs I've ever done have been hugely stressful, with complex work, unrealistic timescales, and loads of problems. I find any job that doesn't have those challenges dull, and I struggle to get motivated to do them, which in turn makes me unhappy. One of the key things is to recognise what are the factors that motivate you, and what makes you happy, and find a job that meets those criteria. I hope you find something that is right for you. :-)

Ihatethenewlook · 22/11/2022 15:08

I think the obvious thing here is to make sure you have a job to go to before you quit

Byfleet · 22/11/2022 15:08

I was in a very stressful job for more than 20 years. It was making me miserable, and really boring because it was all I could talk about. As soon as I left I wondered why on earth I had stayed so long. Everything about my life is better now and after a short while of doing other bits and pieces a great job appeared.

But, I have to say that I although leaving the job was the right thing to do there are certain aspects that I still really miss. It was a large organisation that I felt a part of (even though they treated everybody like crap) and I miss some of my colleagues so, so much especially the laughs. There is something about bad jobs that really brings like minded people together. I left during covid and because I was at the end of my tether emotionally and we were all working from home, the leaving wasn't a proper ending and I didn't do what I could have to stay in touch (they did, but I didn't). I think it is worth trying to work out what the few things you think you might miss about the job and trying to recreate them in your life or next job.

Christmasdecorationsareup · 22/11/2022 15:10

I didn't explain that very well did I? 😂, I know everyone's experience of a stressful job is different but for me it took over my life, I went to bed late every night because the only time I felt stress leave my body was in the early hours when no one was awake. I planned everything around the fact that I needed my life to be as stress free outside of work - which impacted on my personal life and everything was about getting through the day in that environment.

I will never regret leaving that job - although ironically I did not realise how bad it was until it was well behind me. I don't think you will feel amazing the day after leaving, or maybe even the month after leaving but my life is immeasurably better than it was. And it still isn't particularly easy.

I do regret that I was put in that position, and I personally regret how poor I was at recognising how unhealthy it all was as it was happening. But better late than never!

I hope that makes more sense!

Original poster
supertato32 · 22/11/2022 15:10

@MsLucyEyelesbarrow I don't mind good stress! But the stress in my current role is down to lack of resource and lack of help! I also am a single parent, I never see my daughter and I often don't pick her up until just as the nursery is about to close, as I'm working later than I should (before children this wouldn't be a problem)! Once I've paid childcare and outgoings I'm left with very little. I feel I'm near to burnout but can't take a day sick as there is literally nobody in the office to do my work it's very time sensitive!

OP posts:
bumpytrumpy · 22/11/2022 15:26

supertato32 · 22/11/2022 15:10

@MsLucyEyelesbarrow I don't mind good stress! But the stress in my current role is down to lack of resource and lack of help! I also am a single parent, I never see my daughter and I often don't pick her up until just as the nursery is about to close, as I'm working later than I should (before children this wouldn't be a problem)! Once I've paid childcare and outgoings I'm left with very little. I feel I'm near to burnout but can't take a day sick as there is literally nobody in the office to do my work it's very time sensitive!

Sounds like could quit and offer your services back to them freelance on your terms.

Or just "quiet quit". Stop doing the extra hours etc. What would happen if the work didn't get done?

BlooberryBiskits · 22/11/2022 15:29

Ihatethenewlook · 22/11/2022 15:08

I think the obvious thing here is to make sure you have a job to go to before you quit

^ this. If the organisation you work for has unreasonable expectations look elsewhere for a role in your field with better pay and less stress: I have been able to do this without too much trouble

BlooberryBiskits · 22/11/2022 15:30

PS - got a pay rise too, sometimes it’s just the particular job you have, not your level

Original poster
supertato32 · 22/11/2022 15:31

@bumpytrumpy I'd get bollocked and the company would lose a shit load of money!

OP posts:
Original poster
supertato32 · 22/11/2022 15:33

@BlooberryBiskits I have actually applied for two jobs, but am also in a position where I could survive on part time/freelance work if I needed to (and no, not on benefits)! Thanks for your reply xxx

OP posts:
MintJulia · 22/11/2022 15:33

No, I've left two really stressful jobs in a row, and oh the relief.
I've not regretted either for a nanosecond.

No job is worth that level of stress.

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