No one warns you when you have kids, that it gets harder when they grow up, do they?
My lovely child's marriage partner has , after several years, walked out. Just said they didn't want to be there any more. For context my child has been the sole earner, partner not worked at all during or before their marriage due to anxiety. No children thank fully. My child bought the house, pays the mortgage and all bills etc . Works in a career that isn't particularly family friendly (they usually marry others in the same career tbh) but the stay at home partner wanted it that way. Til a few months ago when partner suddenly appeared to overcome their anxiety , started going out, partying and appears to be having a relationship.. emotional if not yet physical.
My child is devastated and bewildered, because there were no signs anything was wrong and they were happy that their partner was getting out and having fun.
(ex) partner is legally able to claim half of everything of course. Which is the law. Child is beyond terrified that they are going to lose their home, is in the middle of studying for exams that they have to pass, still loves the ex deeply, and their life has literally turned upside down overnight.
I'm also a long distance away :( working, and caring for several people so can't just be there, but am on the phone several times a day trying to support, trying to prop up my sobbing devastated child.
It just hurts so much. I can't FIX this for them.
A small part of me knows that in the end this will be better. Several of my adult kids are married and their partners have blended into our family so easily and our extended families are very fond of each other. This partner actively restricted our child from visiting or seeing us (we aren't in each others pockets, but a few times a year!) All put down to anxiety but I have always felt a little uneasy about it.
But my feelings are irrelevant about that.
I just want to know, HOW I can best help my child pick themselves up, carry on, and how to get the best legal advice. They are continuing to fund the ex (as presumably the courts would order this as ex has no job and probably no intention of supporting themselves... they've gone back home to parents)
I want to scream and rage because it's so unfair. I don't because I have to be adult. But my child is a good person.. truly. Spends their days helping others, and has always supported the ex with all their heart.
It just hurts :(
(name changed and vague pronouns as I've been here forever)