Hatred of football

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I need some help to try and get less wound up and annoyed by football.

Having a lovely weekend both myself and DH have had time away at other activities/ hobbies. This afternoon while we had no plans he’s choosing to watch the football, all fine but he’s then in another room not watching the kids and MIA for 2 hours.

i wouldn’t mind but I have nothing similar, it’s not like I put on a 2hr movie and just ignore my family once a week or sometimes even more. We both go to gym / out for meals with friends /
cinema and I don’t mind….maybe because it’s less often?

It just seems to be on the telly all the time. If its
not cup A, then it’s cup B and so on. It turns him into a mindless drone and affects his mood.

I think I’m almost jealous of football, I feel like he would rather spend his time watching it than spending time with me….which isn’t completely true, if he have plans he’s ok not watching it but if we are just at home i swear it’s always on (or feel like it)

Not really after anything just wanting to
rant!

Oh ok 😂 look up some of the football threads on here - you’d be surprised! Plenty of people suggesting it’s perfectly normal and okay for men to zone out and be obsessed with football and that you should simply sit in the room silently to ‘spend time with him,’ or that it’s normal to be angry and in a temper if your team loses.

Love football. Dh watches it endlessly. Ds's love it.
But seriously you are talking drivel. Why not sit in he lounge together Dh watches tv as dc play?

We have football on constantly. And I Mn constantly. And the problem is....?

Why can't he mind the children while watching the football? I don't even mean full time minding; they can choose to sit with him and watch from kick off to final whistle or go in and out.

Football is absorbing but it doesn't require Trappist silence which is a good job because your DH won't find it in a stadium or at the pub. In fact it's better when there's a group of you and it's weird not to find it a pleasure to explain to someone who doesn't know just why the men are lining up with their hands in front of their goolies or someone is rolling around on the grass like a wounded animal.

I also find it weird to hate something essentially harmless. Bored, yes, but hate? I'm not a big fan - just the big occasions like the World Cup or the Euros where I usually like England best but also the other Home Nations. And Ireland. And I cheered for Iceland in one Euros I saw. Was it the last one or the one before? In my head they were just like the 'Wildlings in Game Of Thrones. I confess I liked Wales and Gareth Bale and his man bun better than sulky England that time and I don't have a drop of Welsh blood in me.

This is why I hate the World Cup. I grew up with a football dad and it doesn't usually interest my partner, but coke World Cup time it's constantly on it the house. I can't help but find it annoying. They're so passionate about millionaires running around on a pitch built of blood. Grrr.

The problem is that he opts out of caring for his children, moving to another room every time football is on TV. He ‘zones out’ and it ‘affects his mood.’ That’s the problem - it’s stated clearly in the op.

It's not a football problem. It's a DH problem.

Exactly

We have football on constantly. And I Mn constantly. And the problem is....?

For me it's the noise and inane commentary. So long as the sound is off I don't care.

My husband is a big football fan, he loves it. I could have chosen to be annoyed by this, and hate his hobby, or accept it and see if I enjoyed it myself. I chose the latter, got involved and actually really enjoy watching the games with him. We have had fun days out at the pub watching it, been to watch the team play, made some great memories.. and it doesn't annoy me when it is on in the house. I think by deciding to hate something, it will make it a much bigger deal than it is.

This is the type of thing I meant. It’s lovely that you personally found you enjoy yo ur husband’s hobby (I hope he makes the same effort for you too) but op is rightly annoyed that he zones out and is moody when he’s supposed to be an active partner to her. She doesn’t want to or need to try to enjoy his hobby in order to try to force family life into him if she can’t force him into family life.

Imagine the answer to ‘DH is doing x, which is annoying to me’ being ‘have you considered deciding to enjoy it instead and not choose to be annoyed, and just allow him to continue his annoying and selfish behaviour?’

As an aside my cousin married a season pass holder.
They have to leave any family function be it funeral wedding ..anything ..including own fathers birthday...by 1.15 at the latest if it's a sat.

This level of selfishness magically disappears because it's football. Fuck off

Imagine , gets up duringvwedding speeches from seat at top table.
Oh I've to be home in time for bargain hunt, it's my favourite show.
Byeee.

Football is a lot more than just a TV show like Bargain Hunt.

Having said that, someone who leaves a family wedding or funeral early to attend a match is a disgrace.

Same

People always say this, but it isn’t. Football isn’t any ‘more’ in any way that the season finale of Jersey Shore or a new Louis Theroux special. People act like it’s somehow more important but it isn’t. It’s just enjoyed more by men, so prioritised more. But it isn’t any more important or worthy than any other televised entertainment.

Well clearly it is more important. In the same way that the Queen's funeral was a more important event shown on TV than a repeat of Only Fools and Horses.

How is that comparable? A once in a lifetime historical event and a sport that is on TV frequently?

It isn’t any more important, unless you personally like football.

I am surprised by the amount of slating this man is getting on here, as it doesn't seem like he is doing anything wrong. If he watches it once a week, and only sometimes more, then that isn't much - your OP seems to say you sometimes pursue your own hobbies and interests yourself, so how is it any different?

How old are your kids - what level of supervision do they require? As this is probably a factor in your irritation.

I don't mind football myself - it's not among the sports I would necessarily think to watch on my own, but when I have a partner who enjoys it I will watch with them sometimes and generally can get quite into it. (Snooker is my favourite - can watch that for hours. My daughter finds it boring, but is amused by my liking for it I think - at least I hope she isn't posting on here saying it makes me a shit mom!)

And I would immediately fall in love with anybody who announced they had to leave a wedding to watch Bargain Hunt! 🤣🤣🤣

Exactly.

Me too
married A man who hates it as much as me

Sometimes I get frustrated that football is always on but I don’t really watch anything (not in an arsey way, I get decision paralysis from the sheer number of things I could watch so just choose not to watch anything) so there isn’t really something to replace it with. DH watches the football but still engages with family life. We both play with toddler DD while he watches and if she’s playing with DH I’ll scroll on my phone. This evening he took his iPad in the kitchen and had the game on while he cooked.

Unless the OP's husband intends to lock himself in a room alone with a TV and plenty of snacks for a fortnight the children can come and go as they please because it is their house too.

The OP who hates football can watch something else on another device, read, knit, go out, fuck the delivery man or whatever she wants.

As they share parental responsibility it would be ideal for her husband to mind the children in front of the football while she is doing this.

If he doesn't want to do this then it's a husband and dad problem not a football problem. Most people who like football and who are also parents (usually men) can manage this and actually enjoy it. It's one of the easier childcare tasks. The OP just needs to tell her husband because no one else can solve it for her.

Each World Cup is a once in a lifetime historical event.

A hot dog and popcorn? That doesn't sound very English @BobbyBobbyBobby. I realise football is an international affair and the clue is in the name World Cup which unlike the World Series is played between nations of the world.

Are you one of those people from the country who calls football soccer and are you on a wind up or just have fond memories of cheerleading and pom poms and shit?

I still think OP should do what she wants to do unless it is actively dangerous to leave the children with their dad in which case I would say LTB.