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A year ago tonight

49 replies

bloodywhitecat · 19/11/2022 22:25

We'd not long been home from a lights event at a local attraction, we'd put the babies to bed and had eaten dinner, I was sat next to my husband on the sofa when he dropped some of the ice cream he was eating down his jumper. I turned to look at him and realised he had all the classic signs of a stroke. The stroke was a big one, I called 999 and it took a while to connect to a call handler and the ambulance took forever to come. Life had already been unkind to him as he had terminal cancer and the tumours were growing again when this happened. He spent almost four weeks in a hospital bed (where the 'care' was shocking) and he came home just before Christmas to a hospital bed in the living room. He never recovered. I never heard his voice again.

I miss him so much but as I write this I can hear an owl outside, he always commented on the owls, and it makes me smile to hear it now.

OP posts:
Cr3ateAUsername · 19/11/2022 22:27

FlowersYou are stronger than you may think.

CaptainMyCaptain · 19/11/2022 22:28

So sorry to hear this.

Holidayhomehell · 19/11/2022 22:30

I’m so sorry @bloodywhitecat, tonight must bring back so many traumatic memories for you.

Im glad the owls are giving you some
comfort ❤️

lastchristmasigaveyoumyfart · 19/11/2022 22:31

Oh I’m sorry. This is so sad.

BellyDancer124 · 19/11/2022 22:33

I'm so sorry OP. Wishing you all the best Flowers

lolly07766 · 19/11/2022 22:34

So sorry you've been through this Flowers

felded · 19/11/2022 22:36

sorry to hear this, one of my parents had a stroke.

caramellattelove · 19/11/2022 22:37

So sorry op ❤️💐

NanooCov · 19/11/2022 22:38

I'm so very sorry for your loss. Lovely that the owl has decided to make itself known on tonight of all nights. I'm not very "woo" but would like to think your DH had a hand in that. I hope you and your kids are doing as well as can be expected.

Powerplant · 19/11/2022 22:39

I’m so sorry for you going through this. Listen to the owls and remember the good times you had with him . I hope this gives you a little solace 💐💐💐

BCBird · 19/11/2022 22:40

I am thinking of you all. X

Honeyroar · 19/11/2022 22:41

I’m so sorry.

May that hooting owl always make you smile.

ArcaneWireless · 19/11/2022 22:45

I’m a different name now.

I remember you and your husband and all that you did to make the world a happy place.

I remember how hard you fought for his care like some Amazonian Queen.

And I remember your pain when he left this realm.

And here you are, still here. Still kicking. And still speaking of him in your own way that quietly screams how much you loved him and love him still.

It is bloody cruel and bloody unfair but oh, to be loved and to love like that.

The only thing wrong with your love is that you didn’t get to share it for long enough.

I still think you are magnificent. And I do think of you. May the owls always tell you their stories. 🌻

CuriousMama · 19/11/2022 22:58

ArcaneWireless · 19/11/2022 22:45

I’m a different name now.

I remember you and your husband and all that you did to make the world a happy place.

I remember how hard you fought for his care like some Amazonian Queen.

And I remember your pain when he left this realm.

And here you are, still here. Still kicking. And still speaking of him in your own way that quietly screams how much you loved him and love him still.

It is bloody cruel and bloody unfair but oh, to be loved and to love like that.

The only thing wrong with your love is that you didn’t get to share it for long enough.

I still think you are magnificent. And I do think of you. May the owls always tell you their stories. 🌻

That's beautiful 🦉❤️

Tell us more about him. How did you meet?

Dinoteeth · 19/11/2022 23:02

I think that owl is a message from him. May he live on in your heart ❤️

EineReiseDurchDieZeit · 19/11/2022 23:06

Gosh, how absolutely awful for you.

Please have some of my thoughts and prayers this evening Flowers

mommybear1 · 19/11/2022 23:09

Thinking of you tonight especially 🦉 ❤️

GalaxyAddict · 19/11/2022 23:16

I use to read your posts on the FB group, about the operation your husband had, as my Mum had the same one. Life is so cruel, it's just not fair

Alacarde · 19/11/2022 23:19
Flowers
lipstickwoman · 19/11/2022 23:23

another who has followed your posts and commented, but name changed. Can't believe it's a year.. time marches on and leaves such massive changes in it wake

I'm sorry life has been so cruel x

bloodywhitecat · 19/11/2022 23:28

CuriousMama · 19/11/2022 22:58

That's beautiful 🦉❤️

Tell us more about him. How did you meet?

Tinder. I swiped right when I meant to swipe left and while I was trying to figure out how to undo the right swipe he messaged me. We got chatting, after a couple of weeks of messaging he drove up to take me out for coffee and the rest, as they say, is history. Things moved pretty quickly, we moved in together, became foster parents (we'd both had long marriages that had ended prior to meeting) and we're stupidly happy together when he got sick. He was diagnosed with pancreatic cancer, had most of his innards removed then was told it was bile duct cancer not pancreatic. He continued to work, we carried on fostering, he had chemo without much clinical success. He was waiting to start a medical trial when the stroke happened. He never once complained, never once said "Why me?", he just kept on being him. The babies we had stayed with us throughout but have now moved on to their new lives (I met up with them both recently with their new families, they are doing amazingly well) and I have a new little person living with me.

@ArcaneWireless thank you, your words are beautiful.

OP posts:
bloodywhitecat · 19/11/2022 23:31

GalaxyAddict · 19/11/2022 23:16

I use to read your posts on the FB group, about the operation your husband had, as my Mum had the same one. Life is so cruel, it's just not fair

A Whipple's? It's massive isn't it? 10 days after surgery, on the way home from hospital, he asked to stop off at the park so he could push the babies round the park in their buggy. I hope your mum had better luck than DH did Flowers

OP posts:
GalaxyAddict · 19/11/2022 23:37

Yes a Whipple, I use to look out for you posts, just hoping there was any good news. I just lurk on the group, I find it very sad, just so many of the warriors getting over the operation & then it comes back! Do you still read the comments, Dorthy lost the battle yesterday

MarmiteCoriander · 19/11/2022 23:39

I'm so sorry OP. You have been so strong. We have a regular owl in a neighbouring tree too including tonight. I love hearing it and will think of your DH. Flowers

bloodywhitecat · 19/11/2022 23:40

Oh Galaxy, I am so sorry. No, I don't read the posts any more. I found it too painful and I think I left the group. It really is such a nasty cancer.

OP posts: